abc@BRL.ARPA (Brint Cooper) (02/26/86)
--- A lawyer went fishing on a boat on the ocean one day with a bunch of friends. As the fishing continued, the boat drifted into a school of man-eating sharks and the lawyer accidently fell overboard. However, instead of immediately devouring the new morsel, the sharks began pushing the lawyer towards the boat. As he reached the boat one of his shocked friends pulled him aboard and queried "That's the most unusual thing I have ever seen. Why didn't the sharks eat you?". The lawyer replied, "Professional courtesy." ----- End of forwarded messages
lab@ucbvax.berkeley.edu (03/06/86)
Ah, yes, reminds me of a couple of goodies too good for net.jokes. For your personal pleasure, not retransmission until the Qubix net.embargo is lifted. (and maybe not then :-) [Disclaimer: I heard this firsthand from a Southern Baptist deacon who had just received his J.D. and passed the bar] One day in heaven, a key utility went on the blink. Since all those qualified to fix it were at the other place, Peter called Satan to send a fix-it soul. The devil laughed at him and said, "Make me send you one." Peter retorted, "I'll sue - and I know the judge!" But his adversary calmly replied, "Where are you gonna get a lawyer?" :-) :-) :-) :-) Then there was the guy who wanted to prove he could take it with him. At his deathbed, he called for his doctor, his minister, and his lawyer. He told them, "Here are three envelopes, each with $30,000 cash. I want each of you to take one, and when they put the casket in the ground, throw the envelopes on top of it." The men did as they were told, and at graveside, three envelopes found their way into the pit. At that point the minister said, "I must confess, one of our charities desperately needed $10,000, so I have only given $20,000." The doctor then remarked, "I too confess, we needed $20,000 for some new hospital equipment. I have given but $10,000." The lawyer looked at them askance and replied, "Gentlemen, I'm so ashamed of both of you. Why, I put my personal check for the full amount!"
lab@ucbvax.berkeley.edu (03/14/86)
HEY CLOWN! CAN'T YOU READ?? > Ah, yes, reminds me of a couple of goodies too good for net.jokes. For > your personal pleasure, not retransmission until the Qubix net.embargo > is lifted. (and maybe not then :-) NOT FOR RETRANSMISSION!!!! I'm already receiving gripes on this, as being inappropriate for net.legal. I sent this to *you* for *your* personal enjoyment. Any further complaints I will forward to you. Larry Bickford, {amd,sun,decwrl,idi,ihnp4,cbosgd}!qubix!lab