walt_sak@proper.UUCP (Walt Sakai) (08/05/85)
"Good morning, Ms. Kanoe and Mr. Kayak...." =========================================================== @FAXS twenty-tw yea ol ma wit hol i hi forehea walke int th Lindon Ohio polic headquarter an requeste a X-ra i orde t locat hi brain Th unidentifie ma ha inserte si inche o wir throug hol int hi skul i a attemp t fin hi brain bu ha failed H tol polic tha h mad th hol wit powe drill (Columbu Dispatch) Accordin t th Drug-Industr publicatio 'APHARMAC WEEKLY' federa appeal cour ordere th FD t determin whethe drug propose fo us i Lethal-Injectio execution ar "saf an effective." Honolul Tax drive Gi Gilbertso pai $340.0 fo newspape a t celebrat hi sixty-fift birthda o Decembe First Th a read "B God mad it! Mr Gilbertso neve sa hi ad however becaus h die o hear attac wee befor i ran Seventy-Six-Year-Ol Russel Berkle o Haze Park California sue fo injurie sustaine whe hi testicle wer sucke int th drai o hospita whirlpoo bath (Oaklan Press) Whe Britis Airway Boein 73 airline i Sydney Australia faile t start mechanic ha t dismantl th starte assembly Insid the foun pai o frill woman' panties "W don' kno whos pantie the were, sai a airline spokesman "bu w d kno i cos 20,00 pound t fix. (Sydne Mornin Herald) Dockworke Joh Kell trie t fl acros th Rive Boyn i Count Louth Ireland b jumpin fro hig ram wit tw turkey strappe t hi arms Afte fallin int th river Kell sai h woul tr agai usin fou turkeys (CP) Accordin t Sa Francisc Police fifty-two-year-ol woma whos hom wa burglarize foun he stole possession returne wit th followin note "Dea Occupants Neve i m year o robbin hav com acros som shi lik this That' wh I' deliverin thi jun t you return P.S I ha no bee m pleasur servin you. (Sa Francisc Examiner) Afte a eleven-yea cour battle th Aetn Insuranc Compan reimburse th Wackenhu Securit Servic $230,00 tha Wackenhu wa force t pa t ma whos colo wa damage b Wackenhu securit guard Th guard Cuba refuge wh spok n English wa workin a a Eagl Famil Discoun Stor i Miami Florida i 197 whe h notice bulg unde shopper' shirt Despit th shopper' desperat protests th guar reache insid th man' shir an pulle ou hi colostom bag (St Petersbur Times) Polic i Lancaster Pennsylvania arreste twenty-seven-year-ol Dougla Alexander who the foun hidin i th foo freeze o grocer store Alexande ha reportedl bee i fron o th stor bouncin basketbal of th head o passin women (Lancaste Sunda News)
johnc@shark.UUCP (John Crown) (08/10/85)
In article <179@proper.UUCP> walt_sak@proper.UUCP (walt_sak) writes: (word-final letters restored for sake of readability): >A twenty-two year old man with a hole in his forehead walked into >the Lindon, Ohio police headquarters and requested an X-ray in >order to locate his brain. The unidentified man had inserted six >inches of wire through a hole into his skull in an attempt to >find his brains but had failed. He told police that he made the >hole with a power drill (Columbu Dispatch) Reminds me of a very similar story I heard several years ago: A man attempted to commit suicide with an electric drill. He applied the drill to his head, and managed to penetrate his skull six times. The man survived, however--it seems he never hit a vital organ. \ | / jc ===