moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (08/06/85)
[Flashbulbs exploding, hordes of reporters milling about...]
Out of the way, you muckrackers! Move it! Official coming through!
[Gunfire]. Thanks, Frank.
Yes, I have here the name of the winner of the MORIARTY SIGNOFF LINE TRIVIA
CONTEST; as mentioned in the previous posting, an ACTUAL LETTER will be
going to this lucky winner! At least as soon as I get the fellow's address.
And the winner is.... allynh@Berkeley.ARPA (Allyn Hardyck)! Allyn, your
letter will be coming to you whenever you send me your US Snail address. I
will not give it to any mail-order catalog stores mailing lists. I think.
Allyn won with FOUR correct guesses out of the ten quotes. Below is the
entire list of quotes with the correct sources:
-----
"You are still dead, then?"
"Oh yeah, hey, totally."
[A dead Peter Whyte to Jack Morrison on St. Elsewhere]
----
"I have no talents. I have genius or nothing. But all genius is
distorted, even my own."
[Nero Wolfe]
----
"You can't go in there!"
"Yes I can. This is America. I can go anywhere I want to."
[The two main characters in Rob Reiner's wonderful _The_Sure_Thing_]
----
"There they are! Dirty Towel-Heads! HEEEEEEY-OOOOH!"
"What are you doing? We're on your side! We're with the U.N.!"
"You-Win, huh? I'll show you what we think of you One-Worlders! Eat
Lead, Bedouin Thugs!"
[The Caped Madman, from the Firesign Theatre movie, J-Men Forever]
----
"Honey, this is GREAT coffee."
[Harrison Ford in _Witness_]
----
"He even looks like God... except his hands are in his pockets."
"They should be, he's got four dead Presidents in 'em."
[Albert Finny and a forgotten actress in _Wolfen_]
----
"Take that, you hostile sons-of-bitches!"
[James Coburn in the finale of _The_President's_Analyst_]
----
"DANGER is my BUSINESS"
[Cool McCool, in his cartoon series of the late 60s]
----
"Do what you want with the girl, but leave me alone!!"
[George Carlin]
----
"Silver bullets MY ASS!"
[A werewolf in _The_Howling_]
----
The infamous runner-up award, instead of going to one of the 11 people who
had only one guess in the entire letter (ouch!), goes to cadovax!bob, who
guessed every one of the quotes wrong -- but his guesses were so incredibly
wrong but well-documented that I am giving him the coveted runner-up award
(as soon as he, too, get's me his US snail address). His guesses are below
for your net.bizarre amusement.
----
"You are still dead, then?"
"Oh yeah, hey, totally."
"Recurring Dreams" 1976, by Albert Mason, p. 175 [Viking Ed.]
----
"I have no talents. I have genius or nothing. But all genius is
distorted, even my own."
"Time of Day, and Then Some" 1979, by E. A. Torliss, anthologized in the
collection "201 Spanish Verbs, and other Short Stories" 1982,
by E. A. Torliss, p. 220 [Carthage]
----
"You can't go in there!"
"Yes I can. This is America. I can go anywhere I want to."
Dialogue between Alex and Julie, in Tom Shepard's one act play, "Coincidences".
----
"There they are! Dirty Towel-Heads! HEEEEEEY-OOOOH!"
"What are you doing? We're on your side! We're with the U.N.!"
"You-Win, huh? I'll show you what we think of you One-Worlders! Eat
Lead, Bedouin Thugs!"
"In Search of the Ancient Temple" 1955, by Wallace Burke, the third installment
in the mystery/adventure serial "Arab Adventures" [Dunhill]
----
"Honey, this is GREAT coffee."
Grant Williams to Jane Peters, in the 1964 British film "Island Magic"
----
"He even looks like God... except his hands are in his pockets."
"They should be, he's got four dead Presidents in 'em."
"Today and Tomorrow" 1972, by M. E. A. Winston, p. 74 [Bluejay Press]
----
"Take that, you hostile sons-of-bitches!"
Ronald Cooper, in the 1977 remake of "Moonlight Invasion"
----
"DANGER is my BUSINESS"
"A Private Citizen" 1959, by Douglas Horn, anthologized in the collection
"Second Chances" 1959, R. Elkins and J. E. Howard, eds. [Anthem]
----
"Do what you want with the girl, but leave me alone!!"
Russell Green (in title role) to captors, in the television series "Drake"
(1974, Orbit Productions)
----
"Silver bullets MY ASS!"
Lyrics to the chorus of "Get Out of Here!" (1983 Dog Star Music [ASCAP]),
by the group "Plague"
----------------
Wrong, just amazingly wrong. Get outta here, y'all....
"Happily, I read English."
(Draws sword) "Then read it happily"
He's hard as rock, tough as nails, dense as concrete.
He's...
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsri}!uw-beaver \
{allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA