mancello@acf4.UUCP (Dominic Mancello) (08/10/85)
A new man-made element has been produced. It is called Unixidium, named after the venerable operating system. It is produced by fusing 2 helium neclei and 3 Unix kernals (hence the name of the new element). What it's potential uses are is unknown at this point, but we do know that trying to fuse 3 nucleis of Unixidium and 2 isotopes of radon will cause the kernals to explode. What is interesting with this fusion is that more energy is released than consumed. Perhaps this is our future energy source?
paul@unisoft.UUCP (Paul Campbell) (08/11/85)
<oog> > What it's > potential uses are is unknown at this point, but we do know that trying > to fuse 3 nucleis of Unixidium and 2 isotopes of radon will cause the > kernals to explode. Hah! popkorn ...... Paul Campbell ..!ucbvax!unisoft!paul
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/12/85)
> From: mancello@acf4.UUCP (Dominic Mancello) > Newsgroups: net.bizarre > Subject: New Element Produced!!! > > A new man-made element has been produced. It is called > Unixidium, named after the venerable operating system. It is > produced by fusing 2 helium neclei and 3 Unix kernals (hence > the name of the new element). What it's potential uses are > is unknown at this point, but we do know that trying to fuse > 3 nucleis of Unixidium and 2 isotopes of radon will cause the > kernals to explode. What is interesting with this fusion is > that more energy is released than consumed. Perhaps this is > our future energy source? This principle was dicovered hundreds of years ago by the American Indians, who learned to cross-breed the corn plant with primitive IBM operating systems, and fertilize the new plant with dead fish. The result was, as we all know, popcorn. The operating system kernels in use at the time, being so primitive, would explode at tempeatures low enough to be reached in an ordinary campfire, puffing out the corn kernel. Modern operating systems such as Unix are much more resilient, and require a much higher temperature to explode, so if anyone attempts to produce unix-based popcorn, it would porobably need to be popped in a nuclear reactor. Furthermore, the Unix kernal would need to be written so that it wouldn't reboot, to prevent the corn form unpopping itself. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred