robertsl@stolaf.UUCP (Laurence C. Roberts) (09/28/85)
The Usenet Urination Poll Results Well, the results have finally finished trickling in, in a manner of speaking. Most people were pretty clever. And, yes, despite my line encouraging mail-only responses, some dingleberry posted something about real men and sweatsox, which resulted in several of those me-too postings which irritate me even more than a stuck zipper. The person thoughtfully edited out the anti-Re: line, though. Good work!!! Well, I'm still using the hole/slit/opening/pocket in my underwear. So were perhaps two other people on Usenet, and one other person whom I polled in person. Others admitted to using the hole when wearing tuxedos, snowsuits or tutus. On the whole, the results among people-on-the-net were approximately: Hole-users: 3 (counting me) Top-pullersdown: 10 Other interesting results: One woman had taken a poll of 15 male friends and found that none used the hole. One woman used the leghole of her leotard to pee through carefully. One man had never heard of underwear. He did, however, offer the useful suggestion that one should put "it" back in the same way "it" was removed. Several people evidentally misinterpreted the sentence, "Women are wecome (sic) to participate, too," in my original posting. One person felt that I refered to urination ON movies. I meant urination IN movies, and I feel that intention was clear. One person favored the so-called Kangaroo style of underwear, with the horizontal slit. My opinion is that this style causes the little fireman to emerge accidentally. This brings up the coment by one respondent that the flap was for purposes of letting the "little friend" out for air whilst jogging "at the most intriging (sic) moments. A respondent felt that I had my underwear on backwards. Concievably this is why he felt that he required a BIG hole, not, as I said, a little hole. One person insisted that I bought my underwear in Tombstone, Arizona. This person also insisted on telling me an antidote (sick) about urination through a zipper. This could be what one respondent meant by the "direct method". On cold days, he goes over the top, perhaps to avoid stiffly frozen clothing. One 50-year-old responded with a lament about the younger generation. He also used the sentence (repeated here verbatim) "The 'knee bend' maneuver refered to seems to help get your (my) dick back where it belongs afterwards." This caused two of my friends to inquire after the nameless gentleman's sexuality. One respondent suggested that if one's wallet is small enough, it could be stored in the pouch, but most people can't do that sort of thing. The following words were used by respondents to refer to taboo subjects, acts, or objects: peeing, it, shake, hole, threading, "excited" state, urinating, water rays, insturment, personal draining, ......, shorts, dick, flap, kinky, little friend, blender, breifs, briefs, boxer shorts, and "get the animals back in the barn." Thanks to everyone who was courageous enough to respond. I have not used your names because of the nature of the subjects. I suppose it was also impolite not to acknowlege individual responses, so, sorry about that, but by the time I thought about it, it was was too late. If anyone was offended, I advise you to abstain (no pun) from bodily functions for a week before flaming. You know how I feel about re:. I love mail, though. -- Laurence Roberts ...ihnp4!stolaf!robertsl St. Olaf - built on a bluff and operated on the same priciple.
jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos) (10/09/85)
> And, yes, despite my line encouraging mail-only responses, ... > Other interesting results: [my response not included] Gunaxf, Wnpx, vg'f "qvatyroreevrf" yvxr lbh gung PNHFR crbcyr gb olcnff gur znvy-bayl erfcbafr... lbh yrsg bhg zl irel vzcbegnag pbzzrag, rkcynvavat gur bevtva bs gur ubyr, jurerol gur jubyr arg jvyy abj or sberire yrsg va vtabenapr bs gur vzcbegnag pbeeryngvba orgjrra genafirefr ubyr-frnzf naq gur fubegravat bs gur pebgpu-frnz. Urer'f gb qverpg cbfgvatf va gur shgher! > Fg. Byns - ohvyg ba n oyhss naq bcrengrq ba gur fnzr cevpvcyr. Vf guvf gur Byns jub'f "tynq naq ovt"? Ab jbaqre lbh qvqa'g vapyhqr zl erfcbafr... -- Shyy-Anzr: J. Eric Roskos UUCP: Ofc: ..!{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!vax135!petsd!peora!jer Home: ..!{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!vax135!petsd!peora!jerpc!jer US Mail: MS 795; Perkin-Elmer SDC; 2486 Sand Lake Road, Orlando, FL 32809-7642