[net.bizarre] Bizarre Alchemy

al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski) (09/28/85)

<>
The following information is paraphrased from an Arizona Republic article
published 9/27/85.  I do not know if the wire services have picked it up.
--------------------------------------------
In Prescott, AZ, Horst Joetzki, 55, who emigrated from Germany 31 years
ago, testified in court as to the circumstances of his recent kidnapping.
Mr. Joetzki is the owner and operator of the Desert Rock Shop and
Havasu Metals, Inc. in Lake Havasu city.  He was allegedly kidnapped by his
creditors and held for ransom. During the course of the trial, Joetzki
explained some of the details of his "Metal Extraction" techniques.

According to Joetzki, "The Scriptures tell us King Solomon used as many as
300 women to make gold as plentiful as rocks.  This is because women
are about 100 times stronger than men"

Last fall, Joetzki hired 9 women at $1200 a month to help him "transform
transitory metals, such as rock, into Gold" using a method he has been
researching since 1955.

The technique involves three women at a time sitting around a kiln.
The energy flow from the women (estimated at up to 170,000 "electropoints")
transformed the rocks and chemicals in the kiln into gold.  Joetzki has
produced 4 or 5 grams of gold in this way.  The energy flow must be 
carefully regulated, however.  It is measured with a divining rod made out
of a coat hanger.  If more energy is desired, the women spread their legs;
to reduce the energy flux, they put their legs together.  Sexual arousal
of the women, Joetzki explained, would have created enormous energy flux,
but he did not encourage this. The women were not, however, allowed to
wear underpants.

For some unexplained reason, Joetzki was not as successful at this venture
as he had planned and owed large amounts of back pay to his workers, for
which they kidnapped him and his family. One of his family members
escaped and called the police, who arrested the kidnappers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alan Filipski, UNIX group, Motorola Microsystems, Tempe, AZ U.S.A
{seismo|ihnp4}!ut-sally!oakhill!mot!al  |   ucbvax!arizona!asuvax!mot!al
------------------------------------------------------------------------