jnw@uf-csv.UUCP (Joe Bike) (09/10/84)
[In which Boe Bike squashes a bug with his bare terminal] Joe Bike V2#4 Nine Chains to the Bike Shop Way back in Nineteen-hundred-and-something-or-other when Joe Bike bought his first cruise bicycle, he rode it for many many zillions of miles over all manner of terrain. This bicycle was quite experienced in the art of travelling, BUT, this bicycle was quite neglected when it came to the art of cleanliness. Joe Bike rode this machine to the point where his favorite gear went Ka-CHUNK and skipped about three times per pedal stroke. Bein' somewhat good at cipherin', Joe Bike figgered that the problem was one of the freewheel teeth. He ran down to the bike store where he had bought the machine (the first time he'd been there since the 30 day check-up) and asked firendly ole Gary the mechanic what to do. Well friendly ole Gray told him that freewheel was wore out and he'd have to get a new one. Gary explained all about gear numbers, showed Joe Bike a gear chart and told him to go home and reckon on it a while and come back when he knew what he wanted. Well Joe Bike Ka-CHUNK Ka-CHUNKed home and sat up all night with a hand calculator figgerin' what gear numbers he wanted. Joe Bike eventually bought a new freewheel and chain. Freindly ole Gary was glad to sell this stuff to Joe Bike and he reminded Joe Bike that he probably needed to clean his chain periodically, so he sold him a chain remover tool ta boot. Joe Bike was now in hog heaven. He had a wonderful clean new drive train and could ride to his heart's content. Well, Joe bike did ride to his heart's content about 1000 miles worth before he noticed his chain was REEEEL dirty. Joe Bike proceeded to clean the chain and much to his dismay his chain would now go "grind lumpa lumpa grind lumpa lumpa" all the time he was pedallin' down the road. He went back to ole mechanic Gary who showed Joe Bike with a ruler how now his chain had "stretched" (Joe Bike later found out this was not the truth, it had lengthened from wear). Joe Bike said "I don't understand. Wha'd I do wrong?" Gary told him he needed to clean the chain more often or it would stretch and wear out the freewheel, just like the old one. He told Joe Bike he should clean his freewheel too and was glad to sell Joe Bike a freewheel tool. Well for a period of about 8 years Joe Bike was a fanatic chain cleaner. He would clean his chain religiously within 300 miles of use. Always using mineral spirits (cheap in the area where Joe Bike lived) and lubricating with a wonderful product (which friendly Gary sold) known as Chain Life. Several years later Joe Bike switched and started using Bull Shot Super Lubricant (which he uses to this day). Joe Bike calmed down about regular chain cleaning, but still likes to keep a nice clean chain on his bike. While living in the beautiful hills of Virginia, Joe Bike cleaned his chain with Varsol (a popular solvent in the Charlottesville area). Many times people have asked Joe Bike what to clean their chains with and Joe Bike usually tells 'em to use whatever cheap solvent they can get in bulk at their favorite hardware store. Joe Bike has never needed to warn people against using gasoline 'cuase the people he knows were taught the proper safety habits by their parents when they was young'uns. Joe Bike has told people of the Fred (BeWrong) DeLong method of parafin chain lubing. Joe Bike considers this to be the ultimate in good chain lubing but not worth the trouble. Joe Bike usually has a big supply of extra Sedis-Sport chains he got on sale from Bike (Who**house) Nashbar. He distributes these to those in need who don't know about cheap mailorder chains. Some people want to use WD40 for chain lube. Joe bike used to use that before he got a good bike, but he knows that WD40 just don't lubricate too well. It penetrates so dang good it keeps on penetratin' it's own lubrication out. You wouldn't lube your chain with mineral spirits now would you? Joe Bike won't use motor oil on a chain because he knows what it felt like to use motor oil on his chain one day when he stopped at a gas station because he just couldn't stand that "skweek skweek" no more. Lots of people have all kindsa cock-eyed ideas when it comes to bike maintenance. Some people actually think it's worth buyin' a Phil Wood (rest his soul) freewheel lube job machine and sticking that remarkable green grease into it. Well, Joe Bike just can't see it. He uses motor oil to lube his freewheel and cleans it whenever he cleans the chain. If you don't clean the whole shebang, you might as well not clean any of it. But the most important thing Joe Bike can pass along is as good a maxim for life as it is for bicyclin'. That is: Keep it Clean. And if ya can't keep it clean, keep it lubricated. Joe Bike Gainesville Florida use: ...akgua!uf-csv!jnw cs: jnw@ufl This is a new address for Joe Bike, so update your records.