jnw@uvacs.UUCP (05/01/84)
<Joe Bike doesn't believe that this line is necessary>
Joe Bike V2#1
"In which Joe Bike rails about Toe Clips and Straps"
Joe Bike's ears have been offended by the recent abuse of bike jargon
that has recently swept the net.bicycle newsgroup. Now, I'll admit that I'm
bein' somewhat pedantic, but I just can't stand to hear all this claptrap
about toe "TRAPS." Every homeowner knows that a toe trap is what you put on
your floor behind the Frigidaire(TM) to catch all those toes that run
around the house at night chewin' holes in your walls and eatin' cereal from
out of the bottom of the box.
On the subject of toe clips and straps though --
Joe Bike has been ridin' for a long time and he knows a lot of the
special secrets that only the few are privy to, such as exactly how much
heat to apply to the peanut butter when breakin' in your Brooks saddle.
He also knows that toe clips and straps are USED BY EVERY REAL BIKIE
AT ALL TIMES! Welllll, leastwise when you're on your bike.
These little devices are the second most wonderful invention known to
man. (You Evelyn Rainbird catalog owners know what the most wonderful one
is.) What do these little tootsie torture chambers do for ya'? They keep
your feet on the pedals and keep you pedalin' in circles. They don't do
you a blamed bit o good if you don't tighten 'em down. Now I don't mean
you have tighten 'em till your toes turn blue, but you want 'em tight
enough so that you have to yank -- HARD -- to pull your foot out.
Now every once in a while I see a greenhorn pushin' a 200 inch gear,
arches of both feet planted firmly on the bottoms of his pedals, toe clips
scrapin' the ground with every revolution ("SCREEK-SCREEK-SCREEK"). I used
to figure it was my civic duty to explain how these noisemakers should be
used correctly. But I figgered out that these non-bikie types don't care
about how they can improve their ridin' style. They figger, "I learned
to ride a bike when I was seven. I mean, you never forget how to do that."
Well, I say leave 'em alone. Ignore 'em best as possible. You can wince
when you see 'em makin' some bozo move, but don't try to correct 'em cuz
IT WON'T WORK!
A word about SAFETY --- Anyone who thinks that havin' your feet strapped
on the pedals is unsafe is WRONG-O. How fast can you do anything to keep
yourself safe by pullin' your feet off the pedals? Well if you're like me,
then the fastest you can do that is about 5 mph. Any faster, and you'll
probably break your leg tryin' to stop yourself. You can loosen correctly
installed toe straps with one flick of the index finger (takes about 1/2
second).
The first week you try ridin' with your feet strapped in is a just a
mite hairy. I'll admit it takes about one good topple at a red light to
remember that you have your feet strapped in (look around like an
embarrassed cat to see if anyone saw you fall). The only bruise you'll get
will be to your ego though. After that, no problem. If you're willin' to
risk that one topple at 0 mph, then you're ready for the big time. Fame
and glory can be yours. You too can become a real bikie.
Joe Bike
Charlottesville, Virginia
USENET: ...uvacs!jnw CSNET: jnw@uvacs ARPANET: jnw.uvacs@csnet-relaygrt@hocda.UUCP (G.TOMASEVICH) (05/03/84)
Concerning toe traps, I have stepped in mine under the edge of the sink, but they caught a lot of 4-legged toes lately, so they stay there. Anyway, as I pointed out to someone by mail, the legs are a large part of the weight of the human body, and it is bad for the feet to come off the pedals and cause all that weight to flail around while you are going fast. That alone is reason to keep strapped in. I did an Artie Johnson dismount the first time I used cleats, but I would not give them up now. I used clips and straps without cleats years before getting cleats. Some people think that one should do some riding without cleats first, in order to find the right place to position the cleats on the shoe. The pedals make a mark on the shoes where the cleats are to be mounted. I have a flame about the shoes some people ride in: They should not have soft soles, but should be good and stiff so that the feet do not flex them during hard pedaling. In the winter I have used sneakers on platform pedals with clips and straps, but that is for warmth. George Tomasevich, AT&T Bell Laboratories
jeff@dual.UUCP (Jeff Houston) (05/04/84)
Three Cheers for Joe Bike!
I think everyone out in net land who called TOE CLIPS toe traps should have
their wrists slapped.
To Joe Bike : I'd like to submit a challenge to see who can do a track-stand
longer at some designated red-light somewhere between where you are and good
old California. Hot dog, its racing season again, where is my USCF license
anyway???
Jeff Houston
Dual Systems Corp., Berkeley, CA
{ucbvax,ihnp4,cbosgd,amd70,zehntel,fortune,decwrl}!dual!jeff