andrew@grkermi.UUCP (A. William Rogers) (08/02/85)
You can save the guars, or you can hit "n". "How can I help?", you might ask (as well you should). You can join with me and boycott all products containing GUAR GUM. In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an unspeakably crude fashion, sometimes before the guar has even stopped moving) and sold to multinational food processing corporations so that Yuppie ice cream may have a smoother texture. Check the labels of your favorite dairy products. If GUAR GUM is listed as an ingredient, demand to know why! Last week I was about to buy some "Sid & Johnny's" Ultra-Prestigious Ice Cream but decided to check the label first. Lo and behold - one of the ingredients was GUAR GUM. Needless to say, I put S & J right back in the freezer, and dashed off a scathing letter of protest to the manufacturer. Won't you help? A. William Rogers Chairman, National Guar Foundation
slana@crystal.UUCP (08/04/85)
> You can save the guars, or you can hit "n". > ... > In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally > slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an > ... > Won't you help? > ... > A. William Rogers > Chairman, National Guar Foundation *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH A GUAR CORPSE *** Why are you wasting your time with worthless invertibrates such as guars (whose worth approximates that of a blonde California banana slug)? The North American Nauga (latin: syntheticus leatherus), which once roamed the plains in herds of millions, is now threatened with extinction. One of nature's most majestic beasts, the nauga has been ruthlessly hunted and slaughtered for its precious hide. As recently as 1957, there were an estimated 3.5 million naugas roaming the prairies from Dubuque to Denver (note: there was a subspecies, syntheticus rubberus, which inhabited the outskirts of Akron, but they mysteriously vanished in 1965). Today, there are under 5,000 naugas remaining in North America. The stately nauga stands over 6 feet tall at the shoulders and can weigh over 2500 pounds. Once immortalized by Rod McKuen in his poem "The Buicks of the Prairie", the nauga is a vegetarian known for its docile nature, communal instincts, ability to resist stains, and ease of cleaning. While beautiful creatures, naugas are not very intelligent. Owing to their meek personalities, the entire defense mechanism of naugas consists of locating a tree and hiding behind it. This makes them easy prey for the naugahide hunters, due to their immense size and the considerable shortage of trees on the open prairie. Please forgive my long posting. I believe that the only hope for these beautiful creatures lies in educating the public. I am also sorry to announce that there will be no more "I BRAKE FOR NAUGAS" or "PLANT A TREE, SAVE A NAUGA" bumber stickers so please, no mail. - Chuck Slana std. disclaimor: I accept full responsibility for any of my behavior which might be considered as slightly off center........ ****** question-o-the-day: What happens if you serve pasta and antipasto together?
larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman) (08/05/85)
> You can join with me and boycott all products containing GUAR GUM. > > In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally > slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an > unspeakably crude fashion, sometimes before the guar has even stopped moving) > and sold to multinational food processing corporations so that Yuppie ice > cream may have a smoother texture. What is even worse than the senseless slaughter of guars, is the continual killing of innocent people in the Middle East in order to make GUM ARABIC. No wonder there is anti-American feeling in the Middle East! Boycott mucilage and save an Arab's life! Larry Lippman Recognition Research Corp. Clarence, New York UUCP {decvax,dual,rocksanne,rocksvax,watmath}!sunybcs!kitty!larry {rice,shell}!baylor!kitty!larry syr!buf!kitty!larry VOICE 716/741-9185 TELEX {via WUI} 69-71461 answerback: ELGECOMCLR "Have you hugged your cat today?"
carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (08/07/85)
> might be considered as slightly off center........ > >****** > question-o-the-day: What happens if you serve pasta and antipasto together? Research done here at Lunatic Laboratories Unlimited indicates that they in the digestive tract with dangerous force similar to eating radioactive burritos. Carl Greenberg
davida@umd5.UUCP (08/07/85)
> > In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally > > slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an > > unspeakably crude fashion, sometimes before the guar has even stopped moving) > > and sold to multinational food processing corporations so that Yuppie ice > > cream may have a smoother texture. > > What is even worse than the senseless slaughter of guars, is the > continual killing of innocent people in the Middle East in order to make > GUM ARABIC. No wonder there is anti-American feeling in the Middle East! > Almost as bad as that, is the raising of small defensless creatures merely for the use of their skins. Yes, of course, I'm talking about those adorable little fellows, naugas. Do YOU know how many naugas must be slaughtered to make one sofa??? And while we're on the subject, what about polyesters????? Are the tastless jackets really worth it???? C'mon, let's wake up and face the music! This is as sensless as killing whales for lamp oil !!!! -- David Arnold University of Maryland usenet: ...!seismo!rglvax!cvl!umd5!davida ARPA: davida@umd5.ARPA
review@drutx.UUCP (MillhamBD) (08/08/85)
>question-o-the-day: What happens if you serve pasta and antipasto together?
