keith@ssc-vax.UUCP (Keith Nemitz) (08/10/85)
A new gravity sport has recently come the attention of the ASPCA. "It's a tragic tale of pet lover disatisfaction." A ferment member of the human society told reporters. And just what is this grievous blight on society and who are its helpless victims? It's called dog skating, and it was first reported in may from aghast schoolyard monitors. "It was just awful!" Cried one part-time substitute teacher. "They had the poor puppies tied to their feet!" Apparently this horrendous phenomena is spreading to all parts of the country. In easter county Main the following report was submitted. It is sad, the fate of our rebellious offspring to find themselves sad that they could not afford a real pair of roller skates. Low rent districts are extremely succeptible. The cost of small dogs and puppies is on the increase due to innocuous pet stores. A committee has been formed to allow the local police extra privileges when dealing with dog skating offenders. (continued)
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/14/85)
> From: keith@ssc-vax.UUCP (Keith Nemitz) > Newsgroups: net.bizarre > Subject: dog skating and the ASPCA > Message-ID: <108@ssc-vax.UUCP> > > A new gravity sport has recently come the attention of the ASPCA. > . . . It's called dog skating, . . . Cried one part-time substitute > teacher. "They had the poor puppies tied to their feet!" My brothers and I used to ride skateboards pulled by our shetland sheepdog. It worked pretty well except, being a small dog, he got tired quickly. When I was about ten, I used to ride a neighbor's dog. This wasn't too practical 'cause the dog was exceptionally stupid (as evidenced by the fact that he'd let someone ride on his back) and couldn't learn to go where I wanted him to. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred