[net.bizarre] Turtle time

cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey) (08/06/85)

It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
ask it again than net.bizarre?

	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
-- 
Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly

jmb@cbdkc1.UUCP ( Jim Brohard 45810 x4880 ) (08/07/85)

In article <1082@cbdkc1.UUCP> cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey) writes:
>It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
>ask it again than net.bizarre?
>
>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?


YOU BET YOUR SWEET A** I AM!

worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) (08/07/85)

> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
> ask it again than net.bizarre?
> 
> 	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
> -- 
> Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
> 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly


Well, I blink like a turtle.
My old roomate eats like a turtle.

Wow, I guess we're all turtles!!



		@@@@@@@                                          @@@@@
		   @     @    @  @@@@@    @@@@@  @       @@@@@@ @     @
		   @     @    @  @    @     @    @       @      @
		   @     @    @  @    @     @    @       @@@@@   @@@@@
		   @     @    @  @@@@@      @    @       @            @
		   @     @    @  @   @      @    @       @      @     @
		   @      @@@@   @    @     @    @@@@@@  @@@@@@  @@@@@



		@     @                         @@@@@@@
		@     @  @    @     @     @@@@@ @
		@     @  @@   @     @       @   @
		@     @  @ @  @     @       @   @@@@@
		@     @  @  @ @     @       @   @
		@     @  @   @@     @       @   @
		 @@@@@   @    @     @       @   @@@@@@@


It's time we stood up and were counted! 


[MMMMRRRRRAAAAWWWWWW!] <- Turtle yawn.


Bye.

-- 

	Roger Espinosa, YASS [Yet Another Summer Student]
	ihnp4!ih1ap!worp


		"Not fair, not fair! It isn't fair,
			my precious, to ask us what's
			it's got in its nasty little
			pocketses!"

				--the Gollum

mmar@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Mitchell Marks) (08/08/85)

It's turtles alllll the way down.

 .
   .
      .
         .
               .
                       .
                                 .
                                                  .
                                                                         .
-- 

            -- Mitch Marks @ UChicago 
               ...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!mmar

trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jon) (08/09/85)

Well, people tell me I am, but that's because I walk funny.
-- 

					   Jonathan D. Trudel
					arpa:trudel@ru-blue.arpa
	 			uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!trudel
		   	    "You can't fight in here, this is the WAR ROOM!"

hav@dual.UUCP (Not Sid Vicious) (08/09/85)

=> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
=> ask it again than net.bizarre?
=> 
=> 	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
=> -- 
=> Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
=> 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly

You bet your ass I am!

Helen Anne

     {ucbvax,ihnp4,cbosgd,hplabs,decwrl,unisoft,fortune,sun,nsc}!dual!hav 

J. Frank Parnell.  Do you feel like you're losing your mind?

carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (08/10/85)

In article <> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes:
>> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
>> ask it again than net.bizarre?
>> 
>> 	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>> -- 
>> Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
>> 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly
>
>
>Well, I blink like a turtle.
>My old roomate eats like a turtle.
>
>Wow, I guess we're all turtles!!
>
>
Shouldn't this be on net.lang.logo?
                                               Carl Greenberg

dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) (08/10/85)

In article <517@ih1ap.UUCP> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes:
>
>Wow, I guess we're all turtles!!

Gee--there are a lot of terps here at U of Maryland, but I didn't realize
there were so many on the net!  :-)
-- 

Dana S. Nau, Comp Sci Dept, U of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742
dsn@maryland	seismo!umcp-cs!dsn	(301) 454-7932

evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (08/12/85)

> ARE YOU A TURTLE?

You bet your sweet ass I am.

1) I really couldn't help myself.  I HAD to post this.

2) Please pardon the 'bad language' (I know that the word 'bet' offends
some people, but hey, sometimes you just gotta say 'what the f--k).  Tho
I never did figure out how to pronounce the 2 dashes.

--Evan Marcus
-- 
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan
                         ...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan

What do you want?  Wicker?

fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/12/85)

	> From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
	> Newsgroups: net.bizarre
	> Subject: Re: Turtle time
	> 
	> Gee--there are a lot of terps here at U of Maryland, but I
	> didn't realize there were so many on the net!  :-)

A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be
confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing.

I hope I have made myself perfectly clear.
-- 
All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to
actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental.

						Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690
						Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet}
						harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred

dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) (08/13/85)

In article <237@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes:
>
>A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be
>confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing.
>
>I hope I have made myself perfectly clear.

terrapin, n. [< Algonquian],  1. any of various fresh-water or tidewater
turtles.  2. its edible flesh.

		-- from Webster's New World Dictionary
-- 

Dana S. Nau, Comp Sci Dept, U of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742
dsn@maryland	seismo!umcp-cs!dsn	(301) 454-7932

fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/13/85)

    > From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
    > Newsgroups: net.bizarre
    > Subject: Re: Turtle time
    > Message-ID: <318@tove.UUCP>
    > 
    > In article <237@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes:
    > >
    > >A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be
    > >confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing.
    > >
    > >I hope I have made myself perfectly clear.
    > 
    > terrapin, n. [< Algonquian],  1. any of various fresh-water or tidewater
    > turtles.  2. its edible flesh.
    > 
    > -- from Webster's New World Dictionary

That dictonary was probably written by slugs.

Everyone here at Maryland knows that Terrapins are made of bronze and
filled with cement to keep them from being stolen.
-- 
All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to
actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental.

						Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690
						Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet}
						harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred

vohra@ut-sally.UUCP (Pavan Vohra) (08/13/85)

In article <195@proper.UUCP> carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) writes:
>In article <> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes:
>>> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
>>> ask it again than net.bizarre?
>>> 
>>> 	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>>
>>
>>Well, I blink like a turtle.
>>My old roomate eats like a turtle.
>>
>>Wow, I guess we're all turtles!!
>>
>>
>Shouldn't this be on net.lang.logo?

More appropriate: net.lang.slo_go

dbp@dataio.UUCP (Dave Pellerin) (08/13/85)

>It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
>ask it again than net.bizarre?
>
>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?


I haven't heard that question asked since junior high school !!


Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat
   on it??






A. His head !!


Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??

crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) (08/16/85)

In article <432@petfe.UUCP> evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) writes:
>> ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>
>You bet your sweet ass I am.
>
>1) I really couldn't help myself.  I HAD to post this.
>
>2) Please pardon the 'bad language' (I know that the word 'bet' offends
>some people, but hey, sometimes you just gotta say 'what the f--k).  Tho
>I never did figure out how to pronounce the 2 dashes.

	You pronounce them as "w" -- that is, f--k is pronounced
	/fwwk/.

	Hope this helps.


-- 

			Charlie Martin
			(...mcnc!duke!crm)

lorien@mhuxn.UUCP (CONWAY) (08/20/85)

> >It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to
> >ask it again than net.bizarre?
> >
> >	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
> 
> 
> I haven't heard that question asked since junior high school !!
> 
> 
> Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat
>    on it??
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A. His head !!
> 
> 
> Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***
I remember only two of the Turtle Test questions.  They go something like:

What does a dog do on three legs, that a man does on two legs, that a woman
does sitting down?


Shakes hands.



What is a four-letter word meaning intercourse?


Talk.

vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) (08/21/85)

>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>
>Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat
>   on it??
>
>A. His head !!
>
>
>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??
>

I think there are three more questions:

Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"?
A. TALK

Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
A. FiretrUCK

Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
A. Legs.

Was that all of them?



-- 
Rob Vollum
Data General Corp.
Research Triangle Park, NC
<the world>!mcnc!rti-sel!rtp47!vollum

andrew@grkermi.UUCP (X. Hollander) (08/23/85)

In article <153@rtp47.UUCP> vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) writes:
>>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>>>		.
>>>		.
>>>
>>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??
>>
>
>I think there are three more questions:
>		.
>		.
>Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
>A. Legs.
>
>Was that all of them?

I think there were a couple more:

Q: What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky?
A: Chewing gum.

Q: What does a dog do on three legs, a man do on two legs, and a woman do
   sitting down?
A: Shake hands.

mcb@ihlpm.UUCP (m. baker) (08/24/85)

> In article <153@rtp47.UUCP> vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) writes:
> >>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?

You bet your sweet ass I am.

> >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??

I happen to still have my membership card.  It reads as follows:

FRONT:

                                International Association of
                                         TURTLES

                                  Date   3/4/80
This is to certify that

       Mark C Baker

is a member in good standing and will remain so as
long as he continues to give the password when
asked by a fellow turtle.

    OFFICIAL                     Imperial Turtle
   MEMBERSHIP             
      CARD                   <signed> S P Turtle


BACK:

   As a member in good standing you can subcribe new Turtles
as follows:

I.  We assume all prospective turtles own a Jack Ass.  On this
    assumption is the reason for the password.
    This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow
    member, "Are you a Turtle?"  You must then reply, "You bet your
    sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because
    of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of
    his choice.  So always remember the password.

II. To become an official Turtle you must first solve the following
    riddles:
    1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down,
       and a dog on three legs? (Answer: Shake Hands)
    2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only 
       two of? (Answer: Legs)
    3. What is a four letter word ending in K that means the same
       as intercourse? (Answer: Talk)
    4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far
       out of his pajamas you can hang a hat on it? (Answer: His
       Head)

III. You are now a member of the Turtle club.  Govern yourself
     accordingly and procure new members.


-- 

-- Mark

bsc@wuphys.UUCP (Bryan Coughlan) (08/26/85)

>>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
>>
>>Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat
>>   on it??
>>A. His head !!
>>
>>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??
>
>I think there are three more questions:
>
>Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"?
>A. TALK
>
>Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
>A. FiretrUCK
>
>Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
>A. Legs.
>
>Was that all of them?
>Rob Vollum

I remember one other one:

Q: What's long, hard and full of semen?
A: A submarine.

This question is best administered orally!


-- 

Bryan S. Coughlan            ( Yes, that's right. My first 
ihnp4!wuphys!bsc 		two initials are B.S. ! )

ariels@orca.UUCP (Ariel Shattan) (08/29/85)

> >>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?
> >>
> >>Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat
> >>   on it??
> >>A. His head !!
> >>
> >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??
> >
> >I think there are three more questions:
> >
> >Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"?
> >A. TALK
> >
> >Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
> >A. FiretrUCK
> >
> >Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
> >A. Legs.
> >
> >Was that all of them?
> >Rob Vollum
> 
> I remember one other one:
> 
> Q: What's long, hard and full of semen?
> A: A submarine.
> 
> Bryan S. Coughlan            ( Yes, that's right. My first 

Then there's:

Q: What is it that a man does standing up, a woman does sitting down,
   and a dog does in three legs?

A: Shake hands.

Ariel