dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (08/22/85)
WARNING: This won't be funny unless you're into gross jokes DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke when I was in high school. That was several years ago, so it is told from a faulty memory. In fact, I frist heard it from someone with a faulty memory. If you know the original version, feel free to correct any significant details. Note: if you have already heard this joke, you probably don't want to read it again. A drunk stumbled into a bar one day and demanded, "Give me a drink on the house!" The bartender, upon seeing that the man was drunk, simply ignored him. The drunk persisted. "I want a drink on the house!" The bartender continued to ignore him. Finally, after several unsuccessful attempts to get the bartender's attention, the drunk ambled over to a nearby spitoon, which contained several years' accumulated tobacco spit (on which was growing specimens of new life forms floating in a thin film upon the stale saliva). He picked the spitoon up and began guzzling its contents. One by one, the customers in the bar began to turn green and excuse themselves from the tavern. The bartender, upon seeing his business evaporate before his eyes, pleaded with the drunk to stop. The drunk just continued drinking, and the customers continued leaving. "I'll give you your lousy drink!" the bartender shouted. "Gluk, gluk, gluk," went the drunk, as he continued to guzzle. "I'll give you all the drinks you want, FREE!" "Gluk, gluk, gluk." "I'll do anything! Just stop what you're doing!" "Gluk, gluk, gluk." Finally, after all the customers had left, the drunk put down the spitoon. The bartender was beside himself. "Why didn't you stop when I promised you the world?" The drunk replied, "I really wanted to, but I couldn't." "What do you mean, you couldn't?" "Well, once I started, it just kept on coming in one long, thick stream." -------------------------------------------------------------------- If you don't think this is hilarious, then you're just not into gross jokes. Or maybe it's because it's not funny. Post all flames to net.vomit. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Kirby "There is no genius without RCA Cylix Communications some touch of madness." - Seneca Memphis, TN ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave (The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of RCA Cylix. They may not even reflect my own.)