tmh@ihldt.UUCP (06/13/83)
I just went to see The Return of the Jedi this weekend and it just struck me that the rebels have real problems. For one thing it seems that the qualification for being a rebel general is a past history of criminal behavior i.e. Han who is a self confessed smuggler and Lando who is a gambler and runs an illicit mining operation are promoted almost as fast as they join up. Second it seems that there is a general for every forty or fifty soldiers (meaning that there are 2-3 colonels, 4-6 majors, 8-12 captains, 10-15 lieutenents, 10-15 sargents and one enlisted man, who has to do all the work, in each rebel unit). Notice that the last living Jedi Knight(Darth doesn't count for this) who personally has saved the rebelion from anileation by destroying the death star, who led the expedition to save a key figure of the rebelion from certain death when she was trapped inside the death star, who is unblemished criminaly and in support of the rebelion with his heart and soul is only a commander. Princess Leia who is a member of the Imperial Senate(the last check on the Emporer's power), responsible for getting the Death Star plans to the rebelion so it can be destroied, who is a princess, of high repute and a mainstay of the rebelion takes orders from generals (i.e. is not one herself). It's a shame Jabba the Hutt died if he had joined the rebels he would have commanded the Rebel forces for sure and probably gone on to become the father of thier galaxy (hopefully not in a literal sense). Of course the Imperial forces are not in such great shape either. Well lets burn the brother of the Emporer's right hand man over a couple of droids. Lets use three aircraft carriers to chase one small motor boat and better yet lets make two of them crash while doing so and let the motor boat escape while we do. What's that Lord Vader, you say you need another set of admirals because the ones you have are all used up. Yes, uhm Yes sir, but that's the forth set this week and admirals don't grow on trees. Yes Lord Vater I'll see what I can do. OMIGOD! a fighter hit the bridge of the ship and were being pulled into that planet our only chance is to dock with the death star! What do you mean the docking facilities weren't completed?! OOOPs... Well that's entertainment, Tom Harris