moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Wayward Reviewer) (09/24/84)
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I just finished reading more than a week's worth of comics (and boy, are my eyes tired!). So some of these may seem a little outdated. Please excuse this. A quick note about the "Moriarty" scale of comics grading: it is not trademarked, and feel free to copy it and use it as you wish. If you decide to copy it and alter it, fine, but then it's not the "Moriarty" scale, is it? :-) Thanks very much to Jerry Boyajian for the acknowledgements in his recent postings; don't feel obligated to put them in, Jerry, but believe me, your politeness is always appreciated (it is found so frequently in your articles that I hope I never take it for granted!). My only note is that Jerry seems to "inflate" his grades some, but it is equally likely that I deflate mine. **************************************************************************** |==>A< One of the best of the year. Example: Byrne/Claremont's Starlord | |==>B< A very good issue, one of the best of the month (usually 6/month) | |==>C< A well done, entertaining issue. Satisfying. Example: Jon Sable | |==>D< Rather boring, or a few good spots mixed with more bad ones. Ex:Mars| |==>E< Boring AND stupid or childish. Example: Secret Wars. | |==>F< Actually offensive. Example: Several of Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs | **************************************************************************** Remember to remind me to tell you about Bob Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs sometime... ***************** FLAMING CARROT #2: [C] I WOULD rate this higher, but I can understand that few people share my absolute passion for the absurd that this comics has. Besides, it keeps me in signature lines for weeks! "Two scoops of raisins in every..." "His super power is to change into a scotch terrier." "There's more hoods here than we thought!" "Then shoot MORE BULLETS!" "STINKED TO DEATH!!" And just the image of a truth & justice type sneaking up behind a bunch of gangsters and peppering them with slugs is hysterical; it is then accentuated with the caption "DEATH... Crime's bitter fruit." On the down side, Mr. Death didn't work out so well, and the poetry is too weird even for MY tastes... E-MAN #21: [B-Team: C+ ; Golden Gopher: D] A real case of schizoid comics... and a showcase of how the first few issues of First's E-MAN compare to today's. The B-Team episode was something I would have expected from Marty Pasko... very, very satirical and right on the money. The Eskimo slaves were just right... I recommend this highly to anyone who has ever watched Mr. T run around in his van and sighed. The Golden Gopher, a take-off on The Badger, however, was what I normally expect from Staton; his silly, fun work is much better than his satire. I think it's a worthwhile buy, but be warned it's only about 2/3 funny. SUPERMAN ANNUAL #10: [B-] Well, I've made no secret that I like Elliot S! Maggin's work on Superman... he does fine work for characters who have become ledgends, and when you come right down to it, there are few characters in literature (that's not just comics, folks) who are as legendary as Superman. Good to see Murphy Anderson on Curt Swan's pencils... Anderson is the Primo Swan Inker, PERIOD. I enjoyed Maggin's small touches, too: the "Old-timer" from O'Neil's GREEN LANTERNs, the space shuttle (yeah, wouldn't you like to drop in on those folks? (also, they save themselves with no help from Supes... good show!)). A very magic quality I can't describe, tho' King Cosmos is a loser no matter how you slice him. If he'd tighten the plot up a little, it could have made it as high as a B+. POWER PACK #5: [B+]: If not for Jerry and others, I would have forgotten about this comic... phew! I think maybe Louise Simonsin should be writing the X-Men. Maybe not, though... this comics has potential being mined which I never saw in it's conception, and that is a true rarity among comics... something really original. At any rate, when and if Louise and Walt have a kid, I want to have that kid schooled in fiction & art right away... its genes will have fantastic potential! ("Look, Walt, he's glowing...." "My