davidl@orca.UUCP (08/21/84)
Now I understand what the Secret Wars are all about!
Yesterday I was stolling through the toy section of my local megamart
when I happened to spy the Secret Wars (TM) logo. Behold! A tiny Dr.
Doom (TM) figure, "leader of the Marvel Super Villains (TM)," about 3
1/2 inches high (not compatible with the older 5 1/4 inch figures, of
course :-) with his own Secret Message Shield (TM). A quick perusal of
the rest of the aisle revealed:
The Marvel Secret Wars (TM) Doom Cycle (TM), complete with
secret compartment and space for your favorite Marvel Super
Villain (TM) figure;
The Marvel Secret Wars (TM) Dr. Doom (TM) Blaster Car (TM), a
small toy car with an outrageously inaccurate figure of Dr.
Doom molded inside;
The Marvel Secret Wars (TM) Iron Man (TM) Jet Cycle (TM), a toy
motorcycle with an outrageously inaccurate figure of Shellhead
molded onto it;
That's all I actually saw, although the back of each box boasted
illustrations of the other products in the Marvel Secret Wars (TM)
product line.
Now we know: Secret Wars was designed to sell these cheap-o (I mean
really cheaply made) toys to kids too young to know any better. This
explains such momentous dialogue as "I, Crusher Creel, the Absorbin'
Man, will..." that made me so disgusted I didn't even buy #1 (and boy,
am I glad now!)
By the way, those (TM)s above are for real. There must have been ten
or twenty little (TM)s on the Doom Cycle (TM) box alone. Those Marvel
lawyers sure know what they're doing.
Gimme Elfquest, D'arc Tangent (RIP), and Vaughn Bode' any old day.
David D. Levine (...decvax!tektronix!tekecs!davidl) [UUCP]
(tekecs!davidl.tektronix@csnet-relay.csnet) [ARPA]
(TM) probably indicates a trademark of Marvel Comics Group.disc@houxz.UUCP (OPUS) (08/22/84)
Ttttthhhhhaaatt's not all, folks; I'm sure you've also noticed the ads plastered all over promoting the DC "Super Powers Collection" of (probably identical) figurines of Supes, Bats, Luthor, et al complete with Bat-thermal-underwear or some such nonsense.... SJBerry
moriarty@fluke.UUCP (08/24/84)
>By the way, those (TM)s above are for real. There must have been ten >or twenty little (TM)s on the Doom Cycle (TM) box alone. Those Marvel >lawyers sure know what they're doing. Yes, I'm afraid the omnipotent being who has set up the Secret Wars (The Other?) is probably Marvel's Patent lawyer... "Get Paul Drake on the Batphone, Della...." Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc. UUCP: {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \ {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA