[net.comics] "WARNING, WILL ROBINSON! MORIARTY REVIEWS APPROACHING!

moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (01/04/85)

  Ah, well, a good Christmas was had by all, and I've got tons of new
  comics to review...  Guess I'll review them in segments...

------------------------------------------------

"There *are* standards.  If you can't see one, you *make* one and stick to
 it come Hell or high water -- until you see a BETTER one."

						-John Gaunt

****************************************************************************
|==>A< One of the best of the year. Example: Byrne/Claremont's Starlord    |
|==>B< A very good issue, one of the best of the month (usually 6/month)   |
|==>C< A well done, entertaining issue.  Satisfying.  Example: Jon Sable   |
|==>D< Rather boring, or a few good spots mixed with more bad ones. Ex:Mars|
|==>F< Boring AND stupid or childish.  Example: Secret Wars.               |
|==>Z< Actually offensive.  Example: Several of Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs   |
****************************************************************************


  _M_E_G_A_T_O_N _M_A_N #1 [C+, but only for those who REALLY remember silver-age
  comics]:

  Some rather flat political satire, combined with one of the funniest
  parodies of the 60's Marvel (and some Mort Weisenger (sp?) stuff) I've
  ever seen.  The bit about "What if he's not the *real* Megaton Man?"
  was good, and the fight scene simply hummed with accurate pot-shots...
  I'll bet Stan der Man was wondering who had filched his guide-book for
  writing comics when (if?) he read this:

       "SO, villain!"
       "SO, avenger of justice!"
       "SO!"

  Meg states the obvious with just enough exaggeration to get a laugh,
  which is probably not very easy to write.  The Jimmy Olson parody and
  the villains names (Doctor Software, The Revisionist Historian) were
  also good.

  Unfortunately, much of the non-Silver age satire didn't work.  The
  Doonesbury strips were atrocious,  and I still haven't figured out
  what Orson Welles is doing as President (Charles Foster Kane trades
  Xanadu for the White House?).  But, the more I read this, the more I
  enjoy it... and the art is different enough to get it on this stand-
  point alone.

  ----

  _S_E_C_R_E_T _W_A_R_S #12  [D+]:

  Okay, I'll admit... Jim Shooter isn't a TOTALLY bad writer.  He just
  seems to have a heck of a time with plot and characterization.  The
  conclusion to this was obvious... when you see everyone dead, you know
  something's gotta happen, else Marvel's merchandising lawyers
  assasinate every writer in the building.  So, let me say that this
  comics has atrocious art, terrible dialogue, and a hokey plot...
  *but*:

  1)  Some of the humor is delightful ("Some of us ain't immortal, ya
  know!" & Klaw).

  2)  The idea of such fantastic power is handled well... Doom can't
  have a grasp on reality -- he IS reality!  This has been done before,
  but it is done with a good degree of panache.

  Certainly not a good series, and I'm going to avoid the next one like
  the plague; but has anyone noticed that you really could have bought
  the last issue of the series to find out what changes had taken place
  at the end of the SW?  Shooter explains everything in about two pages.
  Reminds me of the epilogue during the old "FBI" TV series...

  ----

  _C_R_I_S_I_S _O_N _I_N_F_I_N_I_T_E _E_A_R_T_H_S #1 [C+]:

  And now for something completely different...

  Why do I enjoy this and not Secret Wars?  Close correlation of charac-
  ters to their standards; not throwing *everyone* in the DC universe
  in; the probability that this will not have a "gosh, it was all a
  dream!" ending; and general innovation by the author.  For example,
  the Earth-3 destruction was beautifully done... I enjoyed the irony of
  Luthor sending he & Lois's child to Earth.

  I think I can place this serie's excellence down to two things: good
  writing and great art.  Should be interesting....

  ----

  _A_C_T_I_O_N #565 [Ambush Bug: B+]:

       "And then there's the Bizarro ray... Me am SURE to include all
  THOSE tales, AMN'T I?"

       "I'm going ta hit you with one of the Greatest Truths of Our
  Time!
       "TEAM BOOKS SELL!"

  Need I say more?

  ----

  _C_A_M_E_L_O_T _3_0_0_0 #12 (finally) [B-]:

  There is no question in my mind that this has been an excellent maxi-
  series (despite lateness and some degeneration towards the end), and
  while this is a bit of an anti-climax, it is still very good.  While
  the defeat of Mordred (and, in some respects, Morgan) was too pat (I
  kept expecting John Carpenter to pop in and say "Cut!"), the books
  still captures the mystique of legend, which is a very powerful thing.
  Arthur's sacrifice goes down right... while I have a problem with the
  last scene (I just cannot feel heroic about a one-eyed blob, sorry),
  I liked the idea of the Grail reformed in the fusion of matter and
  energy that results from Arthur's final act.  As to the last few
  scenes: the resolution of Tristan's problems were handled, well, logi-
  cally;  while I'll bet every Jerry Fallwell in the nation will show
  this as a "typical" comic book, I thought it made sense.  Much better
  done was Gawain's homecoming, and *especially* Lancelot and Guineverre
  together; a very nice touch.  I wish they'd left it with Tom rebuild-
  ing London; as Arthur's spirtual son, it makes sense that he carry on
  the "family tradition" -- Arthur was supposed to be as great a builder
  as a warrior.  My only last complaint -- why must *all* of Bolland's
  characters look so... wicked?  Oh, well...

