bill@persci.UUCP (08/26/85)
In article <1088@wucs.UUCP> tp@wucs.UUCP (tom thumbs) writes: > I have just completed a little experiment and now I think I need the >help of net.bizarre to properly interpret the results. >[...] > This gave me an idea. I placed a tub of beer on the back of a >fraternity house porch and, sure enough, when morning came, the entire >frat had drowned in the beer. > This inspired part 2 of the experiment in which I shook salt on >top of frat boys. There was no discernable effect. > Now, in terms of behavior and cleanliness, there seems little >difference between slugs and frat people. > The questions: > 1. are frat boys a species of slug which is salt-resistant? > 2. was there an error in my methods? > 3. are slugs just a degenerate (or perhaps more advanced) form > of fraternity brother? The error was in your original hypothesis, that frat bros and slugs are related species. In fact, they are an example of "convergent evolution" (I think that's what it's called), where different species will evolve similar characteristics in filling similar ecological niches. The affinity for alcoholic beverages is an example. The differences are noted in the reaction to salt (frat bros LOVE salt, especially with margaritas and chips!), and the fact the frat bros don't crawl on their bellies (except in their larval stage, as "pledges"). Also, frat bros are a widely divergent species, some few of which have managed to evolve their primary form of unaided locomotion from "staggering" (an uncanny resemblance to that of human winos) to true walking. In fact, one species, the Zeta Betatauus, has actually achieved full membership in the human race! No other species can claim this, although some have claimed to be superior to mere humans (which is, in fact, borne out by their aforementioned amazing capacity for the ingestion of certain organic poisons). -- This .signature intentionally not left blank. {decvax,skivax,turtlevax,sexvax,beesvax,earvax,blackvax,floorvax}!/dev/null