Wouldn't you go into warp speed?
I can see it now
Kirk: Scotty, we need more power!
Scotty: But Captain, we ran out of Lasagna.
--------------------------------------------
Brian Millham
AT & T Information Systems
Denver, Co.
...!inhp4!drutx!reviewbcmbcm@wlcrjs.UUCP (Bruce Maynard) (08/12/85)
In article <703@umd5.UUCP> davida@umd5.UUCP writes: >> > In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally >> > slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an >> > unspeakably crude fashion, sometimes before the guar has even stopped moving) >> > and sold to multinational food processing corporations so that Yuppie ice >> > cream may have a smoother texture. >> >> What is even worse than the senseless slaughter of guars, is the >> continual killing of innocent people in the Middle East in order to make >> GUM ARABIC. No wonder there is anti-American feeling in the Middle East! >> > > Almost as bad as that, is the raising of small defensless creatures >merely for the use of their skins. Yes, of course, I'm talking about those >adorable little fellows, naugas. Do YOU know how many naugas must be >slaughtered to make one sofa??? And while we're on the subject, what about >polyesters????? Are the tastless jackets really worth it???? > >C'mon, let's wake up and face the music! This is as sensless as killing >whales for lamp oil !!!! > >-- This sort of thing really bothers me... and what's worse, there's even MORE!! Tartaric acid (This people is almost extinct!) Fehling's solution (a great man gave his LIFE to make this stuff... yet it's squandered daily.) Tannic acid: This one makes me SICK! Imagine, hundreds of Californians are POWDERED every day! Antipersperant: I can't BELIEVE people actually POISON the poor li'l buggers, just 'cause they smell funny...
carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (08/13/85)
In article <> bcmbcm@wlcrjs.UUCP (Bruce Maynard) writes: >In article <703@umd5.UUCP> davida@umd5.UUCP writes: >>>> In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally >>>> slaughtered by heartless guar hunters. Their gums will be removed (in an >>>> unspeakably crude fashion, sometimes before the guar has even stopped moving) >>>> and sold to multinational food processing corporations so that Yuppie ice >>>> cream may have a smoother texture. >>> >>> What is even worse than the senseless slaughter of guars, is the >>> continual killing of innocent people in the Middle East in order to make >>> GUM ARABIC. No wonder there is anti-American feeling in the Middle East! >>> >> >> Almost as bad as that, is the raising of small defensless creatures >>merely for the use of their skins. Yes, of course, I'm talking about those >>adorable little fellows, naugas. Do YOU know how many naugas must be >>slaughtered to make one sofa??? And while we're on the subject, what about >>polyesters????? Are the tastless jackets really worth it???? >> >>C'mon, let's wake up and face the music! This is as sensless as killing >>whales for lamp oil !!!! >> > >This sort of thing really bothers me... and what's worse, there's even MORE!! > >Tartaric acid (This people is almost extinct!) >Fehling's solution (a great man gave his LIFE to make this stuff... yet it's squandered daily.) >Tannic acid: This one makes me SICK! Imagine, hundreds of Californians are POWDERED every day! >Antipersperant: I can't BELIEVE people actually POISON the poor li'l buggers, just 'cause they smell funny... Yah! Anyone ever wonder where VELCRO comes from??? Out in the deserts, these little creatures called velcros (I think they're distant relatives of the coyote) are slaughtered every day. Male and female velcros are slaughtered while stuck together (one has hook-like fur, the other loops) and trying to perpetuate the species. Doesn't anyone know where we get all this stuff that is attributed to modern technology? Carl Greenberg
nessus@nsc.UUCP (Kchula-Rrit) (08/13/85)
>>question-o-the-day: What happens if you serve pasta and antipasto together? > > Wouldn't you go into warp speed? No. They would mutually anihilate each other, releasing a burst of gamma rays that would sterilize space for light-years around. > > I can see it now > > Kirk: Scotty, we need more power! > > Scotty: But Captain, we ran out of Lasagna. > Kchula-Rrit
mikel@bmcg.UUCP (Mike Lesher) (08/16/85)
In article <205@proper.UUCP> carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) writes: >Anyone ever wonder where VELCRO comes from??? Out in the deserts, these >little creatures called velcros (I think they're distant relatives of the >coyote) are slaughtered every day. Male and female velcros are slaughtered >while stuck together (one has hook-like fur, the other loops) and trying to >perpetuate the species. Doesn't anyone know where we get all this stuff that >is attributed to modern technology? > Carl Greenberg What about the Naugas. Every day thousands are slautered to supply our rampent demand for couches and chairs. Naugahide should be left on the Naugas, not our household furniture. Michael Lesher (bmcg!mikel) Burroughs DSG San Diego, CA.
