[net.bizarre] Houses near the Airport

kumpf@daemen.UUCP (Chumley J. Walrus) (08/07/85)

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           I don't know if anyone has suggested this before, but why don't 
 they give the houses near the airports to the deaf people. It seems that 
 everyone I know that lives near the Buffalo Airport complains about the noise.

           If we gave the deaf people those houses, they wouldn't complain 
 because they couldn't hear the planes.

 
 Also, I feel that sex and computers/electronics are interchangable:

    Here is a list of the following:

   'Oh what a big transducer you have'

   'OH OH OH I'm gunna core dump'

   'What a fine pair of hard disks you have'

   'Fondle my floppies'

   'Let me fondle your bits and reset your parity'

   'Do you mind if we switch users'

   'I come here expecting sex, and you give me a stopped job'

   'Its so small, you can't even bring it to the foreground!'

   'What size is yours, 8 inch or 5 1/4 ?'

   'Not tonight, I have a soft error'
  
   'What a hard error you have'

   'We can't interface, our modes are wrong'

   'I can't even get it up after a shutdown/reboot'
  
   'I can't even get it up to multi-user'

   'Oh no,it's falling back to single-user'

   'Just as I was about to core dump, my wife logged me out'

   'Whats your sign ..... rwx------'

   'Do you byte? No I nibble'

   'What a large RAM you have''

   'Lets crosslink devices'
 
   'My head seized and I was stuck in her device all night'

     
        Anymore you can think of??????????


                         Chumley J.
-- 


******************************************************************************
Present Address:          15 Liberty Terrace
Town,State,Zip Code:      Cheektowaga,New York,14215  
Phone:                    (716) 836-0203
UUCP:                     sunybcs!daemen!kumpf
ARPA:                     kumpf%daemen.uucp@buffalo.CSNET@csnet-relay
******************************************************************************

ables@mcc-db.UUCP (King Ables) (08/08/85)

>          I don't know if anyone has suggested this before, but why don't 
> they give the houses near the airports to the deaf people. It seems that 
> everyone I know that lives near the Buffalo Airport complains about the noise.

How about a little credit where credit is due??  Gallagher (the comedian)
had this in one of his stage acts quite a while ago.  Except for the rare
possibility of an accident in a nearby neighborhood, it would seem to make
a lot of sense.  Although, break-ins might be high in the neighborhood (no
one could hear breaking glass, alarms, or squealing tires)!

Unless, of course, you REALLY DID think of this yourself... in which case,
don't you wish you had thought of it earlier so you could have sold it
to Gallagher?

-King
ARPA: ables@mcc
UUCP: {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!mcc-db!ables

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running like a watercolor in the rain.
Don't bother asking for explanations she'll just tell you that she came
in the year of the cat.			-Al Stewart

fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/09/85)

	From: kumpf@daemen.UUCP (Chumley J. Walrus)
	Newsgroups: net.bizarre
	Subject: Houses near the Airport
	Message-ID: <798@daemen.UUCP>

        I don't know if anyone has suggested this before,

No, they haven't, and I know why not.

	but why don't they give the houses near the airports to the
	deaf people. It seems that everyone I know that lives near the
	Buffalo Airport complains about the noise.

	If we gave the deaf people those houses, they wouldn't complain
	because they couldn't hear the planes.

Actually, what THEY are doing, is to wait 'till the people who live
near airports become deaf. Then THEY won't have to move anybody. (Who
are THEY anyway?)
-- 
All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to
actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental.

						Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690
						Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet}
						harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred

carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (08/10/85)

In article <> kumpf@daemen.UUCP (Chumley J. Walrus) writes:
>*** INSERT THIS LINE DURING INTERCOURSE ***
>
>
> 
> Also, I feel that sex and computers/electronics are interchangable:
>
Hmmm, sounds like a time when I was feeling particularly strange and posted
an article to a Bulletin Board Service (they have sex-related discussions on
many of them-- is there a net.rec.sex?) advertising a fictitious "Parallel
Pussy Interface"....  So far, I haven't given it a real thought.  Are there
any people in robotics classes who want to venture out into this field?
                                               Carl Greenberg

larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman) (08/11/85)

> *** INSERT THIS LINE DURING INTERCOURSE ***
>  
>  Also, I feel that sex and computers/electronics are interchangable:
> 
>         Anymore you can think of??????????

	"Let's go to bed and fork(2)."

	"You have nice(2) tty's."

	"I want to mount(1M) you, Honey."

	"Umount(1M) me?"

	"I'd like to put my login(1) you."

	"Shouldn't you remove the tmpnam(3S) first?"

	"I'd like a piece of tail(1)."

	"More(1)!"

	"Do you feel like greek(1) tonight?"

	"Did you getperiod(3S) yet?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
|	Larry Lippman @ Recognition Research Corp., Clarence, New York        |
|	UUCP	{decvax,dual,rocksanne,rocksvax,watmath}!sunybcs!kitty!larry  |
|					    {rice,shell}!baylor!/	      |
|	VOICE	716/741-9185			      syr!buf!/		      |
|	TELEX	{via WUI} 69-71461 ansbak: ELGECOMCLR			      |
|									      |
|	"Have you hugged your cat today?"				      |
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

mojo@kepler.UUCP (Morris Jones) (08/11/85)

In article <300@mcc-db.UUCP> ables@mcc-db.UUCP (King Ables) writes:
[on giving houses near airports to deaf people]
>How about a little credit where credit is due??  Gallagher (the comedian)
>had this in one of his stage acts quite a while ago.

Righto.  First time I saw this Hazel saved the day for Mr. Baxter (the
second Mr. Baxter, the real estate agent, not the first Mr. Baxter
the lawyer) by finding a hard-of-hearing couple to live in a house 
near an airport that he couldn't sell (rent?).  "Sounds just like the
surf."  

Um... actually it was right by a freeway, not an airport.

Oh well.  

"Eat your breakfast, Sport."
-- 
Mojo
... Morris Jones, MicroPro Product Development
{dual,ptsfa,hplabs}!well!micropro!kepler!mojo
"He was survived by his cat, Samantha."

vohra@ut-sally.UUCP (Pavan Vohra) (08/13/85)

In article <308@kitty.UUCP> larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman) writes:
>> *** INSERT THIS LINE DURING INTERCOURSE ***
>>  
>>  Also, I feel that sex and computers/electronics are interchangable:
>> 
>>         Anymore you can think of??????????
>
>	"Let's go to bed and fork(2)."
>
>	"You have nice(2) tty's."
>
>	"I want to mount(1M) you, Honey."
>
>	"Umount(1M) me?"
>
>	"I'd like to put my login(1) you."
>
>	"Shouldn't you remove the tmpnam(3S) first?"
>
>	"I'd like a piece of tail(1)."
>
>	"More(1)!"
>
>	"Do you feel like greek(1) tonight?"
>
>	"Did you getperiod(3S) yet?"
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>|	Larry Lippman @ Recognition Research Corp., Clarence, New York        |
>|	UUCP	{decvax,dual,rocksanne,rocksvax,watmath}!sunybcs!kitty!larry  |
>|					    {rice,shell}!baylor!/	      |
>|	VOICE	716/741-9185			      syr!buf!/		      |
>|	TELEX	{via WUI} 69-71461 ansbak: ELGECOMCLR			      |
>|									      |
>|	"Have you hugged your cat today?"				      |
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check his .signature file out:  "Have you hugged your cat(1) today?"