colonel@sunybcs.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) (11/08/85)
And now ... the makers of DINGY, the washtub detergent that's "nice
to your hands, but murder on clothes," present
* R U S T Y S T A P L E *
This time Rusty reviews
CRISIS ON INFINITE HARVEYS DARKSEID JR. MARSHMALLOW FLUFF
MAD CARTOONISTS' GUILD IT'S A POTATO TALES OF THE COMPUTER AGE
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"By George, it's fantastic how the minute these characters
get into a comic book, they start acting in bad taste!"
--H. Kurtzman, "Poopeye"
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* The RUSTY STAPLE Rating Scale for Comic Books *
* (A shameless rip-off of the Rating System of *
* the National Railway Bridge Administration) *
****************************************************
|::>A< A classic, but overpriced. |
|::>B< Clever, but overdone. |
|::>C< Thought-provoking, but dull. |
|::>D< Mindless, but entertaining. |
|::>E< Disgusting, but original. |
|::>F< Teen Romances. |
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CRISIS ON INFINITE HARVEYS #12 [B]:
By any standard, this is one of the saddest issues in the whole
series. Oh, we all knew that somebody was going to bite the dust this
issue, at least if you could believe the Comic Book Guide, and you
probably made your own predictions. Somehow, though, that only makes
it worse to find out. Why did they have to terminate Baby Huey?? I
cried for 45 minutes over this one, and I'm not over it yet. I was so
sure it was going to be Spooky, but as Little Dot explains, "you can't
kill a ghost!"
In other developments, Herman is sent to investigate reports of an
invasion of Bizarro Katnips, Little Lotta gets a new uniform, and
Richie Rich gets into a proxy fight with John DeLorean for control
of Manufacturers Hanover.
DARKSEID JR. #4 [C]:
Can the son of Great Darkseid find his own identity in the poshest
prep school on Apokolips? Probably not, is my guess. In this issue
the Little D. gets into a personality clash with his mutation teacher
and finds that there are some things power can't buy. Confidentially,
I don't have much hope for this teen-oriented spin-off, although
there's a touching scene between Darkseid Jr. and his mom, revealing
a tender side of Granny Goodness that we haven't seen before.
MARSHMALLOW FLUFF #3 [D]:
Netnews readers will remember Marshmallow Fluff as a pasty-faced old
woman who invents cutesy characters for greeting-card corporations.
While I don't normally pick up kiddie comics, this seemed too good
to pass up. More accurately, it's too bad to pass up! Commercially,
Humpback Hobbly and her camel Wobbly were a total failure; but here
they are again, saving Pumpkin Pie from the designs of a villainous-
looking Strawberry Shortcake by pushing her down a well. The char-
acter of Pumpkin Pie is drawn repulsively but faithfully; he seems
to spend most of his time in front of the TV set. I would have pushed
him down the well instead! Oh, well, it's only a comic book.
MAD CARTOONISTS' GUILD #4 [B-]:
I somehow missed issue #3. That's not surprising, since this local
effort appears roughly whenever the full moon falls on a rainy Thurs-
day, but I still enjoy seeing what local talent can do. This issue is
highly zoological, with Pat Downs's "The RAT" (proving that brevity may
be the soul of wit, but sometimes it needs more body), Jordan
Levinson's "The Poodle" (how can a comic can be so lunatic and so
mellow at the same time?), and Jimi Gulsen's "Da Frog" (Ronald Reagan
gets the worst of it again). Also various silly things by Joseph
Thiel, Kie' Lakato, and Len Cool. Cool is the worst draftsman of the
lot, but where else could you encounter Pre-Moistened Blotting Paper?
"I AM, of course, a symbol of compassion and THE ESSENCE
OF EMOTIONAL STABILITY. ... I LOVE YOU."
IT'S A POTATO [B+]
_It's a Potato_ is still great stuff, though you may remember that I
gave it an "A" in RSR #1. It's just that I don't think George Gately
is the right inker for this very innovative book. I don't know much
about production, but Kartoffel's block printing ought to be able to
stand on its own merit. On the positive side, it's good to see that
they're not neglecting the character development of Mrs. Potato Head.
The soliloquy about mealworms is a very realistic touch.
TALES OF THE COMPUTER AGE #9 [C]:
Sometimes a joint effort can be very rewarding, and sometimes it's just
confusing (remember _Tales of the Unexpected?_). TOTCA has elements of
both. The first story is a rather predictable occult tale about a
power failure at DEC's main laboratory. The DECVAX inexplicably
regenerates itself with no outside help, but one DEC engineer after
another is mysteriously killed while trying to change a light bulb.
Then comes "Black is White," a time-travel story about a scientist
who tries to go back to W. W. II to prevent the Jews from being killed,
but instead enters a parallel universe where Hitler is Black. Stale
old plot, but nice drawing by Ken Art.
The last story is a flashback about the Free Agents. One day Ptorek
conjectures that the Agents are all just programs running on some
computer. This idea troubles them so much that they start on a
pilgrimage to consult the Rose of Reason. After a lot of horrible (and
dull) adventures, they finally reach the Rose of Reason, which assures
them that they are not programs on some computer, but abstract algo-
rithms in a book by Dijkstra. As a token of good faith the Rose of
Reason gives them a dog, and thus the discipline of Dog Science is
born.
"Mr. Staple, you could take this $1,000,000 and live a life
of LUXURY and DISSIPATION!"
"Mr. ______, you can take that $1,000,000 back to your
employers and tell them RUSTY STAPLE IS NOT FOR SALE!"
--
Col. G. L. Sicherman
UU: ...{rocksvax|decvax}!sunybcs!colonel
CS: colonel@buffalo-cs
BI: csdsicher@sunyabva