dpn@panda.UUCP (Disco Duck) (08/17/85)
In article <209@nrcvax.UUCP> terry@nrcvax.UUCP (Terry Grevstad) writes: >-- >\"\t\f1A\h'+1m'\f4\(mo\h'+1m'\f1the\h'+1m'\f4\(es\t\f1\c Look, I may not be an expert on linguistics, but even a cursory glance at this reveals that it is clearly the language of a SPACE ALIEN!!! Sure, now they are only interested in guar gum and petrified twinkies, but what about tomorrow? WHAT WILL THEY WANT NEXT??? I don't know about anybody else, but I for one will keep my eyes open for future alien language transmissions on the net. In the meantime I'll continue working around the clock to decode this message. I'll post any results...(as if its not TOO LATE ALREADY!!!) -- --Dale P. Nielsen "Well, that's all fuel under the reactor now, Mr. Time!"
trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jon) (08/17/85)
>Hey, folks, there really is a guar. >Maybe that's why they call it a guar? > GUernsey And Rhino No, it's called a guar because the first person to see a guar was trampled by one. When the other prehistorics found him, they asked what was it that did trampled him. He clenched his stomach and shouted "Guuuaaarrrrrrr!!!!!...", and promptly died. The prehistorics thus gave it the name 'guar', which is the name it has today. I say we adopt the Guar as the Net animal, much in the same fashion that New York has a state insect. What about it? -- Jonathan D. Trudel arpa:trudel@ru-blue.arpa uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!trudel "You can't fight in here, this is the WAR ROOM!"
eric@grkermi.UUCP (Pizzamaker and Superuser) (08/19/85)
In article <773@panda.UUCP> dpn@panda.UUCP (Disco Duck) writes: >>\"\t\f1A\h'+1m'\f4\(mo\h'+1m'\f1the\h'+1m'\f4\(es\t\f1\c >Look, I may not be an expert on linguistics, but even a cursory glance at this >reveals that it is clearly the language of a SPACE ALIEN!!! >Sure, now they are only interested in guar gum and petrified twinkies, but >what about tomorrow? WHAT WILL THEY WANT NEXT??? >I don't know about anybody else, but I for one will keep my eyes open for >future alien language transmissions on the net. In the meantime I'll >continue working around the clock to decode this message. I'll post any >results...(as if its not TOO LATE ALREADY!!!) > --Dale P. Nielsen Pardon my dear coleague here at Twin City Pizza. You see, we recently started adding guar gum to our pizza, and he still hasn't recovered from the shock. He was carried away last night while stuck repeating the words "space aliens" in the style of a Gregorian chant. The men in their little white coats have asked us to let him continue posting in the hope that he can work through this. Please, if any of you have any advice for this sorryful creature, mail it to him at once.
bhayes@Glacier.ARPA (Barry Hayes) (08/19/85)
And let's don't forget the poor Tartars, available in both cream form and sauce.
jgd@uwmcsd1.UUCP (John G Dobnick) (08/21/85)
[Just who was that masked line-eater, anyway?] > And let's don't forget the poor Tartars, available in both > cream form and sauce. ... and steaks! -- -- John G Dobnick Computing Services Division @ University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee (...ihnp4!uwmcsd1!jgd)
polard@fortune.UUCP (Henry Polard) (08/21/85)
In article <10908@Glacier.ARPA> bhayes@Glacier.UUCP (Barry Hayes) writes: > >And let's don't forget the poor Tartars, available in both >cream form and sauce. Not to mention the poor Vinyls, some of whom are mercilessly kept separated from MOTOS so we can enjoy the dubious stylishness of virgin Vinyl! -- Henry Polard (You bring the flames - I'll bring the marshmallows.) {ihnp4,cbosgd,amd}!fortune!polard N.B: The words in this posting do not necessarily express the opinions of me, my employer, or any AI project.
