mp@allegra.UUCP (Mark Plotnick) (07/27/85)
>From: John McCluskey <MCCLUSKEY@JPL-VLSI.ARPA> >To: info-cobol@mit-mc.arpa What follows is the EXACT wording of real(?) advertisement. Does anyone know what magazine this came from? ------- THE GUY ON THE RIGHT DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE. The guy on the right has the OSBORNE 1, a fully functional computer system in a portable package the size of a briefcase. The guy on the left has an UZI submachine gun concealed in his attache case. Also in the case are four fully-loaded 32 round clips of 125 grain 9 mm. ammunition. The owner of the UZI is going to get more tactical firepower delivered - and delivered on target - in less time, and with less effort. Unfold it, cock it, and go to war like you've never gone before... Go to war with the UZI. With its enclosed barrel and open-bolt firing mechanism, the UZI delivers a muzzle velocity of 1100 to 1350 feet per second, depending on type of ammunition used. And if you need SOFTWARE, slip on the available suppressor, use subsonic ammo, and you've got real power - quiet, but effective. At up to 500 rounds per minute. Go to war with the rugged, effective aperture sights. They're protected from random blows by solid steel shrouds, yet instantly adjust from 100 to 200 meter ranges. Even held in assault position, the UZI practically points itself at the target, due to its advanced ergonomic engineering. Go to war with the rugged design that's made UZI the choice of major western and third-world armies. The reliability that led the Secret Service to adopt it for its work in protecting the President of the United States. And which today, and every day, finds it guarding civilians in the deserts of Israel. Go to it: at the office, at home, or in the field. Or anywhere. Options include a spotting scope, bayonet, sight adjusting tool, and magazine loading aid. The UZI will function perfectly with virtually any 9 mm. ammo designed for the NATO alliance - even surplus. And it's portable at just under 4 kg. That's good, because you won't want to fight again without it. All for $795. It's inevitable. The UZI is the submachine gun that's changing the way people fight. Put simply, the weapon delivers a significant edge - day in and day out - to virtually anyone who deals with criminals or terrorists. Or both. A Competitive Analysis. If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 - or any personal computer - he's the one that's in trouble. One round from an UZI can zip through 10 inches of solid pine wood, so you can imagine what it will do to structural foam, acrylic, and sheet aluminum. In fact, detachable magazines for the UZI are available in 25, 32, and 40 round capacities, so you take out an entire office full of Apple II or IBM Personal Computers tied into Ethernet or other local area network. What about the newer 16 bit computers, like the Lisa, and Fortune? Even with Winchester backup, they're no match for the UZI. One quick burst and they'll find out what UNIX means. Make your commanding officer proud. Get an UZI - and come home a winner in the fight for office automatic weapons. +--------------------------------------------+ |The UZI includes a carrying sling, detailed| |owners manual, folding paratrooper stock,| |dual safeties, and removable barrel. The| |UZI system is available from small arms| |dealers worldwide. In the US, law-abiding| |citizens with clean records might qualify to| |purchase the semi-automatic carbine version| |with 16.1 inch barrel. Criminals, however,| |get to use whatever the hell they want. | +--------------------------------------------+ I S R A E L M I L I T A R Y I N D U S T R I E S Export Division, P.O. Box 1044 Ramat Hasharon 47100, Israel Phone (03) 4892222 Telex: 33719 Circle Number 52 on Reader Service Card. ------
larry@nsc.UUCP (Larry Blanchard) (07/29/85)
In article <4828@allegra.UUCP> mp@allegra.UUCP (Mark Plotnick) writes: >>To: info-cobol@mit-mc.arpa > >What follows is the EXACT wording of real(?) advertisement. >Does anyone know what magazine this came from? > > THE GUY ON THE RIGHT DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE. > >The guy on the right has the OSBORNE 1, a fully functional computer >system in a portable package the size of a briefcase. The guy on the >left has an UZI submachine gun concealed in his attache case. Also in >the case are four fully-loaded 32 round clips of 125 grain 9 mm. >ammunition. > The ad was in the Boy Scouts Handbook. Just after the "You can even eat Road Tar and survive" chapter. 1985 edition. -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- All the worlds a stage, And it leaves in 10 minutes. Larry Blanchard National Semiconductor Sunnyvale, Califiornia {cbosgd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!larry nsc!larry@decwrl.ARPA
david@infopro.UUCP (David Fiedler) (07/31/85)
This ad was originally intended for "Programmer of Fortune" magazine, the
periodical for the hacker of adventure. Unfortunately, the magazine was
never published due to contractual obligations. The ad itself was
circulated privately and has become a collector's item of sorts, as it is
absolutely indistinguishable from the original Osborne ad, except for
text, of course. It even fooled John Dvorak, "expert" on many subjects,
who devoted one of his InfoWorld columns to it, thinking it had "actually
appeared in one of the munitions magazines". Original prints may become
available in the next few months, depending on demand (this according to
the creator of the original ad); send me requests by email and I can let
you know later if this occurs.
--
Dave Fiedler
{harpo,astrovax,whuxcc,clyde}!infopro!dave People Phone: (201) 989-0570
USMail: InfoPro Systems, 3108 Route 10, Denville, NJ 07834
Caldwell Tower, this is 16 Lima inbound for Runway 4 with information Idiot...