cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey) (08/06/85)
It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to ask it again than net.bizarre? ARE YOU A TURTLE? -- Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly
jmb@cbdkc1.UUCP ( Jim Brohard 45810 x4880 ) (08/07/85)
In article <1082@cbdkc1.UUCP> cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey) writes: >It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to >ask it again than net.bizarre? > > ARE YOU A TURTLE? YOU BET YOUR SWEET A** I AM!
worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) (08/07/85)
> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to > ask it again than net.bizarre? > > ARE YOU A TURTLE? > -- > Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio > 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly Well, I blink like a turtle. My old roomate eats like a turtle. Wow, I guess we're all turtles!! @@@@@@@ @@@@@ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @ @@@@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@ @ @ @ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@ @ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@@@@ It's time we stood up and were counted! [MMMMRRRRRAAAAWWWWWW!] <- Turtle yawn. Bye. -- Roger Espinosa, YASS [Yet Another Summer Student] ihnp4!ih1ap!worp "Not fair, not fair! It isn't fair, my precious, to ask us what's it's got in its nasty little pocketses!" --the Gollum
mmar@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Mitchell Marks) (08/08/85)
It's turtles alllll the way down. . . . . . . . . . -- -- Mitch Marks @ UChicago ...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!mmar
trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jon) (08/09/85)
Well, people tell me I am, but that's because I walk funny. -- Jonathan D. Trudel arpa:trudel@ru-blue.arpa uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!trudel "You can't fight in here, this is the WAR ROOM!"
hav@dual.UUCP (Not Sid Vicious) (08/09/85)
=> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to => ask it again than net.bizarre? => => ARE YOU A TURTLE? => -- => Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio => 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly You bet your ass I am! Helen Anne {ucbvax,ihnp4,cbosgd,hplabs,decwrl,unisoft,fortune,sun,nsc}!dual!hav J. Frank Parnell. Do you feel like you're losing your mind?
carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (08/10/85)
In article <> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes: >> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to >> ask it again than net.bizarre? >> >> ARE YOU A TURTLE? >> -- >> Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio >> 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly > > >Well, I blink like a turtle. >My old roomate eats like a turtle. > >Wow, I guess we're all turtles!! > > Shouldn't this be on net.lang.logo? Carl Greenberg
dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) (08/10/85)
In article <517@ih1ap.UUCP> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes: > >Wow, I guess we're all turtles!! Gee--there are a lot of terps here at U of Maryland, but I didn't realize there were so many on the net! :-) -- Dana S. Nau, Comp Sci Dept, U of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742 dsn@maryland seismo!umcp-cs!dsn (301) 454-7932
evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (08/12/85)
> ARE YOU A TURTLE?
You bet your sweet ass I am.
1) I really couldn't help myself. I HAD to post this.
2) Please pardon the 'bad language' (I know that the word 'bet' offends
some people, but hey, sometimes you just gotta say 'what the f--k). Tho
I never did figure out how to pronounce the 2 dashes.
--Evan Marcus
--
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan
...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan
What do you want? Wicker?
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/12/85)
> From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) > Newsgroups: net.bizarre > Subject: Re: Turtle time > > Gee--there are a lot of terps here at U of Maryland, but I > didn't realize there were so many on the net! :-) A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing. I hope I have made myself perfectly clear. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred
dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) (08/13/85)
In article <237@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes: > >A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be >confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing. > >I hope I have made myself perfectly clear. terrapin, n. [< Algonquian], 1. any of various fresh-water or tidewater turtles. 2. its edible flesh. -- from Webster's New World Dictionary -- Dana S. Nau, Comp Sci Dept, U of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742 dsn@maryland seismo!umcp-cs!dsn (301) 454-7932
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (08/13/85)
> From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) > Newsgroups: net.bizarre > Subject: Re: Turtle time > Message-ID: <318@tove.UUCP> > > In article <237@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes: > > > >A terrapin is NOT a turtle, which is NOT a tortoise, and should NOT be > >confused with a mock turtle, nor confused by a sheep in turtle's clothing. > > > >I hope I have made myself perfectly clear. > > terrapin, n. [< Algonquian], 1. any of various fresh-water or tidewater > turtles. 2. its edible flesh. > > -- from Webster's New World Dictionary That dictonary was probably written by slugs. Everyone here at Maryland knows that Terrapins are made of bronze and filled with cement to keep them from being stolen. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!fred
vohra@ut-sally.UUCP (Pavan Vohra) (08/13/85)
In article <195@proper.UUCP> carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) writes: >In article <> worp@ih1ap.UUCP (Federation for Banning Barcodes) writes: >>> It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to >>> ask it again than net.bizarre? >>> >>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? >> >> >>Well, I blink like a turtle. >>My old roomate eats like a turtle. >> >>Wow, I guess we're all turtles!! >> >> >Shouldn't this be on net.lang.logo? More appropriate: net.lang.slo_go
dbp@dataio.UUCP (Dave Pellerin) (08/13/85)
>It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to >ask it again than net.bizarre? > > ARE YOU A TURTLE? I haven't heard that question asked since junior high school !! Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?? A. His head !! Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??
crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) (08/16/85)
In article <432@petfe.UUCP> evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) writes: >> ARE YOU A TURTLE? > >You bet your sweet ass I am. > >1) I really couldn't help myself. I HAD to post this. > >2) Please pardon the 'bad language' (I know that the word 'bet' offends >some people, but hey, sometimes you just gotta say 'what the f--k). Tho >I never did figure out how to pronounce the 2 dashes. You pronounce them as "w" -- that is, f--k is pronounced /fwwk/. Hope this helps. -- Charlie Martin (...mcnc!duke!crm)
lorien@mhuxn.UUCP (CONWAY) (08/20/85)
> >It's been a while since this has been asked. What better place to > >ask it again than net.bizarre? > > > > ARE YOU A TURTLE? > > > I haven't heard that question asked since junior high school !! > > > Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat > on it?? > > > > > > > A. His head !! > > > Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** I remember only two of the Turtle Test questions. They go something like: What does a dog do on three legs, that a man does on two legs, that a woman does sitting down? Shakes hands. What is a four-letter word meaning intercourse? Talk.
vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) (08/21/85)
>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? > >Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat > on it?? > >A. His head !! > > >Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? > I think there are three more questions: Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"? A. TALK Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK? A. FiretrUCK Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? A. Legs. Was that all of them? -- Rob Vollum Data General Corp. Research Triangle Park, NC <the world>!mcnc!rti-sel!rtp47!vollum
andrew@grkermi.UUCP (X. Hollander) (08/23/85)
In article <153@rtp47.UUCP> vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) writes: >>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? >>> . >>> . >>> >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? >> > >I think there are three more questions: > . > . >Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? >A. Legs. > >Was that all of them? I think there were a couple more: Q: What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? A: Chewing gum. Q: What does a dog do on three legs, a man do on two legs, and a woman do sitting down? A: Shake hands.
mcb@ihlpm.UUCP (m. baker) (08/24/85)
> In article <153@rtp47.UUCP> vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) writes: > >>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? You bet your sweet ass I am. > >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? I happen to still have my membership card. It reads as follows: FRONT: International Association of TURTLES Date 3/4/80 This is to certify that Mark C Baker is a member in good standing and will remain so as long as he continues to give the password when asked by a fellow turtle. OFFICIAL Imperial Turtle MEMBERSHIP CARD <signed> S P Turtle BACK: As a member in good standing you can subcribe new Turtles as follows: I. We assume all prospective turtles own a Jack Ass. On this assumption is the reason for the password. This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You must then reply, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password. II. To become an official Turtle you must first solve the following riddles: 1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs? (Answer: Shake Hands) 2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? (Answer: Legs) 3. What is a four letter word ending in K that means the same as intercourse? (Answer: Talk) 4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas you can hang a hat on it? (Answer: His Head) III. You are now a member of the Turtle club. Govern yourself accordingly and procure new members. -- -- Mark
bsc@wuphys.UUCP (Bryan Coughlan) (08/26/85)
>>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? >> >>Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat >> on it?? >>A. His head !! >> >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? > >I think there are three more questions: > >Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"? >A. TALK > >Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK? >A. FiretrUCK > >Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? >A. Legs. > >Was that all of them? >Rob Vollum I remember one other one: Q: What's long, hard and full of semen? A: A submarine. This question is best administered orally! -- Bryan S. Coughlan ( Yes, that's right. My first ihnp4!wuphys!bsc two initials are B.S. ! )
ariels@orca.UUCP (Ariel Shattan) (08/29/85)
> >>> ARE YOU A TURTLE? > >> > >>Q. What sticks so far out of a turtle's pajamas that you can hang a hat > >> on it?? > >>A. His head !! > >> > >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test?? > > > >I think there are three more questions: > > > >Q. What is a four letter word meaning "intercourse"? > >A. TALK > > > >Q. What word starts with the letter F and ends in UCK? > >A. FiretrUCK > > > >Q. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? > >A. Legs. > > > >Was that all of them? > >Rob Vollum > > I remember one other one: > > Q: What's long, hard and full of semen? > A: A submarine. > > Bryan S. Coughlan ( Yes, that's right. My first Then there's: Q: What is it that a man does standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does in three legs? A: Shake hands. Ariel