dpn@panda.UUCP (Dr. Time) (07/26/85)
THE SAUCERS HAVE LANDED... THE ALIENS ARE AMONG US! There is an MIT co-op from the Andromedia Galaxy in the next cubicle from me. He spends his time teleporting aroung the building and reading our minds... Uh oh... gotta go... -- "It's all fuel under the reactor now, Dr. Time!"
sms@panda.UUCP (Steve M. Shields) (07/26/85)
In article <663@panda.UUCP> dpn@panda.UUCP (Dr. Time) writes: >THE SAUCERS HAVE LANDED... THE ALIENS ARE AMONG US! > > >There is an MIT co-op from the Andromedia Galaxy in the next cubicle from me. >He spends his time teleporting around the building and reading our minds... > >Uh oh... gotta go... > > >-- > >"It's all fuel under the reactor now, Dr. Time!" They caught Dr. Time smearing himself with oatmeal while dancing around printouts of his latest "C" program. "The drums! The drums! Can't you hear them?" He's gone now.
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (07/27/85)
From: dpn@panda.UUCP (Dr. Time)
THE SAUCERS HAVE LANDED... THE ALIENS ARE AMONG US!
There is an MIT co-op from the Andromedia Galaxy in the next
cubicle from me. He spends his time teleporting aroung the
building and reading our minds...
Of course. Who do you think created net.bizarre anyway?
--
All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to
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Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690
Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet}
harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fredcsdf@mit-vax.UUCP (Charles Forsythe) (07/29/85)
In article <202@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes: > From: dpn@panda.UUCP (Dr. Time) > There is an MIT co-op from the Andromedia Galaxy in the next > cubicle from me. He spends his time teleporting aroung the > building and reading our minds... > >Of course. Who do you think created net.bizarre anyway? Certainly not MIT co-op students. They are the lowest kind of scum. The mental power of an average MIT co-op student does not register on any test designed for any being more complicated than a fern. The Andromedans are particularly slow. Their ability to teleport evolved from an inability to walk very far without stopping to ask "is this right?" It is said, around here, that an Andromedan cannot teleport and chew gum at the same time. They often flunk Intro to Breathing (course #6.170 here at the 'tute). Net.bizarre? That was not created by space aliens at all, but rather by a group of dedicated AMERICAN MIT students working in the mentally superior UROP program in order to lure unsuspecting communists, liberals, democrats, homosexuals, and any other synonomous lifeforms into spilling their insidious anti-AMERICAN guts onto the net. That way they could easily be located by flag-waving NSA agents for easy disposal. Do you believe that? If you do then you have already been targeted! Net.bizzare was designed weed out the Normals, Pinks and Conspiracy Dupes for the greater glory of Bob! Xist spies have been planted WHERE YOU WORK! Proof of Bob's global empire can be found IN YOUR PHONE BOOK (under 'B'). Beware! Don't UNSUBSCRIBE now or you'll get it in 1998! Still with me? Good don't explain it to ANYBODY. Any Sub-Genii out there in Bizarre-land? :-? <-man smoking pipe (I wonder why) -- Charles Forsythe CSDF@MIT-VAX "I can't think of the most offensive thing I've said... ...what's your mother's name again?" -Rev. Wang Zeep
leiby@masscomp.UUCP (Mike Leibensperger) (07/31/85)
In article <663@panda.UUCP> dpn@panda.UUCP (Dr. Time) writes: > THE SAUCERS HAVE LANDED... THE ALIENS ARE AMONG US! > > There is an MIT co-op from the Andromedia Galaxy in the next > cubicle from me. He spends his time teleporting aroung the > building and reading our minds... Saw this on net.astro last year; it seems appropriate to repost it in light of panda!dpn's situation. I think it's from the Enquirer or some such worthy tabloid: Your Co-worker Could Be a Space Alien, Say Experts ... Here's How You Can Tell By Michael Cassels Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human -- but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, say experts. They listed 10 signs to watch for: 1. Odd or mismatched clothes. ``Often space aliens don't fully understand the different styles, so they wear combinations that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers,'' noted Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author. 2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might eat French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of pills, the experts say. 3. Bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't understand earthly humor may laugh during a company training film or tell jokes that no one understands, said Steiger. 4. Takes frequent sick days. A space alien might need extra time off to ``rejuvenate its energy,'' said Dr. Thomas Easton, a theoretical biologist and futurist. 5. Keeps a written or tape-recorded diary. ``Aliens are constantly gathering information,'' said Steiger. 6. Misuses everyday items. ``A space alien may use correction fluid to paint its nails,'' said Steiger. 7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. Space aliens who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions that seem stupid, Easton said. ``For example, a co-worker may ask why so many Americans picnic on the Fourth of July,'' noted Steiger. 8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. ``An alien won't discuss details or talk about what it does at night or on weekends,'' said Steiger. 9. Frequently talks to himself. ``A space alien may not be used to speaking the way we do, so an alien may practice speaking,'' Steiger noted. 10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near certain high-tech hardware. ``An alien may experience a mood change when a microwave oven is turned on,'' said Steiger. The experts pointed out that a co-worker would have to display most if not all of these traits before you can positively identify him as a space alien. -- Rt. Rev. Mike Leibensperger, Archbishop of Chelmsford Church of St. Clint the Righteous ("Feel lucky, Pink Boy?") Masscomp; 1 Technology Park; Westford, MA 01886 {decvax,harpo,tektronix}!masscomp!leiby
thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) (08/06/85)
>Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look >human -- but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, >say experts. > They listed 10 signs to watch for: > 1. Odd or mismatched clothes. CHECK > 2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. CHECK > 3. Bizarre sense of humor. CHECK (I'm posting here, aren't I?) > 4. Takes frequent sick days. NOPE > 5. Keeps a written or tape-recorded diary. CHECK > 6. Misuses everyday items. CHECK > 7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. NOPE > 8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. CHECK > 9. Frequently talks to himself. CHECK > 10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near > certain high-tech hardware. CHECK OHMYGOD! I'm a space alien! So now what do I do? -- Steve Thiel ...ihnp4!ut-ngp!thiel "It's a Mr. Death or something... he's come about the reaping?"
crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) (08/06/85)
In article <2208@ut-ngp.UTEXAS> thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) writes: > >>Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look >>human -- but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, >>say experts. > CHECK > CHECK > CHECK (I'm posting here, aren't I?) > NOPE > CHECK > CHECK > CHECK > CHECK > CHECK > >OHMYGOD! I'm a space alien! > >So now what do I do? Join the club, I guess. Or at least, maybe we should start a club.... You know, my wife read the same thing, and it caused no end of merriment when I scored high on the checklist. -- Charlie Martin (...mcnc!duke!crm)
nessus@nsc.UUCP (Kchula-Rrit) (08/09/85)
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** From: thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) >>Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human -- >>but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, say experts. >> They listed 10 signs to watch for: >> 1. Odd or mismatched clothes. > CHECK >> 2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. > CHECK >> 3. Bizarre sense of humor. > CHECK (I'm posting here, aren't I?) >> 4. Takes frequent sick days. > NOPE >> 5. Keeps a written or tape-recorded diary. > CHECK >> 6. Misuses everyday items. > CHECK >> 7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. > NOPE >> 8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. > CHECK >> 9. Frequently talks to himself. > CHECK >> 10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near >> certain high-tech hardware. > CHECK > >OHMYGOD! I'm a space alien! > >So now what do I do? > > Steve Thiel > ...ihnp4!ut-ngp!thiel >"It's a Mr. Death or something... he's come about the reaping?" You need to go down to INS and get your "green card" and then report your address and whereabouts to the INS paranoids every January. Don't worry, I'll be there, too. Just look for the line with wierdest characters in it. From the alter ego of-- Kchula-Rrit
thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) (08/11/85)
From: nessus@nsc.UUCP (Kchula-Rrit) >From: thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) >> [I summarized meeting the criteria and conclude:] [SWT] >>OHMYGOD! I'm a space alien! >> >>So now what do I do? > > You need to go down to INS and get your "green card" and then report >your address and whereabouts to the INS paranoids every January. Don't >worry, I'll be there, too. Just look for the line with wierdest characters >in it. GREEN CARD! GREEN CARD! Now I understand! When I went to INS last January, they just laughed at me when I told them I wanted to apply for my "fuchsia card" like I was told to do before I left home. -- Steve Thiel ...ihnp4!ut-ngp!thiel "It's a Mr. Death or something, he come about the reaping?..."
crandell@ut-sally.UUCP (Jim Crandell) (08/13/85)
> >Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look > >human -- but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, > >say experts. > > They listed 10 signs to watch for: > > 1. Odd or mismatched clothes. > CHECK > > 2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. > CHECK > ... > > 10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near > > certain high-tech hardware. > CHECK > > OHMYGOD! I'm a space alien! > > So now what do I do? Call home, obviously. -- Jim Crandell, C. S. Dept., The University of Texas at Austin {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!crandell
crandell@ut-sally.UUCP (Jim Crandell) (08/13/85)
> You need to go down to INS and get your "green card" and then report > your address and whereabouts to the INS paranoids every January. Don't > worry, I'll be there, too. Just look for the line with wierdest characters > in it. And replace it with your message, of course. -- Jim Crandell, C. S. Dept., The University of Texas at Austin {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!crandell
paul@dual.UUCP (Baker) (08/14/85)
> You need to go down to INS and get your "green card" and then report > your address and whereabouts to the INS paranoids every January. Don't > worry, I'll be there, too. Just look for the line with wierdest characters > in it. There will be some pretty wierd characters in the line. It hasn't been necessary to report for at least five years. When you did have to report, it was at the post office. Paul Wilcox-Baker.
pc@unisoft.UUCP (Paul Campbell) (08/16/85)
> > You need to go down to INS and get your "green card" and then report > > your address and whereabouts to the INS paranoids every January. Don't > > worry, I'll be there, too. Just look for the line with wierdest characters > > in it. > > There will be some pretty wierd characters in the line. It hasn't been > necessary to report for at least five years. When you did have to report, > it was at the post office. > > Paul Wilcox-Baker. When I arrived a year ago they said I had to write in .... (please excuse this sudden piece of seriousness .... on with the circus) Paul Campbell ..!ucbvax!unisoft!paul