[net.bizarre] Mouse Execution.

jlt@styx.UUCP (John L. Thomas) (01/01/70)

> >In my defense, I must say that killing a mouse in a disposal, while being
> >bizzarre, is no more cruel than using an ordinary trap.
> 
> Hey, don't apologize.  Anyway, you were obviously provoked.  Sounds fair
> to me.  By the way, have you ever tried torching cockroaches?  When they
> crawl up your nose while you're asleep, it makes you want to do that.
> -- 

Actually, I like throwing sofas at spiders.  Unfortunately I miss most of
the time.  Maybe if I tried an sidearm throw?

John	
-- 


ARPA		jlt@styx
UUCP		...!seismo!lognet2!styx!jlt
Deathstar	(415) 423-6029
USNail		John L. Thomas  MS-L275
		POB 808
		Livermore, CA  94550

    * * * I deny that the preceeding has any relation to reality. * * *

ee161bep@sdcc3.UUCP (Paul Van de Graaf) (09/02/85)

In article <2966@sdcc3.UUCP> I wrote:

>Death to slugs and other vermin!  Reminds me of the time I chased a mouse
>into the garbage disposal.  Yep, without a thought I hit the switch and that 
>little mousie was hamburger!  Made interesting crunching sounds.  Anyone have
>any other confessions as to their cruelty to God's little creatures.
>
> Paul van de Graaf		sdcsvax!sdcc3!ee161bep		U. C. San Diego

I have received more than my share of hate mail in response to this posting.
Rather than respond by mail to all my fans, I bring my grievences here, to our
forum:  "The Stupid People's Court!"

On the evening of the mouse execution, I heard a mouse scratching and gnawing at
some boxes in the cupboard immediately above my kitchen sink.  As we had a
profound mouse problem at the time (4 traps, each filled for 3 days straight!),
I decided to investigate.  Within I found a dirty foul-smelling mouse chewing
through a box of crackers.  When it saw me, it hid behind some boxes.  I pulled
the boxes away, and the mouse (knowing it had no-where to hide) lept into the
sink and down into the garbage disposal.  Being fed-up with piles of mouse
droppings in the cupboards, and unsure of what the mouse would do to my
plumbing, I did the sensible thing-- I flipped the switch.

In my defense, I must say that killing a mouse in a disposal, while being
bizzarre, is no more cruel than using an ordinary trap.  In fact I heard none of
the usual scratching and squeeking which usually accompanies the death of a
mouse in a normal trap.  Also, I have never in my life salted a slug.  I once
stepped on a rather large slug while BAREFOOT!  If I had know about salting
slugs at the time, I might have considered it.  Since then I take to wearing
shoes when walking on wet grass, and have not had a problem with slugs since.

What's Usenet coming to anyway, a haven for militant animal rights groups?
I await Judge "Wop-em-up-side-da-head's" verdict.

Paul van de Graaf 	sdcsvax!sdcc3!ee161bep		U. C. San Diego

moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Judge Moriarty Wapner) (09/05/85)

In article <2976@sdcc3.UUCP> ee161bep@sdcc3.UUCP (Paul Van de Graaf) writes:
>What's Usenet coming to anyway, a haven for militant animal rights groups?
>I await Judge "Wop-em-up-side-da-head's" verdict.

Cripes!  Can't you people understand that you have to make up your own minds
once in a while!  This is the REAL (Bizarre) WORLD!  This is a DEMOCRACY!
You can't keep expecting answers from me about these things!  You've got to
**MAKE UP YOUR OWN MINDS**!!!!!!!




...But, since you asked, I tend to release people on probation for anything
less than tying mice to arrows, dipping them in gasoline, igniting them, and
then using them for storming castles (especially White Castles).

  If you've got a flame, don't take it to the net.  Take it to court.

		   ****** STUPID PEOPLE'S COURT!! ******

					Judge Moriarty Wapner
					Stupid People's Court
ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA
UUCP: {uw-beaver, sun, allegra, sb1, lbl-csam}!fluke!moriarty

wjr@x.UUCP (Bill Richard) (09/06/85)

DISCLAIMER:  This article posted by STella Calvert of the Church of the Holy
Starship.  I can be reached via decvax!frog!wjr, but I'm me.

