wildbill@ucbvax.ARPA (William J. Laubenheimer) (08/22/85)
I like to go to a baseball game now and then. It seems that these days,
some promotional giveaway or festivity is always coming up in the not
too distant future. Bat day, ball day, coffee mug night, gym bag day,
jacket day, etc., etc. -- it's almost enough to drive you up the wall
(and out for a ground-rule double?). And it's always the same set (or
nearly so) every year! I mean, how many baseball caps does a guy need?
So it's time to put a little variety into the giveaways. Just as an
example or two, try these:
Whoopee Cushion Day - everybody under 14 gets an absolutely free whoopee
cushion with the team's logo boldly displayed. You don't need to say "Boo!"
any more - now you can make a *really* disgusting noise when Joe Slugger
strikes out again with the bases loaded!
Roach Clip Night - everybody over 18 gets an official "Ken Superstar"
model roach clip, just like the one Ken uses between innings in the
lavatory behind the dugout. (That's where he gets all his hits -- he's
batting .218 this year on the diamond.)
Condom Night - every male fan over 14 gets a free trial-size package of
disposable birth-control devices in the team's colors. Now you can even
take your favorite team to bed with you!
OK sports fans, take it from here. What would *you* like to see your
favorite baseball team give away at their home games? Just remember
what group this posting is appearing in.
Bill Laubenheimer
----------------------------------------UC-Berkeley Computer Science
...Killjoy went that-a-way---> ucbvax!wildbill