[net.garden] Electronic grains

jfp@emory.UUCP (09/09/83)

I'm not sure who's responsible(??) for the original of this-
I have it at least third hand.


                        ELECTRONIC GRAINS

The Vegetable Computer was invented in 1842 by Charles  Cab-
bage,  regarded  by many as the father of the field. Cabbage
called his computer the Agricultural Engine. Modern versions
consist  of rose and rose of integrated carrots connected to
a flower supply by a maize  of  wires.  Input  is  from  pea
switches,  yard  weeder  and  tell-he's-ripe. A hayseed vine
printer may be used to generate hard coffee, while a  veget-
able  display  unit  supports  interactive  composting. Main
memory consists  of  interleaved  beet-addressable  magnetic
corn.  Secondary  store  consists  of plough discs and grape
drives. All peripherals are daisy chained.

     A later version of the Agricultural Engine was known as
the  AR-16  (after Agricultural Revolution). It was based on
the sack discipline, first perfected by the Barrow  Combine,
and  sprouted  a  high-swede paper tape reaper for the first
lime.

     Early computer consumed large amounts  of  power.  Many
required  their  own  electric spud-station to seed them and
had to overcome the problem of providing  adequate  lentila-
tion.  Such problems caused many a furrowed brow in the pas-
ture and we cannot expect to  avoid  harrowing  days  ahead.
However,  the  many  fertile minds that constitute the rate-
of-the-cart computer technology cannot fail to  produce  the
harvest  of  the  future, particulary with the bloom of very
large scale irrigation.  Artificial  pollination  techniques
grafted  on  to  parallel  earthworks will soon be producing
computers proudly proclaiming "I think,  therefore  I  yam".
All chokoes aside, we can look beyond the melon-cauli thymes
through the winnow of the ears till the  salad  days  ahead.
Lettuce  advance to the world of two marrows. To those reac-
tionaries who would turn back the docks we say,  "hoe!  hoe!
hoe!".

                          Herb and Russel Sprout,
                          Rice Presidents,
                          Assocn. for Cultivating Machinery

-----------------
John Pedersen.  {sb1,akgua}!emory!jfp
Emory University, Atlanta.