ward@ttidcc.UUCP (Don Ward) (09/04/85)
Zenith, n. A point in the heavens directly overhead to a standing man or a
growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered
as having a zenith, though from this point of view there was once a
considerable dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of
the body was immaterial. These were called Horizontalists, their
opponents, Verticalists. The Horizontalist heresy was finally
extinguished by Xanobus, the philosopher-king of Abara, a zealous
Verticalist. Entering an assembly of philosophers who were debating the
matter, he cast a severed human head at the feet of his opponents and
asked them to determine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging
by the heels outside. Observing that it was the head of their leader, the
Horizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whatever
opinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took its
place among fides defuncti.
from The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce