larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman) (08/02/85)
I have just made a startling discovery! After giving some consideration
to the flatus research topics suggested in "The Merck Manual" [see recent
posting net.bizarre], I performed some simple calculations:
Assuming that the average person expels 100 cc @ STP of flatus per day
(which seems to be a reasonable overall average), and assuming a total world
population of 4.5 billion, the daily world flatus output is 450,000,000 liters.
Assuming a specific volume for flatus of 850 cc/gm (based upon a compromise
proportion of its constituents: H2S, CO2, CH3, H2, and NH3, in addition to
aerosolized skatole, indole, tyramine, histamine, cadaverine and putrescine),
this would result in a daily world flatus output of 529 metric tons or
1,167,352 pounds. This is an incredible amount!
No wonder there is air pollution and the world stinks! I have also
just developed a theory that all of this flatus must go somewhere, and there
must exist a hitherto undiscovered layer of the atmosphere which I shall call
the Flatosphere. I am immediately sending a letter to the National Science
Foundation to alert them of this situation, and to obtain a research grant to
pursue this vital topic.
{Is this bizarre, or is this *bizzare* ???}
Larry Lippman
Recognition Research Corp.
Clarence, New York
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"Have you hugged your cat today?"ems@amdahl.UUCP (ems) (08/06/85)
> > I have just made a startling discovery! After giving some consideration > to the flatus research topics suggested in "The Merck Manual" [see recent > posting net.bizarre], I performed some simple calculations: > > Assuming that the average person expels 100 cc @ STP of flatus per day > (which seems to be a reasonable overall average), and assuming a total world > population of 4.5 billion, the daily world flatus output is 450,000,000 liters. > Assuming a specific volume for flatus of 850 cc/gm ... > this would result in a daily world flatus output of 529 metric tons or > 1,167,352 pounds. This is an incredible amount! > Ah, but that is only part of the problem. You see, there are all these cows, pigs, horses, etc. that also make 'flatus'. Cows in particular seem to make massive quantities. And don't forget that pigs are typically fed a mix of corn and soy BEANS! You want to talk pig flatus? Just go see 'Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome'. -- E. Michael Smith ...!{hplabs,ihnp4,amd,nsc}!amdahl!ems This is the obligatory disclaimer of everything. (Including but not limited to: typos, spelling, diction, logic, and nuclear war)