moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (02/14/85)
<INCOMING EXCUSES! INCOMING EXCUSES!>
Yes, I'm a wee bit late this time... as I am most times. This would have
been in sooner except for an interesting bug in the Mac File editor -- lost
60% of this article the first time around. However, it's all here in one
long tirade...
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"There *are* standards. If you can't see one, you *make* one and stick to
it come Hell or high water -- until you see a BETTER one."
-John Gaunt
"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *can*
you believe?!"
-Bullwinkle J. Moose
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|==>A< One of the best of the year. Example: Byrne/Claremont's Starlord |
|==>B< A very good issue, one of the best of the month (usually 6/month) |
|==>C< A well done, entertaining issue. Satisfying. Example: Jon Sable |
|==>D< Rather boring, or a few good spots mixed with more bad ones. Ex:Mars|
|==>F< Boring AND stupid or childish. Example: Secret Wars. |
|==>Z< Actually offensive. Example: Several of Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs |
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FANTASTIC FOUR #277 [C-]:
Whew! Quite a comic? How often do we get to see the Prince of Evil
buy the big one? I mean, heck, Thor and The Surfer and anyone else
with cosmic power never seems to be able to deal with him at all. A
pretty nice piece of work for the good Doctor ("And how was your day at
work, Master?" "Oh, not too bad, Wong. I finished off Mephisto just
after lunch..." "Woooo, he BAAAD!" (Ok, I know, Franklin did it -- the
kid's getting to be a regular little bundle of deux et machina)). I
doubt the Surfer cares, anyway... However, how does this leave Dr.
Doom? I thought Mephisto was keeping his Mom. Is she free ("Hi, Son!
I'm out on parole!"), or has she been traded to another league --
Pluto? Satan (as in dad for Son of)? Not to mention Mrs. Nosy
Parker, who gets a reprimand from the good Doctor ("You called her
in... YOU bury her!").
Hope Ben admits that he pulled a boner pretty quick...
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ELEMENTALS #3 [C-]:
Why do I keep feeling like I'm having my leg pulled? It's like someone
is holding a direction book constructed from culling old
Claremont/Byrne X-Men issues. Tough-guy father; paranoid military;
all-powerful sorcerers; people biting the big one around every bend;
good art (admittedly). Makes one appreciate Chris a bit more...
However, it is fun to read; it just leaves the taste of other memories
in my mouth.
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NEIL THE HORSE #10 [B-]:
Along with JOURNEY, there is something so wonderfully home-made and
quality-minded about NEIL THE HORSE that I doubt a bad review will ever
slip from my lips. Let me say, instead, that you will doubtlessly
enjoy the Conan take-off (the Lovecraft gods are a scream); the backup
features are fun, especially Gaston Piston ("Strong men blench! Women
scream! Children vomit!"); and for some unknown reason, I could stare
at the cover for hours.
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SWAMP THING #35 [A-]:
Hey, kids, wanna see something REALLY scary? It's been a while since
I've read something scary enough to keep me up nights, but if anyone
could do it, Alan Moore and Steve Bissette are the men to do it.
I don't know if Moore planned on having social comment, or if he just
thought "what's going on in Real Life that's scary enough -- and REAL
enough -- to really have you shaking?", and came up with ecological
pollution. Their beautiful imagery of the swamp only makes the stark
nature of the contamination more obvious. And the scene where The
Swamp Thing awakes, and has the opportunity to dismiss it all as a
dream, but doesn't -- this is a scene which I must go through many
times each year: for nuclear war, for disease, for any number of
things. But I fall back on the old, reliable "It was only a dream"
quite a bit, and in doing so, wonder... how much longer? Brrrrr....
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SUPERGIRL #16 (Ambush Bug) [D]:
Non-Giffen, Non-Fleming AB -- hence, non-funny. A standard DC story...
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DC PRESENTS #81 (Ambush Bug) [B+]:
Possibly the best satire ever seen in a DC comic. Giffen and Fleming
get this thing working on so many levels: dialogue, references to DC,
slapstick -- there are panels which are just stinking ridiculous if you
skip the captions and look at the art. And the dialogue looks like it
was intertwined with the art with a jewelsmith's tools; single
sentences just rattle off beautifully. I bet Julie Schwartz is
enjoying himself with this....
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AV IN 3D #1 [B, overall]:
3D Comics have been a bit of a novelty for a while, and while they are
still used as such by the industry in general, AV seems to have found
several people who can use it in ways constructive to storytelling and
comics in general. While several of the stories -- Ms. Tree, normalman
and Flaming Carrot (though the latter uses some, uh, interesting
ideas for those of us of the male gender) -- use the 3D pretty much at
random (normalman uses it TOO much), the Neil the Horse story uses it
to aid the tempo of the plot (going inside a comic book). The Journey
story does the best job using 3D as a story aid... Messner-Loebs uses
the art to lead the eye to a point of interest in the scene (like a
camera). As to the Cerebus story, it is ALL 3D, exploiting the medium
by doing a long dream sequence which is real, uh, spacey. All the
stories themselves reflect the general quality of the respective books,
i.e. the Neil the Horse and Journey stories are outstanding, and the
others pretty ordinary.
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BATMAN & THE OUTSIDERS #20 [C-]:
Jim Aparo is leaving with this issue, and I don't think there is
another artist who can bring out such sympathetic characters simply
through his art. And this book needs it, as Barr treats the book with
the continuity of a slot machine. I suspect this will be the last good
issue for a while (and even the story has flaws). I think that Aparo
is probably one of the finest and most underated artists working
today... I hope he is given a project which can use his abilities to
their fullest.
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CROSSFIRE #7 [C+]:
Seven issues of this already? Time does go by fast when you're
enjoying yourself. This mag is apparently Evanier's favorite, and it
shows... I almost feel like it has a 60's TV show feeling, which I
don't mind at all, as the script is brought off so well. I've seen the
story dozens of times before (Micky Spillane, et. al.), but Spiegle and
Evanier really make you feel a bit for poor ol' Dave, even though we've
seen him in sixteen hundred other stories.
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(the infamous) X-MEN #193 [C+]:
Well, yah, it's not up to standards of 5 (or even 3) years ago, but
heck, it's not the plague... I particularly liked the Nimrod hunter
(at the end of the story) trying to figure out if Mutant Extermination
was the thing to do in THIS period. Nimrod must be a little more
affectionate than the normal computer, considering that he's helping
Tomas with his homework. And I like seeing these background characters
Claremont does so well. I suspect the X-Men would be significantly
better if EVERY issue were "giant-size" -- this causes Claremont to
crowd things less, and it only contains enough plot for 3 1/2 comics,
instead of the usual six.
Yeah, he crowds stuff; yeah, he has problems. Yeah, it can get
mediocre.
And yeah, I'm going to read his stuff 'till Doomsday....
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POWER PACK #10 [C]:
Standard good issue, but I particularly liked the kids' way of
addressing their powers. I suspect that there are a lot of characters
in the Marvel Universe who could use a pat on the shoulder and somebody
to say "You're not a monster, and we're glad you're here", which is why
Alex's talk to Marinna was such a nice touch.
I just don't want to be the person who has to tell it to The Hulk...
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THE MASKED MAN #1: [C]:
I started off by giving this a low grade due to the fact that it seemed
slow and rather uninvolving for a first issue; but the more I read that
story, the more impressed I am. Look at it this way: being a basically
shy people (I eat Powdermilk Biscuits like any other ex-Minnesotan),
and throwing away the fact that I would never get within three miles of
actual crimefighting (unless it could be done from an armchair and
there was plenty of Cherry Cola around), I would find going against the
current of a huge political gathering almost impossible, and at least
saying anything in the vein of "No" very intimidating ("Suck My
Armpits" would be a bit much ("Ooh, Ick.")). Punching out a bad guy
might very well be less intimidating than telling a public figure, in
front of several thousand people, to take a flying leap; and this is a
nice little acknowledgement of this fact.
Oh, and "Hiram Nash, Private Eye" is a neat one-liner...
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THE SHADOW WAR OF HAWKMAN #1 [D+]:
Hmm... solid adventure material, and I'll definitely get the rest of
the series, but I was expecting somewhat more. I remember some of
Isabella's other work -- his first six (eight?) issues of Black
Lighting were nothing less than marvelous, and his Daredevil work was
also very good (I'm sure I'm leaving something else out that I should
remember him for -- any hints?). And there are touches here: the cat
burglar, the police's relationship with Our Heroes; but I expected
something else, also, which hasn't appeared. However, it was the first
issue, and they have to go over the introductory routines; and maybe
I'm expecting Isabella to be a miracle worker...
At any rate, I can always expect his wonderful strip "Everett True" in
the Comic Buyer's Guide. Last week it was subtitled "Judge Everett
True", and we get to watch Judge True arrest George Jetson, who has
unwittingly strayed into Mega-City One...
ELROY: "Gee! Who are you, mister?"
JUDGE TRUE: "Sonny, I am... THE LAW!"
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KITTY AND WOLVERINE #6 [D-]:
Want to see what bad art can do to a comic? Take a look at this...
Claremont, with the writing in this comic, could have made a pretty
good story. But Al Milgrom's art job is not just lousy... it's
DISASTEROUS! Take a look at Wolverine's Beserker rage; his
shit-eating grin seems more derived from toking joints in the restroom
than maniacal anger. And the final panel... plah! Get thee to a
nunnery! It was poor enough to almost be unintentionally funny.
Put Al back on Fanfare... and LEAVE HIM THERE!
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JOURNEY #16 [B-]:
Art still isn't up to snuff, but you won't find any more fleshed-out
characters anywhere in comics. I don't know why everybody's
complaining about the plot complexity; I haven't had any problems with
it, and it seems pretty simple when you compare it with Time Spirits or
any Marvel "Heavy Continuity" Mag (Wraithwar? WHAT Wraithwar? I don't
see any Wraithwar...)
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TALES OF THE TEEN TITANS #53 & THE NEW TEEN TITANS #7 [C-]:
#1, I'm getting real tired of the kid with wings... seems like he
should be in "Young Romance" or something, pining away or putting his
palm to his forhead, or something. And I'll bet SOMEONE at Sun
Publishing must be noticing the conflict between the figures of people
going into the boss's office and those coming out ("Call in the janitor
AGAIN? Yes, ma'am..."). Geez, everybody in New York is either a God
or a Mutant these days... The Terminator's trial looks to be a great
deal more fun, though, and should prove interesting (just so they don't
send him to Stupid People's Court...)
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TIMESPIRITS #2 [C+]:
A wonderful little book, one which I'm very glad that Epic is
publishing as it (and MOONSHADOW, next) restores my faith that Archie
Goodwin has control over his area, and is continuing his goal of
having good, non-mainstream Marvel stuff in the Epic line. The
characters are extremely enjoyable, and Tom Yeates has struck just the
right balance between the whimsical and the grotesque. Parables are a
particularly unique way of telling a story. Look forward to the boys'
further travels.
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MOONSHADOW #1 [C+]:
How this little wonder ever got by Jim Shooter is beyond me... maybe
Goodwin has a cloaking device around the offices (he borrows it from
Mike Barr, perhaps). First, the art is truly fitting this type of
high-quality printing and paper. It reminds me of very good children's
books, if you can ignore the "adult" language and such thrown in. It
is funny, and very fresh... a more whimsical version of "Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy", perhaps. Ira is hysterical just in the way he
looks -- rather as if he was just booted out of "Sesame Street" for
behavior unbecoming of a Muppet. Looks good, folks...
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MYTH ADVENTURES #4 [C+]:
As I've said before, I don't particularly like the Aspirin books. The
jokes seem labored and too obvious for simply print. What Phil Foglio
has done seems to have been a rebirth of the same material... very
close to the spirit and the plot of the original, but done to the tune
of visual and verbal slapstick, combined into one smooth routine. A
definitely inspired adaptation.
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MS. TREE #13 [F]:
I have about had it with this comic. The first twelve issues of this
mag seemed a bit tongue-in-cheek, and nicely campy. Lately, the tone
has become flamboyant and sleazy, and seems to contain none of the
humor it once had. 3rd-grade Mickey Spillaine I can do without, thank
you, but this... the last page screams Stark Raving Stupid from every
pixel. I'm glad they tinted this in brown... it works as a hint to
what you're reading (no, not chocolate...). Ms. Tree is henceforth On
Probation with me...
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BADGER #5 [C]:
Well, I miss Butler's art, too; but Mike Baron's writing more than
makes up for it. The new artist reminds me a bit of Gil Keane crossed
with Ken Steacy, but given a bit of time, it might grow on me. It's
nice to see somebody in comics who is ALWAYS nutso, and doesn't turn it
on and off like a valve.
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ZOT #7 [B]:
The Comic Which Can Do No Wrong. Hey, even the back-up feature is
grand! Dan Spiegle continues to play whiz-kid artist of the year, and
he and Kurt Busiek create a story which promises to be at least as much
fun as POWER PACK and other kid's comics that have come out. Somehow,
Spiegle's art seems to lend a credibility to magic that few other
artist's do; seems to be almost ordinary to have a grandfather who can
do a little sorcery on the side. I look forward to the next episode,
and don't even resent the Zot adventures being shorter.
Speaking of which: so, you think it's still keeping up its impossibly
high standards? Its sympathetic characters? Its wonderfully weird
plot? Its detailed, zippy art?
Darn! I can't get anything by you people....
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IN BRIEF
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NEXUS #8 [B-]
THOR #354 [C-]: You just have to enjoy Simonsin's Loki... He's a nasty
guy, but he'll be the first to admit it...
SPANNER'S GALAXY [C-]
THE P.I.'s [D]: D as in Dull. Dreadfully Dull. Not Dumb. Just Dull.
2000 AD MONTHLY [C+ for D.R. and Quinch]: What does Alan Moore smoke
to get these stories? And where can I get some?
STAR WARS #94 [C-]: Same fun stuff, tho' the art doesn't send me...
LOVE & ROCKETS #10 [B-]: Aww! Reid Fleming didn't get involved in the
fight! What a gyp. I was expecting him to at LEAST throw a milk truck
at someone (like The Hulk... now THAT's a Marvel Fight I'd pay to
see!).
CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS #2 [C+]: 'Nuff said elsewhere...
A DISTANT SOIL #4 [C]: Good stuff, but they better pick up the pace
soon... this bi-monthly schedule just isn't making it.
THE AVENGERS #255 [C]: No matter the story; it is damn fine to see
John Buscema and Tom Palmer together again. That really takes me
back... now if they'd only let them do some splash panels...
AMERICAN FLAGG! #20 [C]: Isn't political blackmail FUN?!
GROO #3 [D]: The humor is just too obvious for my tastes. Not at all
a bad comic, but even *intentionally* stupid barbarians can't pique my
interest (except in the Neil the Horse story).
JON SABLE, FREELANCE #23 [C-]: I am not finding Grell's (actual)
African adventures to be entertaining, or even informative. Just
rather short and brutal.
DNAgents #17 [D+]: Slipping...
GRIMJACK #10 [C]: Usual fun stuff, but Mundens is Mundane...
CEREBUS #69 [C-]: Now THAT'S funny!
BLUE DEVIL #11 [C-]: A mediocre story, capped by a stylish and funny
ending.
HAROLD HEDD: HITLER'S COCAINE #2 [D-]: Never try to add relevance to
bathroom humor... Not to mention that this is ANOTHER artist who can't
draw sharks correctly! Hmph!
ACTION #566 [D]: With the Capt. Strong character, I was hoping for
something interesting... instead, it seems to be a pastiche of the
movie. Well blow me down...
ECHOS OF FUTURE PASTS #3 [B for Bucky O'Hare]: It's worth it just for
the Golden Art.
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"I don't DESERVE this!! I haven't even KILLED anyone in this issue!"
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
{allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPAciaraldi@rochester.UUCP (Mike Ciaraldi) (02/19/85)
> I doubt the Surfer cares, anyway... However, how does this leave Dr. > Doom? I thought Mephisto was keeping his Mom. Is she free ("Hi, Son! > I'm out on parole!"), or has she been traded to another league -- > Pluto? Satan (as in dad for Son of)? The Surfer might care if it means Shalla Bal isn't going to be bothered any more. Last seen, she was back home again, right? Dr. Doom and Dr. Strange will be teaming up in a graphic novel written by Roger Stern ("The Two Doctors"?, nah!), in which they try to get Mrs. Doom back from Mephisto. At least this was announced at Ithacon, 11 monnths ago. Concerning the Son of Satan, it was established that his father was really Mephisto under one of his alternate manifestations, and the the Big M decided to pose as Satan since the name was already equipped with so many overtones from the Judaeo-Christian use of it. This was revealed during the "Six-Fingered Hand" episodes of The Defenders. Whether there really is a real Satan (i.e. fallen angel) in the Marvel Universe is unclear. The Handbook of the Marvel Universe points out that it is not known where the souls of most people go after death. In general, it is simpler if you only make comics characters out of figures from religions that have a very small number of contemporary followers. Mike Ciaraldi seismo!rochester!ciaraldi