colonel@sunybcs.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) (10/16/85)
Reviewed:
ASTRO THE WONDER CAT THE BEATUPPER SERGEANT DAMN
CAPTAIN BUFFALO WASH YOUR FACE THE AYATOLLAH
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"By George, it's fantastic how the minute these
characters get into a comic book, they start acting in
bad taste!"
--H. Kurtzman, "Poopeye"
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* The RUSTY STAPLE Rating Scale for Comic Books *
* (Adapted from the Movies Rating System of the *
* National Cheese Council) *
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|==>A< A classic, but overpriced. |
|==>B< Clever, but overdone. |
|==>C< Thought-provoking, but dull. |
|==>D< Mindless, but entertaining. |
|==>E< Disgusting, but original. |
|==>F< Teen Romances. |
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ASTRO THE WONDER CAT #7 [C]:
After being told repeatedly that this comic was thought-provoking
but dull, I finally decided to check it out. Was I surprised!
This Yugoslavian import has all the flair of a Yugoslavian animated
feature, with none of its originality. The plot of this one (Astro
battles a Bulgarian blue jeans smuggler) is virtually identical to
that of the classic Hungarian ballet "Vizilo," except for the
addition of Astro's sidekick, Jimpo the dog, a lobotomized and
slightly lunatic version of Buster Brown's dog Tige. Definitely
worth the price, which is in dinars.
THE BEATUPPER #1 [E+]:
This looks like a crossover from another medium: gory novels. In the
premier issue, The Beatupper cripples or kills every other character
(even his girlfriend), often in very picturesque and entertaining
ways. There's a subtle moral aspect to all this violence, too: every
character is guilty of some offense against society, like chewing gum
or not wearing a hat. I hope America's youth will get the message!
Unfortunately, the dialogue is right out of Fantastic Four, circa
1973, and the text is full of misspelled words.
SERGEANT DAMN #336 [C]:
In case you're wondering, they're all still around--Nuts, Gorblimey,
Sacre', Van Rotop, and all the other lovable Nazi-hating GI's in
Sergeant Damn's Company "F." This time Nuts wipes out a whole tank
battalion but is wounded by shrapnel and has to be rescued by the
doughty Sergeant, even though Nuts had dyed all Damn's socks pink
the day before. Lots of action and heroism, reasonably good artwork
by Les Gooch, and you don't have to worry that any of the good guys
will be killed off! (Wallace Wood, where are you?)
CAPTAIN BUFFALO #8 [B+]:
The best thing about "Captain Buffalo" is the villains! Don't talk to
me about Pruneface, or Dr. Octopus, or Gen. Shrapp, or, uh, ... Gelving
Shavinsky? This issue (appropriately for October) introduces Chris-
topher Crosstownbus, a mad navigator who tries to scuttle Captain
Buffalo's entry into pop music. Not a bad idea, come to think of it.
"You saved my life, Captain Buffalo! Have a CIGAR!"
WASH YOUR FACE [E-]
This should teach me not to be taken in by drawings of sexy women on
the cover. It's by the same outfit that did "Brush Your Teeth!" The
difference is that where Brush Your Teeth was merely repulsive, Wash
Your Face is downright emetic. Imagine the same classic drawing style,
careful inking, and beautiful six-color printing that "Brush Your Teeth"
used to illustrate tooth decay, used for close-ups and cross-sections
of blackheads and pimples! There's an awful lot of talent going to
waste here, and I can't help wondering whether some Satanist conspiracy
like Procter & Gamble is behind it.
THE AYATOLLAH #1 [B-]:
Normally comic books don't get any closer to religion than, say, "Dr.
Strange." But if Ayatollah Khomeini wants to be a super-hero, I suppose
he ought to make a more realistic one than, say, Spider-Man. This new
effort by Desaad and Jihad is commendably patriotic (towards Iran),
with lots of Persian carpets and oil derricks in the scenery, and the
Ayatollah himself comes across as a sort of He-Man with morality. The
last two pages are filled up by a humorous feature portraying the late
Shah as something between Soglow's "Little King" and Julius Caesar in
"Asterix." It's all done very tastefully and intelligently, perhaps too
much so.
"Are you Rusty Staple's secret identity?"
"We're sorry, but F. K. Dingy & Sons is closed. Please
leave your name at the sound of the tone ..."
--
Col. G. L. Sicherman
UU: ...{rocksvax|decvax}!sunybcs!colonel
CS: colonel@buffalo-cs
BI: csdsicher@sunyabvamoriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (10/21/85)
In article <2401@sunybcs.UUCP> colonel@sunybcs.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) writes: >THE AYATOLLAH #1 [B-]: > >Normally comic books don't get any closer to religion than, say, "Dr. >Strange." But if Ayatollah Khomeini wants to be a super-hero, I suppose >he ought to make a more realistic one than, say, Spider-Man. This new >effort by Desaad and Jihad is commendably patriotic (towards Iran), >with lots of Persian carpets and oil derricks in the scenery, and the >Ayatollah himself comes across as a sort of He-Man with morality. The >last two pages are filled up by a humorous feature portraying the late >Shah as something between Soglow's "Little King" and Julius Caesar in >"Asterix." It's all done very tastefully and intelligently, perhaps too >much so. I have to disagree with the Col. on this one. While I found the Ayatollah's origin original (hah!) and the source of his powers intriguing (he goes out and buys them from Macys), and though the dialogue is certainly well-researched ("Well, Ayatollah, it appears you're no match for my Religious Right!" "Wrong, capitalist Satan-breath! Your intelligence ray, which has increased the IQ's of my followers by over 200% and brain-washed them into thinking they might like to do something other than run into gunfire screaming, can't run without crude oil!" "Gosh, you're right. We give up."), it can't make up for the artwork, which is done by Don Heck. But this is my opinion, and just because the Col. and I don't see eye-to-eye does not mean that he's a mean-spirited little gutter snipe. Oh, Damn, I did it again! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... [sound of head being hit with mortar board] "While not a master of intellect, the blatantly obvious things WE often take for granted never escape HIS keen eye!" "Horse." Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA UUCP: {uw-beaver, sun, allegra, sb6, lbl-csam}!fluke!moriarty <*> DISCLAIMER: Do what you want with me, but leave my employers alone! <*>