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/22/85)
> From: trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jon) > Newsgroups: net.bizarre > Subject: Re: RE: Save the Guars > Message-ID: <3313@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU> > >Hey, folks, there really is a guar. > No, it's called a guar because the first person to see a guar > was trampled by one. When the other prehistorics found him, > they asked what was it that did trampled him. He clenched his > stomach and shouted "Guuuaaarrrrrrr!!!!!...", and promptly > died. The prehistorics thus gave it the name 'guar', which is > the name it has today. I heard a (supposedly true; sorry about that) story about when Captain Cook was in Australia he asked some native aborigines what that bizarre animal that he saw bouncing around was. The natives, who didn't understand English, replied ``I don't understand.'' which, in aborigine, is ``Kanga roo.''. > I say we adopt the Guar as the Net animal, much in the same > fashion that New York has a state insect. What about it? The Maryland State Insect is some type of butterfly (sorry, I don't recall the name) which has the state colors in its wings. The Maryland State ice-cream flavor (no, I'm NOT joking) is Chesapeake Bay Berry Ripple, which also includes the state colors. I don't know what it tastes like, probably crabs. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred
kwc@cvl.UUCP (Kenneth W. Crist Jr.) (08/22/85)
> The Maryland State ice-cream flavor (no, I'm NOT joking) is Chesapeake > Bay Berry Ripple, which also includes the state colors. I don't know > what it tastes like, probably crabs. No, in fact it is quite good. And it DOES NOT taste like crabs. > Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 > Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} > harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred Up until a few years ago, Maryland had a state sport. It was that wonderful thing that you see on television all the time, JOUSTING. When the health craze hit a few years ago the legislature switched the state sport to jogging. Now, I can't think of anything that will get you into shape faster than sitting in a complete armor suit on a Maryland summer day (temp. 90, humidity 150) carrying a jousting lance (or whatever they call it) into battle. Kenneth Crist Computer Vision Lab University of Maryland
bob@pedsgd.UUCP (Robert A. Weiler) (08/24/85)
Organization : Perkin-Elmer DSG, Tinton Falls NJ Keywords: In article <3313@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU> trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jon) writes: > >I say we adopt the Guar as the Net animal, much in the same fashion >that New York has a state insect. What about it? >-- > > Jonathan D. Trudel And Dr. Hunter S. Thompson ought to be the official mascot. And Jay Maeder who use to write a truly bizarre gossip column ( colum? coloumn? coloum; doesnt look right) for the Miami Herald and now writes a not quite so bizarre (possibly syndicated) light news column and movie reviews for the NY Daily News ought to be net. bizarres spiritual leader. Jay, if you can see the sound of my typing, send us a SIGN. Got to stop now, the goddam giant bats have sho
andrew@grkermi.UUCP (A. William Rogers) (08/24/85)
In article <10908@Glacier.ARPA> bhayes@Glacier.UUCP (Barry Hayes) writes: > >And let's don't forget the poor Tartars, available in both >cream form and sauce. At least they deserve it for what they do to people's teeth!
hosking@convexs.UUCP (08/25/85)
It's bad enough that we have to kill innocent guars, naugas, and vinyl, but now we have THIS to worry about too. Destroying the sex lives of moths... How cruel can you get ? /* Written 9:57 am Aug 23, 1985 by charli@cylixd.UUCP in convexs:net.consumers */ /* ---------- "Re: NEXT: How do you kill silverfis" ---------- */ In article <645@hou2d.UUCP> lws@hou2d.UUCP (L.SAMOCHA) writes: >Now that THAT is settled, what about those damed silverfish? >These little 'buggers' seem to eat nothing, live only in >my upstairs bathroom- and (?) dislike air conditioning. > >Any answers??? > Mothballs. Silverfish hate mothballs. Since silverfish eat strange things (the backing on carpets and glue in book-bindings), you may have to put the mothballs in some strange places. (When we had silverfish, I put mothballs in the bookshelves behind the books, and in cabinets.) Just make sure pets and children can't get to the mothballs, as they're poisonous. charli /* End of text from convexs:net.consumers */
chris@nrcvax.UUCP (Chris Grevstad) (08/26/85)
jrb@wdl1.UUCP says: >> Not to mention the millions of little babys slaughtered every day for >> their oil.... >> >> arizona!wendt > >Leaving little dried up husks which are left out in the sun for six weeks >and ground up into powder. > Reminds me of how they get fairy dust. -- Chris Grevstad {sdcsvax,hplabs}!sdcrdcf!psivax!nrcvax!chris ucbvax!calma!nrcvax!chris If things don't change, they will probably remain the same.