bobn@bmcg.UUCP (Bob Nebert) (09/03/85)
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EDITOR: BOB "STP" NEBERT VOL # VII 9/03/85 PRICE: WHATEVER YA PAY
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ANYBODY CAN PUT OUT A PAPER... IT TAKES GUTS TO PRINT THIS CRUD
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.....ISLAND VISIT HAD HAUNTING EFFECT ...Ken Hudson
While going to the Western Pacific in Feb. 1984, Josey Silva stopped
his aging tuna ship, the Jo Ann, at the idyllic island of Palmyra.
He paid no attention to what sailors and tuna fisherman call the
Palmyra Curse. Maybe he should have!
* The 39-year old Jo Ann got caught on a coral reef and almost sank.
* The Samoan crew staged a near uprising after one crewman went berserk.
* The main net was lost in a storm and Silva had to fly home to San
Diego and mortgage his home to raise money for a new one.
* Fishing was lousy.
* A storm and two shipboard fires stretched a homeward trip of two
weeks into a two-month ordeal.
Finally he made it back to San Diego where he was safe. Wrong
His ship is docked at G Street where three crewmen are not allowed
to depart according to U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.
The crewmen are a Western Samoan, a Peruvian and a German. Silva doesn't
have the $2000 it takes to cruise down to Mexico to let them off.
.....RHINO FOR SALE
Sealed bids were opened Aug 30 to sell a paper-mache rhino. The
rhino may be inspected in the Public Affairs (talk about a contradiction
in terms) Offices.
The rhino was found in the grass median near a local bridge and the
minimum bid is $25.
.....GOLD NUGGETS
Benny Left Hand (his name) said a pea size lump his wife, Lorraine
found in a chicken that she was butchering weighs about an ounce and
is valued at $500. It is gold.
"I'd like to get hold of some more." said Left Hand, who is afraid
that gold seekers might start stealing his chickens. (beat that McNugget)
.....POLICE LED ON A MERRY GOOSE CHASE
For months William V. Scott zipped along city streets in a $900
motorized three-wheeler, running stop signs and darting in the
opposite direction every time he saw a police car. He didn't have
to worry about getting a ticket cause he is only four years old.
"William can fly on that little thing." says Officer J.M. Liptrap,
"If he sees a police car he just automatically takes off. All you can
do is follow and hope he slows down."
Williams latest brush with the law came as he barreled through
the streets of a subdivision, hunched over the handlebars of the
light blue three-wheeler, the tip of his white helmet just about
even with most car fenders.
"He was running stop signs, just booking right down the middle
of the street," Liptrap said. "We're talking speeds of about 30
and 35 MPH."
However his mother is charged with a felony count of child
neglect for letting William ride like the wind.
.....HMMMMMMMMMM
The average life of a car-chasing dog is 1.5 year.
Around the world the most universally used word in any
language is " OK ".
An Army office ordered a $6.04 lamp, so of course a 14.5 ton
Navy anchor valued at $28,555 was delivered.
.....ZUCCHINI IN SPACE??? ...story of the week
The no-nuke protesters will be out numbered this weekend at the
International Zucchini Festival in Keene, New Hampshire (where else?).
Organizers of the event are asking Christa McAuliffe, a Concord
high school teacher chosen by NASA to ride the space shuttle, to take
a prize winning zucchini from the festival on her Jan 22 flight. The
honored zuke will be selected in the "best zucchini prepared for space
travel" competition. The Zucchini Central Committee (what?) said if
McAuliffe agrees, the winner will not be allowed as an entry in the
1986 festival's farthest-traveled zucchini exhibit.
This year's festival at Keene State College will have an academic
air. The theme is "Zucchini Goes to College" and will feature
competition for the biggest zucchini on campus, most sophomoric
zucchini, best alma mater song for Zucchini State University, zucchini
touch football and the greased zucchini toss.