[net.bizarre] A Solution to the World Hunger Crisis

dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (09/20/85)

A few days ago I was eating my Fish 'n' Chips from Captain D's,
and as usual I threw aside the pukey Fancy Ketchup and whatever
that other abominable sauce is that they pack with it. But then it
suddenly occurred to me to wonder how many other people simply throw
away all those putrid condiments that fast-food places pack with
their meals? Surely nobody actually puts that stuff on their food!
If most people are like me, then it can be shown that Americans throw
away enough food every day to feed the rest of the world. What if we
all took the stuff we normally throw away and donate it to the starving
children in (INSERT FAVOURITE COUNTRY HERE)? We could solve the world
hunger crisis with throwaways from junk food! We could call it...
			JUNK AID!

Sure, we may not like it, and it may not be extremely nutritous by
itself. But those poor starving people have to subsist on wheat and
rice and other primitive foods, and these little ketchup and sauce
containers could really help make that food more palatable, if nothing
else. And many things we throw away are nutritious in themselves.

How many times have you ordered fries and walked away with an armload
of ketchup that weighed more than the fries, and had to throw most of
it away, or leave it on the table at the fast-food place for someone's
little kids to pick up and spurt at each other? What a waste!

I propose that we start a list of things we could donate to our 
favourite starving countries. Things we get with our fast food, or get
free in the mail, that we just throw away cold-heartedly. I'll start
it out with the stuff I throw away:



(1) Fancy Ketchup from Captain D's

(2) Abominable sauce from Captain D's

(3) Fork and napkin from various places (I eat with my hands and lick
	my fingers)

(4) Horsey Sauce from Arby's (Yucch!)

(5) Fries from Mrs. Winner's (Virtually inedible, but comes with
	most dinners, and might be acceptable if you're starving)

(6) Parsely or kale from Shoney's

(7) The awful "snacks" they serve you on airlines

(8) The awful "dinners" they serve you on airlines

(9) The skin off your baked potato

(10) New Coke  (They pass this off on you when you order a drink at most
	fast-food joints, and by the time you discover the switch it's
	too late. Save that Coke! Starving people need to drink too!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Kirby    ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave)

(The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect 
those of RCA Cylix. They may not even reflect my own.)

charli@cylixd.UUCP (Charli Phillips) (09/20/85)

>			JUNK AID!
>
>I propose that we start a list of things we could donate to our 
>favourite starving countries. Things we get with our fast food, or get
>free in the mail, that we just throw away cold-heartedly. I'll start
>it out with the stuff I throw away:
>
>(1) Fancy Ketchup from Captain D's
>
>(2) Abominable sauce from Captain D's
>
> [and so on]

How about french fries from Wendy's?  They're the only ones I've
ever had that are actually improved by ketchup.

And how about cole slaw in a little plastic cup from almost anywhere?

eklhad@ihnet.UUCP (K. A. Dahlke) (09/22/85)

>			JUNK AID!
> I propose that we start a list of things we could donate to our 
> favorite starving countries. Things we get with our fast food,
> that we just throw away cold-heartedly.

How about those potatoes (and gravy?) from KFC.
Now I like KFC chicken, but wouldn't (or maybe just might)
be caught dead eating those fake potatoes.
-- 
	This .signature file intentionally left blank.
		Karl Dahlke    ihnp4!ihnet!eklhad

ccs012@ucdavis.UUCP (Sam McCall) (09/23/85)

> ... 
> I propose that we start a list of things we could donate to our 
> favourite starving countries. Things we get with our fast food, or get
> free in the mail, that we just throw away cold-heartedly. I'll start
> it out with the stuff I throw away:
> ...
> 
> (4) Horsey Sauce from Arby's (Yucch!)
> 

	I have a little tale to tell about this wonderful glop
	called Horsey Sauce.  My friends and I were returning
	from a fraternity gathering in Los Angeles, and we stopped
	at an Arby's to get some food for the road.  One of my
	traveling companions snagged a container of this 'stuff',
	and as we drove through the Santa Monica mountains, he
	sprayed other cars with it (my apologies if any of you
	out there were victims of this).  Well, of course my
	car got sprayed with this, and when I attempted to wash
	it the next day, I found that this Horsey Sauce left a
	very pernacious residue on my paint job that refused to
	come off, even after 10 washings over a 2-1/2 month 
	period.  It eventually wore down, and today I can just
	barely tell that it was even there.  I suspect that the
	residue was probably due to guar gum.  Anyone else have
	theories to its real formula???

	sam mccall


-- 
===============================================================================
Sam A. McCall III				University of California, Davis
...!ucbvax!ucdavis!deneb!ccs012

Disclaimer:	Yep.  I represent all of the University of California
		schools.  Sue me.  See if I care.

Silly Quote:	"Buckaroo, it's the President on the phone.
			The President of what?
		The United States.
			Here, hold this.
		Later."
				--Buckaroo Banzai

		*** THIS MESSAGE IS BIODEGRADABLE ***

jomibase@ihu1h.UUCP (opperman) (09/23/85)

Heck with the garbage disposals, feed 'em the frogs!
-- 

			C.J. Opperman
			ihu1h!jomibase
			IH 4H303 x5014
			uucp: ihnp4!ihu1h!jomibase
			

oleg@birtch.UUCP (Oleg Kiselev x258) (10/02/85)

> >			JUNK AID!
> >
> >I propose that we start a list of things we could donate to our 
> >favourite starving countries. Things we get with our fast food, or get
> >free in the mail, that we just throw away cold-heartedly. I'll start
> >it out with the stuff I throw away:
> >
> >(1) Fancy Ketchup from Captain D's
> >
> >(2) Abominable sauce from Captain D's
> >
> > [and so on]
> 
> How about french fries from Wendy's?  They're the only ones I've
> ever had that are actually improved by ketchup.
> 
How about french fries from Fatburger? They're the only ones I've ever
had that are *NOT* improved *even* by ketchup!

larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman) (10/07/85)

> 	I have a little tale to tell about this wonderful glop
> 	called Horsey Sauce.  My friends and I were returning
> 	from a fraternity gathering in Los Angeles, and we stopped
> 	at an Arby's to get some food for the road.  One of my
> 	traveling companions snagged a container of this 'stuff',
> 	and as we drove through the Santa Monica mountains, he
> 	sprayed other cars with it (my apologies if any of you
> 	out there were victims of this).  Well, of course my
> 	car got sprayed with this, and when I attempted to wash
> 	it the next day, I found that this Horsey Sauce left a
> 	very pernacious residue on my paint job that refused to
> 	come off, even after 10 washings over a 2-1/2 month 
> 	period.  It eventually wore down, and today I can just
> 	barely tell that it was even there.  I suspect that the
> 	residue was probably due to guar gum.  Anyone else have
> 	theories to its real formula???

	The active ingredient in Horsey Sauce is obvious - casein - made from
ground horses' hooves, of course.  Which explains why the Horsey Sauce glued
itself to your car.


+++  Larry Lippman @ Recognition Research Corp., Clarence, New York        +++
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