God, he looks just like Bob Layton!"). Good, real characters: the kids' parents, Friday, and a Government agent who *isn't* a wacked-out paranoid (about time). Good dialogue. And a sweet (yes, that is the word for it) aura around it. A book I hope to share with my younger cousins sometime (though I think that they (they're almost 9 now) think I'm a little silly to read comics). Let's hope that living in New York won't spoil them, with all those poorly done Marvel characters around. Anyone read the Spidey/Power Pack special comic on child abuse, and want to review it? Hope they don't go to the Marvel offices and fall into Jim Shooter's clutches ("Hee Hee Hee... I'm going to tie you all up and subject you to the most horrible fate... I'm going to SCRIPT YOU!!!" (Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Shooter's got Toto and...)). SIDE NOTE #1/ The Secret Wars Collection Dr. Doom figure: Victor Von Doom is Rod McKuen (it rhymes! ... almost) ###########\ AMERICAN FLAGG #15: [B] I hate to say standard excellence; true excellence is never standard, and Chaykin's work fits the bill. Is it possible the art is IMPROVING (I mean from Chaykin's last issue where he did the art)? That seems difficult to believe, but... And doesn't Flagg look like Jack Kelley of the old MAVERICK series? The art pages in the back are a nice summary for anyone not keeping up with the plot (it can be somewhat tough at times...). As Jerry points out, it is tough to keep coming up with nice things to say about these good issues. SWAMP THING #31: [B] Yah, quite a few B's.... but this is a month's worth. Beauty in such horror (and this is horror... my younger cousins aren't getting near to these issues until they're at least 19!). But it is there... I look forward to the conclusion in the giant-size issue coming soon. (I should say more, I *should* say more...) ZOT #5 [B+]: Best Cover of the Month. Best New Villain of the Month. Best, best, best.... In this era of contrived innocence (Claremont has tried to mass-produce it in New Muties... it has worked much better in X-Men), this is a JOY. Jenny has a calm and quiet presence, like the eye of the storm, that produces the real McCoy, a phenomena I am unable to recall happening elsewhere in comics today. Jack-9-Jack is the best new villain since Arcade (someone wish to counter me on this one? Come on, yeah, come on... knock this battery off my shoulder...). And, in such an absurd comic, I was surprised (as others have noticed) just how vivid the assassination was. An amazing person, this Scott McCloud. STAR TREK #9 [C+]: (sorry, Jerry...) Almost a B... only the rather hokey funeral at the end detracts from it. But lots of chances to observe characters during "quiet" period, a type of issue I find essential in any good comic. Good stuff.... TALES OF THE TEEN TITANS #49: [C] Much potential in this wedding! Looks like fun (where's MY invitation? Oh, that's right, other criminals are probably going, too). Dr. Light is always fun, as he's such a, well, putz. There just aren't enough whining villains, and it's unethical and time-consuming to go out and create them... ALPHA FLIGHT #17: [C] Good issue: it was entertaining, which they have been, of late. I take back some of the things I said about Byrne... he has been better, and I look forward to his more "experimental" art style in the future. If only he'd get rid of the old hokey Jean-Marie Schizo trip. I wish we'd got to see Puck & Wolverine's cup of coffee ("Now, we sneak up behind Shooter when he's not looking, and you pull his touque (sp?) over his eyes, and I'll 'snickt' him... and Louise and Walt stage a coup!!" "Only if we make Jimbo read 'Dazzler: The Graphic Poontah' Twenty times slow, while reciting the Dr. Doom Secret Wars Rhyme with no mistake, eh?"). FF #273: [D+] Good, but wrapped up WAY too quickly. What goes on? Also, the She-Hulk seems kinda, uh, loose. Except, please, don't tell her I said that... (say yur prayers, yuh flea-picken' varmint!). NOTE #2:/ "How can we stop them, Captain America ?" TM "That's OUR secret, Spider-Man !!" TM "Ah, open up, ya tight-lipped son-of-a-bitch !!!" TM #######\ BLUE DEVIL #7: [C] Would have been better with better art (sorry, I'm not a Gil Kane person). Unfortunately, Paris