  ----

  _N_E_X_U_S #7 [B-]:

  Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whaat a feelin' -- Baron & Rude!  Gee, it's nice to
  have you back, to join our revelry; B-A-D (De writing's grand!), G-E-R
  (Art's never bland!), N-E-X-U-S!

  In short,  there is justice in the universe (not to mention original-
  ity...)

  ----

  _D_R. _S_T_R_A_N_G_E #70 [C]:

  You can tell just how good a writer Roger Stern is by the way the fla-
  vor of hos comics remain almost constant despite a vast number of
  artist changes (don't despair, Paul Smith'll be back next time, and
  Bret Blevins does a very nice job...).  If we only had a Dr. Strange
  to convince all of us of  the insanity of nuclear war (A very nice
  ending)...

  ----

  IN BRIEF:

  _A_M_E_R_I_C_A_N _F_L_A_G_G! #19 [B]

  _F_L_A_M_I_N_G _C_A_R_R_O_T #4 [C-]:  Equivalent to "WHAT IF Chris Claremont
  scripted a Flaming Carrot Story?"

  _J_O_U_R_N_E_Y #17 (Now under Fantagraphics) [C+]: Wolverine's not even in
  this one, but it just doesn't let up...

  _G_R_I_M_J_A_C_K #9 [C+]

  _M_A_G_E #5 [B-]: Probably the most visual comic in comics these days...
  each issue seems to last about 2 minutes.  Partly due to lack of
  dialogue, partly do to very fluid storytelling...

  ----

  More later on these CBS stations...

                "Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute..."

					Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
					John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
 {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
    {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
	fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA

moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (01/10/85)

OK, here are rest of the reviews:

------------------------------------------------

"There *are* standards.  If you can't see one, you *make* one and stick to
 it come Hell or high water -- until you see a BETTER one."

						-John Gaunt

****************************************************************************
|==>A< One of the best of the year. Example: Byrne/Claremont's Starlord    |
|==>B< A very good issue, one of the best of the month (usually 6/month)   |
|==>C< A well done, entertaining issue.  Satisfying.  Example: Jon Sable   |
|==>D< Rather boring, or a few good spots mixed with more bad ones. Ex:Mars|
|==>F< Boring AND stupid or childish.  Example: Secret Wars.               |
|==>Z< Actually offensive.  Example: Several of Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs   |
****************************************************************************
--------

MACROSS #1 [F]:

Now, some of you who see this will go, "Eh, he just doesn't like giant
robots."  Partly true, but I came close to giving this my coveted 'Z' award
for actually offending me; I'm going to hold off until three issues of this
are out of the way.  I'll tell you this, though, they're on their way...

Now why do I dislike this so much?  For one major reason: I *love* Japanese
animation.  I can even, at times, put up with pap like "Pole Position" on
Saturday morning to watch the beautifully detailed work.  This is nothing
compared to my admiration for the "Kimba" and "Yamoto" shows (and, to a
lesser degree, our old buddy Speed and "Eighth Man"); those really made my
afternoons when I was 10, and I can still watch "Kimba" with no harumphing
whatsoever.  I saw the "Galaxy Express" movie and was extremely impressed
(and somewhat moved).   I would also cause mass mayhem if someone would do a
full translation of "Captain Harlock" for those of us who appreciate great
animation with a great story and characters and (constant ranting from here
on out...) -- I happen to have seen one episode from a video anthology that
was translated, and it was great.  Oh, yes, 'Macross'.  Well, this is
supposed to be the comic edition of a Japanese series that I haven't seen,
that will be hitting the states soon.  The author/translator, in the opening
page, explains that he and his creative team were so taken with it that they
threw all else to the wind and turned this out.  There is one major thing I
am sure is wrong with it, and one major thing I think is wrong with it: the
art and the writing (perhaps I should say the translation -- the Japanese
author of the series should not be responsible for Carl Macek's problems),
respectively. 

The art first: it has amateur written all over it, and it is all the worse
because it tries to do an imitation of the Japanese form of comic art, and
fails miserably.  Several frames of it made me shudder, simply due to their
attempt to imitate this certain style, and the depth of Svea Stauch's
failure.  Bad.  Do not take this to be an example of Japanese animation art
for those of you checking it out in the first place.  Baaad news.

I think what Carl Macek needs to understand is that a good translator is not
a person who has such a brilliant grasp of the language as to be able to set
it down word-for-word.  A good translator catches not only the wording of
the original work, it catches its style and its feeling, and writes it in
the second language in just such a way as to capture this feeling and
relight it -- the same flame, but in a different lamp.  I read several of
Simenon's works in both languages, and it lets one see just how much a good
translator can do for a book.  Carl Macek shows just how much a poor
translator can do (however, to be fair,  Carl may be writing from the
English-language version of "Macross", so that is why I am not sure I wish
to condemn him right off).