In article <2976@sdcc3.UUCP> ee161bep@sdcc3.UUCP (Paul Van de Graaf) writes:
>In article <2966@sdcc3.UUCP> I wrote:
>>Death to slugs and other vermin!  Reminds me of the time I chased a mouse
>>into the garbage disposal.  Yep, without a thought I hit the switch and that
>>little mousie was hamburger! Made interesting crunching sounds. Anyone have

>I have received more than my share of hate mail in response to this posting.
>Rather than respond by mail to all my fans, I bring my grievances here, to our
>forum:  "The Stupid People's Court!"
>
>On the evening of the mouse execution, I heard a mouse scratching and gnawing at
>some boxes in the cupboard immediately above my kitchen sink.  As we had a
>profound mouse problem at the time (4 traps, each filled for 3 days straight!),
>I decided to investigate.  Within I found a dirty foul-smelling mouse chewing
>through a box of crackers.  [. . .]
>plumbing, I did the sensible thing-- I flipped the switch.
>
>I await Judge "Wop-em-up-side-da-head's" verdict.
>
>Paul van de Graaf 	sdcsvax!sdcc3!ee161bep		U. C. San Diego
>
Perhaps you would accept religious advice from the Left Reverend STella
Calvert of the Church of the Holy Starship.  The mouse was invading your
territory, stealing from you by force (of numbers).  Your action was correct.
If the general organizing device ("god") liked mice, why did it make cats so
fertile?

What did the SP suggest you do?  Put the little sucker in a shoebox and take
it out for pizza?  (If you do, I suggest a sealskin and first edition pizza --
all the mice I've met love them!)  I suspect that what really got to these SPs
wasn't that you osterized it, but that you enjoyed it.  And if their objection
IS that you enjoyed it, that's really bizarre! If you've got to kill mice, it
might as well be fun.  (Try painting little crosses on the mice and throwing
them in the bathtub with a cat -- lions and Christians! (That ought to divert
some of the stupid flames from you to me! :-))

Seriously, though I let the cats handle rodent problems, I suspect most mice
would rather be zizzed in a disposall than fall into the paws of my cats.


				STella Calvert
				(guest on ...!decvax!frog!wjr)

		Every man and every woman is a star.

crandell@ut-sally.UUCP (Jim Crandell) (09/06/85)

>In my defense, I must say that killing a mouse in a disposal, while being
>bizzarre, is no more cruel than using an ordinary trap.

Hey, don't apologize.  Anyway, you were obviously provoked.  Sounds fair
to me.  By the way, have you ever tried torching cockroaches?  When they
crawl up your nose while you're asleep, it makes you want to do that.
-- 

    Jim Crandell, C. S. Dept., The University of Texas at Austin
               {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!crandell

speaker@gymble.UUCP (Speaker to Animals) (09/10/85)

In article <2612@vax4.fluke.UUCP> moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Judge Moriarty Wapner) writes:
>
> Cripes!  Can't you people understand that you have to make up your own minds
> once in a while!  This is the REAL (Bizarre) WORLD!  This is a DEMOCRACY!
> You can't keep expecting answers from me about these things!  You've got to
> **MAKE UP YOUR OWN MINDS**!!!!!!!

Okay... anything you say.

george@sysvis (09/12/85)

>Death to slugs and other vermin!  Reminds me of the time I chased a mouse
>into the garbage disposal.  Yep, without a thought I hit the switch and that 
>little mousie was hamburger!  Made interesting crunching sounds.  Anyone have
>any other confessions as to their cruelty to God's little creatures.
>
> Paul van de Graaf		sdcsvax!sdcc3!ee161bep		U. C. San Diego

Was this then "The Mouse that Roared"?

goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum) (09/19/85)

>> 
>> Hey, don't apologize.  Anyway, you were obviously provoked.  Sounds fair
>> to me.  By the way, have you ever tried torching cockroaches?  When they
>> crawl up your nose while you're asleep, it makes you want to do that.
>> -- 
>-- 
>
>
	I, for one, would prefer not to torch a cockroach that had just
crawled up my nose.

george@sysvis (09/24/85)

>>> 
>>> Hey, don't apologize.  Anyway, you were obviously provoked.  Sounds fair
>>> to me.  By the way, have you ever tried torching cockroaches?  When they
>>> crawl up your nose while you're asleep, it makes you want to do that.
>>> -- 
>>-- 
> 	I, for one, would prefer not to torch a cockroach that had just
> crawled up my nose.

Why not?  It sure has a tendency to warm your cockles, so to speak.