[net.bizarre] Chocolate Bunny Mystery

awc@bu-cs.UUCP (Alex Cannon) (08/29/85)

***I'M NOT WEARING PANTS: FILM AT 11***

In article <468@moncol.UUCP> john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer) writes:
>The other day my mother came across a half-eaten chocolate easter bunny.
>Rather than even considering eating it, she put it out on the driveway
>right under the bird feeder figuring that the squirrels or something would
>eat it.
>
>The last two days have been 90+ with this piece of chocolate siting on an
>asphalt driveway. Not only has nothing eaten it, it hasn't even shown any
>signs of melting!
>
>One wonders what they put in chocolate to keep it from melting.
>

I can think of two possible explanations for this phenomonon:

1. Over the (assumed) long period aforementioned easter bunny sat in
   the closet/fridge/foyer, most of the moisture contained in the 
   chocolate evaporated. I believe that it takes less heat to make
   (normally) moist chocolate melt than it does when dry. If this is
   true, then let's take it to its logical conclusion; get some 
   *really* dry chocolate, and make space shuttle heat tiles out of
   it!

2. The "chocolate easter bunny" was neither a bunny, nor chocolate,
   but actually a SPACE ALIEN! Great dragons, are you in trouble! A
   friendly, cute little ambassador from Mars singled YOUR family out
   for first contact last Easter, and you folks just chomped his
   head off! Nice going, a**hole, we're probably in for interplanetary
   war now. No, don't try to explain, we don't need your feeble excuses.
   Just go give what's left of that little alien a decent burial.

Boy, some people...

Alex Cannon
Boston University
Anaphylactic Computing Center

"...a country of people who think that their lifestyle 
 is so superior to any other that they're willing to 
 export it at the point of a gun." -- Clever Paraphrase