is leaving the art on this title; I hope (but doubt) that they can get a suitable replacement. Best end teaser of the year: "NEXT: THE TRICKSTER gets COLD FEET! And NO WONDER... look at those FLIMSY SHOES!" MS TREE #10: [C] You're right on this one, Jerry... the coloring is just PERFECT! I feel like I've gone back to the fifties (why it reminds me so much of 50's B&W TV crime shows I'll never know...). But it is just right. On the down side, I guessed the ending pretty early (but that's what you enjoy about Ms. Tree). I am, ah say ah AM, getting tired of Muerta. THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #5: [D+]: Anyone notice that the Legion is getting a mite bloodthirsty? That comment about chains being right for Titania seemed a bit strange, don't you think? Maybe I'm just predjudiced against Levitz... he used to write some REALLY weird things to the COMICS JOURNAL, back when I could stomach Gary Groth for short periods of time... SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #18 [C+]: 1) Plenty of Stan Lee-isms ("shell-like ears", etc.). 2) Ron Frenz is great, but why does he always make Peter look like Mark Linn-Baker (the young comedy writer from "My Favorite Year")? 3) Much better dialogue than I expected, except during the fight scenes -- empty jabber. TALES OF THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #318: [C] What? Open adultery with Gim Allan? Zzzzzzzzzz (but what will we tell the kids?). And would you want a Durlan mad at you ("Honey, I'm HOME!" Snarl...)? SECRET WARS #8 & 9: [F+] Why +? Well, Klaw is some fun.... STAR WARS #90 [C]: Mary Jo Duffy is the only one who can do this series. Characters are really progressing, and the decisions that the Rebellion is making are shown to be just as difficult as they really would be, I imagine... to the point that they look rather unsurmountable. And Luke emphasizing the danger of the force... DOCTOR WHO #3 [D+]: Daleks already? Marvel is pushing things rather quickly ("MAKETHISPOPULAR! MAKETHISPOPULAR! MAKETHISPOPULAR! MAKETHISPOPULAR!...") MACHINE MAN #4: [Art: B-; Writing, D+] Yes, some of the overviews DID remind me of BLADE RUNNER. 'Nuff said. THE THING #19: [D] But it will be continuing into the next FF... CROSSFIRE #3: [B-] Perhaps the old-time artists and writers do have two heirs. Evanier has an excellent view of Hollywood, with depth, wit, and a hint of sadness. Speigle's art is so clean it shines compared to most others, and I LIKE IT! SURGE #1: [D+] I like the references to Crossfire's counterfeiting buddy and to That's Incredible. Other than that, plah. KITTY & WOLVERINE #2: [C] Oh, boy, another kid possessed (been looking at the bookstands under "Mystery" at your local Safeway lately, Chris? Gag...). However, Claremont has always gotten Logan right; it's about the only character he hasn't compromised lately. When Wolverine walks into Tokyo airport, you can almost hear the soundtrack music... It's Clint Eastwood Time!! I do like Kitty's new hairstyle (it looks better in X-Men Annual #8). NEW MUTANTS #22: [C] Great cover... Don Bluth meets the Muties. Maybe I'm getting soft, but I enjoyed this issue. It was na' boring. NEW MUTANTS #23: [D+] ...but this one was. X-MEN ANNUAL #8: [D] I like Leiahola's (spelled right! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...) art, but this... I think the hints Illiyana (sp?) dropped in the story would have been offensive to the others. Her rather pleasant sense of humor does stand out, though. One should note that Storm decides to leave at the end of this. Does that make Kurt the leader? Logan? Scott comes back (most probable)? AVENGERS #250: [D+] Nice beginning and ending, but Maelstrom is getting bor-ing. Yup, yup, yup... BATMAN & THE OUTSIDERS: [C+] Several Improvements: 1) Aparo back on art. 2) Finally get Metamorpho's subplot going... I really enjoy ol' Stagsy (I bet he is a major supporter for Reagan :-) ). 