bobn@bmcg.UUCP (Bob Nebert) (08/29/85)
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EDITOR: BOB "STP" NEBERT VOL # VI 8/29/85 PRICE: WHATEVER YA PAY
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ANYBODY CAN PUT OUT A PAPER... IT TAKES GUTS TO PRINT THIS CRUD
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.....ALASKA FIND OF DINOSAUR BONES CLOUDS THEORY
More than 150 dinosaur bones have been discovered on Alaska's North
Slope, and a scientist says the find casts doubt on the theory that an
asteroid's collision with Earth caused the disappearance of the pre-
historic creatures.
The discovery confirms what footprints and skin impressions long
have hinted - that dinosaurs once roamed the far north when it was a
subtropical swamp.
The theory states a large asteroid collided with the Earth and
caused a huge dust cloud to surround the planet. The darkness that
followed, exterminating some plant and animal species.
The North Slope discovery suggests that dinosaurs, at least some
of them, were adapted to an environment where they had to contend
with six weeks to two months of darkness.
.....HORSE THEFT ARREST MADE
When Laurann Volk returned home at 5:30 she thought the saddled
horse in the front yard belonged to a friend of her son. When she
entered the house she found a transient in her bathroom combing his
hair, wearing her son's windbreaker and in possession of his knives.
"Drop that stuff," she demanded. And he did. He also dropped his
wallet. One phone call to police and he's in jail.
.....RALPH THE TALKING CAT SINGS TOO,
BUT ONLY UPSIDE DOWN ...story of the week
..by Carol Olten
A talking cat?
Sure,sure.
But owner Larry Brandt issists it is true.
Ralph the talking cat has some choice words: "My name is Ralph";
"I'm a good boy"; "I like you"; and "Have you driven a Ford?" (don't
ask me I don't know).
He also sings arias quite well. It is a voice that has a deep,
guttural whine that is definitely not a purr or a meow. You can
distinctly here Ralph putting together sounds and his words and
sentences are credible.
(I can't believe this story and I'm looking at the article)
Ralph does all his talking by imitating his owners voice but why
he only talks and sings upside down is still unexplained.
Ralph started talking as a kitten when he said "La-de-da." And his
vocabulary has been growing since. So far he hasn't picked up any
dirty words says his owner.
.....CUDDLY PET "NUKIE" MAY LAY A BOMBSHELl ...Mark Schwed
There is a man of peace in Florida who wants to put a cuddly
pet thermonuclear warhead in every child's arms.
A "Nukie" is a plump, little velvet bomb with a mischievous smile
and and American Flag for a tail, made just for peace-loving kids and
their warmongering parents.
Michael Schaefer, 30, of Winter Park, Fla., believes the Nukie
could be the hottest new fad in the post-World War II world. The idea
is to boost his financial future and promote world peace.
"This is depraved," said T.James Stark, president of Ottawa-based
Operation Dismantel, Canada's largest peace organization.
.....ANNOUNCEMENT................................ANNOUNCEMENT.........
NEW DEPARTMENT
The staff here at the Gazzette is starting a *new department* called
COLLECTABLES
Everyboby collects something. I collect the 5" high cones that are
placed on top of cars waiting to be repaired. I collect them where
they are found, at the begining of freeway entrances. They are found
there because at that point the car is going fast enough to blow the
cone off the top of the car after the nerd forgot to take it off.
Send the paper your *collectables* and we'll publish some of the rather
bizarre ones. Of course, void where prohibited by law or where more
fun than humans are allowed to have.
after publishing hours----
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