paul@phs.UUCP (Paul C. Dolber) (08/28/85)
National Review, 8/23/85:
Deadpan-of-the-Year Award to Ted Turner. When asked to discuss
the aftermath of a nuclear conflict, he thought a while, then
commented: "Nuclear war would really set back cable."
The number of dog bites in New York City has decreased since 1973.
However, the number of human bites is up for the sixth straight
year, with 1,593 cases reported.
After deciding that a drug a woman had taken during pregnancy was
not responsible for her child's birth defects, a jury awarded her
damages anyway -- to help defray medical costs of the child's
future care.
National Review, 9/6/85:
From Shamokin, Pennsylvania, comes word that the state civil-rights
coordinator has orered a Benjamin Franklin motto removed from the
wall of the Northumberland County Vocational-Technical School on
grounds of linguistic sexism. The plaque in question reads, "He
who hath a trade, hath an estate," and that discriminates against
women, according to state official Glenn Davis.
Mr. Wilber Snapp, the organist at the Clearwater, Florida, baseball
park, got tossed out by the umpire when, after a disputed call, he
played "Three Blind Mice."
A West German paper reports that a four-man Soviet tank crew got
lost on maneuvers in Czechoslovakia. To make matters worse, their
limited vodka ration was running out. The tank rumbled into a
village and found the pub open. The crew had enough money to buy
one bottle of vodka; then the leader traded his gold wedding ring
for three more. Around closing time, the crew was seen leaving
the pub with two cases of vodka and several pounds of herring and
pickles, for which they had traded the tank. The crew was found
a couple of days later sleeping it off in the woods, and the
remains of the dismantled tank were located behind the pub after
the owner started selling pieces of it to a metal-recycling center.
A bad week for the vice squad in Toledo. A judge ruled that a live
dancer at an adult bookstore cannot be prosecuted because the vice
officer who watched her perform was not aroused.
Regards, Paul Dolber (duke!phs!paul).