3) Barr's Batman never is less than accurate (though, of course, it lacks Englehart's three-dimensional quality). But he does produce the standard Bman with no shirking. His detective work on Halo was good, and the line at the end -- "A child *belongs* with his {note: HIS} parents, Tatsu -- I'll hear no more about it." BEAUTY & THE BEAST #1: [F-] About as low as one can go without getting REAL offensive. The Dazzler is like the Typhoid Mary of Marvel -- everything she touches turns to crap. ALIEN LEGION #4: [C+] Usual man vs. himself story... but this comic always has a rough, cynical edge to it, particularly when dealing with the Empire's bureaucratic style. And the art is always good. Zeetor (I KNOW that's wrong... the kangaroo fella) is becoming one of my favorites... use Commander McBragg's voice for him whenever possible. VIGILANTE #13: [D-] Irretrievably Boring. SPACED #4: [D+] Boring with a few good satirical characters. Too many poor one-liners, though. (however, with a name like "Unbridled Ambition", they might just make something of themselves...). CEREBUS #65: [C+] Ah, now, here we go! Cerebus as Mr. Omnipotent is just great... fantastic potential for comedy here. Just watching him glide (using imaginative license here (not expired yet)) across the floor makes me smile. Watch for more... ESCAPE TO THE STARS #2: [C-] Not fully entertaining, as the poor art (or at least poor contrast art) coordinated badly with the script. However, there is *something* about this comic. I imagine if you enjoyed H. Beam Piper's "Little Fuzzy", you'll like this. LOVE & ROCKETS #8: [Mechanics: B] Arghhh! Cliffhanger city! Someone other than Scott McCloud understands Japanese animation... Didn't have time to read Heartbreak Soup and others, but am looking forward to it. THOR 350: [C-] Nope, I'm silent on this one. ATOMIC MOUSE #1: [D] Basically bought it because the cover reminded me of Michael O'Donohughe's "Kit 'N Kaboodle" comic in National Lampoon... just like Tom & Jerry but with real gore. However, it is not like that inside, just straight Mighty Mouse, with no fun whatsoever. But it is fun to watch a pill-popping hero (he keeps chugging them down until he catches the cretinous villain's spaceship). DNAgents #14: [C-] The Wally Wood shot was appreciated (and done well, I might add). The flip side of the REGENagents. Pretty boring, altogether. FIRESTORM #30 & FIRESTORM ANNUAL #2: [D-]: I quit. JOURNEY #14: [B-] No B 'cause 1) I'm not crazy about Normy or the crossover, and 2) "J.B. Space" was pretty poor. But the rest was standard good Loeb... I get such a good feeling from reading this mag! GREEN LANTERN #183: [C-] Pretty even on the good and bad spots. "Okay, Irish... you win! I've been a selfish, self-pitying fool!" Say what? Len Wein wrote this groaner? Oh, oh, Raganarok must be around the corner... Did like the shot with Major Disaster walking down the street, but I assume that may have been Gibbon's doing... he loved things like that with Dr. Who. SPANNERS GALAXY #1: [C+] Nicola Cuti has lost none of his (her?) talent. This is a very well written issue, and looks like it has much potential. I look forward to more. JON SABLE #19: [C] Good as always, but it seems to have a very abrupt start and end... for a minute I thought I'd missed the last issue (#18 was the last part of the Olympics story, right?). Still, some fine motivational work done here. X-MEN #188: [B] WHAT?? A 'B'?!! After all those pithy comments I made about Chris? Well, he did several things here that cleared out a lot of deadwood i.e subplots (but not as many as he should have, hint hint). He put Kurt in the picture, and had the ending confrontation among the X-Men. I think Kurt was talking from OUR point-of-view... lately this strip has shown a lot of depressive scenes, and all the anti-mutant sentiment rushing across the the Marvel Universe makes it all rather hopeless-sounding. But I think that this restates why the X-Men stick together; they are good, noble people who feel that someone must help, and that someone must set an example. They're good people. I hope that the anti-mutant thing blows over sometime soon... I don't think people are all that paranoid (maybe they are... now THAT's frightening.). ------------------------ Well, I'm going to read SIX FROM SIRIUS in one shot sometime this week; I'll let you know about this later. From all of us in Podunk, Washington, Good night. "Looks like another rookie, Herb." "He'll learn, he'll learn..." Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc. 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