speaker@gymble.UUCP (Speaker to Animals) (08/30/85)
Looks like it's up to me to start net.personals off... Hi.... my name is Speaker. I'm 7 feet tall and weigh a good healthy quarter of a ton. I have orange/red fur with black stripes and VERY cute patches of black fur over the eyes that make me look a bit like a big fat tabby cat... or maybe a lovable panda bear. I enjoy being scratched behind the ears and if you do it just right I might even growl and purr in YOUR ears honey. When I'm not out eviscerating and eating other sentient creatures I may be found pulling an oar on the Viking Ship "Fydraca" now in dockage at Fort Washington Marina on the Piscatoway creek in Maryland. I enjoy bawdy, lurid rowing songs and an occasional severe case of sunstroke. The sunstroke, you see, brings on religious visions which only inspire me on to further acts of incompetence. When the moon is full and I'm feeling truly romantic I like to show my SO the best our planet has to offer...."The Great Caterwailing Wall".... The Caterwailing Wall is a gigantic fence about 50 feet high, stretching for thousands of miles across Kzin. First the Kzinti male leaps onto the wall - upon which thousands of other males are also courting their intended mates - and begins the traditional Kzinti love sonnets.... MMMMMMMRROOOWOWWWAAOOOOARRRRRROOWWW.... MMMEEEEWWORORORROORRWWWWWWWW.... FITH FTTT FTT FTTTTT MMMMWWEEEEOOORRWWWWWW.... (Geee... that brings back memories) Then, at the PEAK of the ritual - when the moon is full and the females are suitably appalled - a gigantic shoe measuring some 10 feet across is catapulted at the male, knocking him head over heels into the arms of his love. If the male REALLY wants to make an impression, an enormous steam-iron or pail of water is used. And you know.... there's nothing like the smell of soaking wet Kzinti fur to spur the passions. Older Kzinti males enjoy mounting the wall and just falling off for old times sake. Marion's theme. -- seismo!umcp-cs!gymble!speaker - Speaker "Some suspect that the great wall of china on Earth is in fact a Kzinti wailing wall erected by ancient Kzinti colonists."