In short, this is Comico's first really big failure, and a very unfortunate
outing all around.  I'll check out asn issue or two more, but my
recommendation is, go out and buy the (rather expensive) "Space Cruiser
Yamoto" (sp?) if you want to see what good art and a not-poorly translated
Japanese story are like.

--------

X-MEN #192 [C]:

Several Points:

1) So much for any suspense in the Kitty & Wolverine story (what? Neither of
them die? :-) ).

2) Frentic... so much happens in this book.  If only Claremont didn't feel
he had to fill in what had happened in all previous plotlines EVERY ISSUE...
people come off sounding like the actors in the DUNE movie, constantly
trying to tell the audience the plot, but sacrificing the believability of
their characters at the same time.  Everyone here sounded like a Greek
chorus.

3) I have always liked Rogue, but the character improves with time.  It is
truly one of those that Claremont does better than anyone else.

4) Okay, the biggie:  I DO NOT (repeat, with sirens blaring and horns
honking, *DO NOT*) believe that all the people in America would be going
anti-mutant to this degree.  A lynching of Xavier I could see, by one of the
anti-mutant groups (Lord knows we have quite a few fanatic's around here),
but to buy the idea that there were enough Hitler Youth in Xavier's class to
want to do this is unbeliveable.  And the airport scene was the big
screw-up... everyone's thinking about mutants?  In winter?  At Kennedy
Airport?  Hell, no, they're all trying to find good plane connections!  Try
being racist when you've got 10 minutes to get from gate 5 to gate 290!
Anyway, sorry, but I just don't buy it.  As I said before, where the heck is
my (our) counterpart(s) on Earth-Marvel?  I know where I'D be...  bring
flaming wrath down upon all those SOB's in net.kill-muties!  Frightening the
wits out of those brain-damaged nim-nos in net.religion.Muties=Satan!  The
Napoleon Of Crime Rises Again!

(Excuse us, Moriarty seems to have slipped the track again... here, give him
the sedatives...).

--------

2000 A.D. #1 [C for D.R. & Quinch, D+ for Judge Dredd, and D- for Strontium
Dog]:

D.R. and Quich reminds me of a very funny O.C. and Stiggs story set in the
future... except it is much funnier that the aforementioned NatLamp stories.
Very black humor.  Strontium Dog just doesn't rise above the average story.
Judge Dredd brings new meaning to gore comics, but there is no question that
*no one* has more balls than Judge Dredd!

--------

MS TREE #14 [D+]:

I'm starting to wonder about this comic... it just isn't that amusing, or
thrilling, and the characters are cardboard.  The latter is O.K. if either
the story is funny (which earlier chapters were, in a campy way), or the
plot was interesting enough.  The last story, and this one, seem to be
heading towards the Mike Hammer lurid-thriller mode, and it is getting
monotonous.  

--------

DALGODA #3[C+]:

A warm, funny out-of-place character in one hell of a situation, which adds
to a lot of interesting predicaments, and is abetted by a real feeling for
visual situations... I often feel like I'm viewing a TV show.  Also, several
of the most non-predictable characters anywhere.  Very nice...

--------

ALIEN LEGION #6[C]:

The flip side of DALGODA -- both have excellent stories, and have very good
characterizations; but Dalgoda puts more emphasis on the characters, while
AL gives vivid flashs of the characters as the plot takes precedence.  Both
are very well done examples of their genres, though, and are worth your
attention.

-------- --------

IN BRIEF:

STAR TREK #13 [C]: Hail, Hail, the gang's all here...

FIRESTORM #34 [D]:  Conway has a certain way of writing that trancends even
the very poor artwork of this issue.  Not quite constantly entertaining, but
almost...

SUN DEVILS #9[D-]: Conway's touch is missing here, tho'; anti-climax city.

SISTERHOOD OF STEEL #2 [D+]

SPANNER'S GALAXY #4 [D]: Extremely varied, either good or poor, very little
fair...

TALES OF THE TEEN TITANS #52 [D+]:  I'll be glad when we get back to only
one Titan's book....

E-MAN #23 [D-]:  Too frentic to be really funny...

POWER PACK #9 [C-]

WEB OF SPIDER-MAN #1 [F]: Spam, spam, spam, spam, Spam, spam, spam, spam....

AMAZING SPIDERMAN #263 [D]: Now going down the tubes...

ALPHA FLIGHT #21 [D+]: Shallow characters in semi-horrific situations...
great macabre art.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #304 [C-]

DREADSTAR #17[D-]: Good art, but writing so poor that the last panel elicits
unintentional guffaws.

DOCTOR WHO #6 [F+]: Don't waste your time...

-------- --------

Graphics novels will be included at some later date, with STARSTRUCK in the
lead...  I'm planning on organizing my collection this winter, so Spring
should bring many articles on dusty old titles like the original Thunder
Agents, and the rise and crash-dive of Steranko, and the Byrne/Claremont
X-Men...

The Byrne/Claremont X-Men?  Has it been *that* long?  Just call me The
Ancient One...

       "He even looks like God... except his hands are in his pockets."
                "They should be, he's got four dead Presidents in 'em."


					Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
					John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
 {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
    {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
	fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA