heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) (08/26/85)
Many people are not aware of the following interesting fact: If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds.
moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (08/30/85)
In article <1569@trwrba.UUCP> heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) writes: > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. Sure, but try and get Congress to fund it...
evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (08/30/85)
In <1569@trwrba.UUCP> Michael T. Heins writes: > Many people are not aware of the following interesting fact: > > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. Of course, if you do accelerate a cotton ball to that speed, it no longer is ordinary. Good thing my head is larger than normal. (At least that's what my friends tell me.) --Evan Marcus -- {ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan ...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so wonderful, It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so different, It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny, More raisins, lots more raisins, more raisins than you have ever seen before. If you like raisins, lots more raisins, you'll like Post Raisin Bran mo-o-ore. It's probably Post's trademark, but do you care?
speaker@gymble.UUCP (Speaker to Animals) (08/31/85)
In article <1569@trwrba.UUCP> heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) writes: > > Many people are not aware of the following interesting fact: > > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. This doesn't surpise me in the least. What *I* want to know is... "Can you accelerate a cotton ball to any significant velocity and punch a nice clean hole through a human being's head?" The answer to this question will no doubt have great military significance. If your machine was paid for out of a DoD research grant then your findings will no doubt be classified and your news feed will be terminated. Anyone seen the ALV (Autonomous Land Vehicle) with it's gaudy racing stripes? Jeeze! You know how they're going to use this thing as a weapon? They'll simply drive it into a communist city and park it in the middle of the busiest intersection in town.
edward@ukecc.UUCP (Edward C. Bennett) (09/02/85)
In article <462@petfe.UUCP>, evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) writes: > > Good thing my head is larger than normal. (At least that's what my > friends tell me.) > --Evan Marcus In an review of a Bruce concert you said you are short. Now you say you have a large head. Are you sure Steven Spielburg didn't make a movie about you three years ago? I nominate Evan for our bizarre mascot! #include <this-is-just-a-joke-Evan.h> -- Edward C. Bennett UUCP: ihnp4!cbosgd!ukma!ukecc!edward /* A charter member of the Scooter bunch */
kaufman@uiucdcs.Uiuc.ARPA (09/05/85)
> In an review of a Bruce concert you said you are short. Now > you say you have a large head. Are you sure Steven Spielburg didn't > make a movie about you three years ago? No. He's been working as an assistant to Dangermouse. :-)
bill@persci.UUCP (09/05/85)
In article <1569@trwrba.UUCP> heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) writes: > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. Yes, but is it re-usable? -- These opinions are not intended to be representative of my employer, nor of any site or company involved, wittingly or otherwise, in the dissemination of the foregoing opinions.
fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) (09/06/85)
> From: speaker@gymble.UUCP (Speaker to Animals) > Message-ID: <302@gymble.UUCP> > > In article <1569@trwrba.UUCP> heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) writes: > > > > Many people are not aware of the following interesting fact: > > > > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. > > This doesn't surpise me in the least. What *I* want to know is... > "Can you accelerate a cotton ball to any significant velocity and punch > a nice clean hole through a human being's head?" . . . I find it far more effective to accelerate my intended victim's head to .75 the speed of light, and aim it at a brick wall. I did this to Speaker once, and now all he does is post messages to net.bizarre. -- All characters mentioned herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual characters, ASCII or EBCDIC is purely coincidental. Fred Blonder (301) 454-7690 Fred@Maryland.{ARPA,CSNet} seismo!umcp-cs!fred
speaker@gymble.UUCP (Speaker to Animals) (09/06/85)
In article <313@gymble.UUCP> fred@gymble.UUCP (Fred Blonder) writes: >> >> This doesn't surpise me in the least. What *I* want to know is... >> "Can you accelerate a cotton ball to any significant velocity and punch >> a nice clean hole through a human being's head?" . . . > > I find it far more effective to accelerate my intended victim's head to > .75 the speed of light, and aim it at a brick wall. I did this to > Speaker once, and now all he does is post messages to net.bizarre. Ho ho ho that's rich I'll say zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... It is, of course, impossible to punch a clean hole in Fred's head since his cranium is completely filled with cotten. Nice fuzzy, soft cotten. Now you MIGHT just be able to accelerate a projectile through his cranium and manage to make a crisp round hole... but the cotten would come flying out the other side and make a mess of the room. It would also stick out the back of his head in tangled yard-long strands sort of like some kind of new-wave punk haircut... Not to mention the awful smell of singed fiber all over the place.
thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) (09/08/85)
From: heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) Message-ID: <1569@trwrba.UUCP> > If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed > of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing > a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. This explains a bit of a movie I saw recently. A tough cop was staring down at a bank robber; the criminal was clearly considering reaching for his gun. The cop said: I don't rightly remember whether I've taken five or six shots. But considering that this is the Puff-Pusher 666, the most powerful cotton ball accelerator ever made, the question you have to ask yourself is, "Do I feel lucky?" -- Steve Thiel ...ihnp4!ut-sally!ut-ngp!thiel Bob, where Carol had had "had," had had "had had"; "had had" had had the teacher's approval.
george@sysvis (09/11/85)
>> In article <1569@trwrba.UUCP> heins@trwrba.UUCP (Michael T. Heins) writes: >> If you accelerate an ordinary cotton ball to 0.75 the speed >> of light in a vacuum, it is capable of completely vaporizing >> a normal size human head in less than 50 milliseconds. >Yes, but is it re-usable? Neither the human head nor the cotton ball is considered re-usable by most careful experimenters. The accelerator itself may be re-used, but with caution around the "on" switch (which way it is pointing to accelerate or not). It has also been found that the vacuum sucks highly of you and that the speed of light is not made with ether. The .75 can be used in other contexts and may also be called up as "6 bits". The original milliseconds leaked away into the sucking vacuum through the light hole, but they are easily replaceable. 50 is 8 more than 42, the answer. Any more qvestions, kvetch? Note that ve are declining to define "normal" or "ordinary" from your bizarrity.