jts@bu-cs.UUCP (Joe Szep) (08/11/85)
[INSERT YOUR FAVORITE SLAM DANCE MOVE HERE] How about a net.bizarre group effort to write a new programming language? It should be timely and vogue and offend everyone (sorta like the fashion industry). My proposal is for: PPL (Punk Programming Language) Specifications: 1) No syntax. Do whatever you want, who cares? It won't work anyway. 2) No comments. Punks can't read. 3) There is a 50% chance the compiler will not generating error messages. 4) The instruction set makes it impossible to write a working program. 5) Every program allocates ALL system resources and then doesn't use them. 6) All communications occur at 25 M-bits and 120 dB. 7) If a program fails well enough, it is automatically overwrites /vmunix and then crash the system. 8) No labels; you aren't going anywhere anyway. 9) No arithmetic statements; punks can't add. 10) No logic statements; punks can't think. 11 - N) *** Now it's YOUR TURN!!!! Instruction Set: (don't tell ME what to do....) BOOT <machine> kick the cpu REBOOT kick it again BREAK <resource> disk, memory, neck DON'T exact opposite of traditional DO DDD required at top of each program to set mood, (short for Death, Doom, and Destruction) JUMP <address> off-the-stage NOT <anything> used with DON'T POKE <object> <location> safety-pin,cheek PUSH, POP <location> person-next-to-you SLAM <register> Shift Left And Mutilate STORE <address> lose information at address RESTORE <address> you can't, it's lost. ZERO wipe out everything and start over (more????) The seeds of doom have been planted. Do your worsest, netheads. "If you dance the same and dress the same, it won't be long 'til you are the same. You look the same and act the same, there's nothing new and you're to blame. This is Boston, not L.A. This is Boston, not L.A. This is Boston, fuck L.A." - The Freeze =;-] -- =============================================================================== Joe Szep Boston University Academic Computing Center UUCP: ...!harvard!bu-cs!jts ARPA: jts%bu-cs.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa Pony Express: 111 Cummington St. Boston, Ma. 02215 617-353-2780 ===============================================================================
rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (08/13/85)
> [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE SLAM DANCE MOVE HERE] > > How about a net.bizarre group effort to write a new programming > language? It should be timely and vogue and offend everyone (sorta like > the fashion industry). My proposal is for: > > PPL (Punk Programming Language) Oh, yeah, toad? How about a brain-dead yuppie programming language for geeks who mock punks? Specifications: 1) No syntax. Do whatever you want, real laid back. 2) No comments. Yuppies have their heads together (ouch!) and don't need documentation. 3) Special natural language compiler that can understand yuppie statements like: > 3) There is a 50% chance the compiler will not generating error messages. 4) Compilation only takes place in presence of whiny yuppie music like Kenny Loggins, Rick Springfield, and Rod Stewart. 5) Every program allocates ALL system resources and then doesn't use them. All the resources are purchased on credit using plastic. 6) Communications is not the responsibility of the programmer. "I'm clear on your feelings, and I'm not responsible for them. If you don't understand my message that's your problem." Thus most yuppie programs don't produce any useful information. 9) No arithmetic statements; a prompt is issued for the yuppie to get out his printing calculator to do the addition. (Note also that yuppies can't count.) 10) No logic statements; yuppies do cocaine so they don't have to think. Instruction Set: (tell ME what to do, tell me what to buy....) BOOT <machine> custom designed by L'Merdio's. REBOOT buy another pair with your VISA BPC branch and purchase on credit (acceptable operands: microwave, VCR, condo) BPR branch and play racquetball BEQ branch and eat quiche SVC special VISA call, required for yuppie purchases over $500 BDT branch and do what you're told And so on... -- "There! I've run rings 'round you logically!" "Oh, intercourse the penguin!" Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr
rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (08/16/85)
> >> > >> PPL (Punk Programming Language) > > > >Oh, yeah, toad? How about a brain-dead yuppie programming language for > >geeks who mock punks? > > > > Rich Rosen's a yuppie! (nyaah, nyaah) > > -etan Yeah, well your mother wears Puma running shoes! So there. (For further bickering in this enlightened vein, see "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" in which "I know you are but what am I" acquires new and profound meanings.) -- "Wait a minute. '*WE*' decided??? *MY* best interests????" Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr