dipirro@amber.DEC (Are we having fun yet?) (10/11/85)
I'm sure many of you have seen the guy on T.V. (That's Incredible or
some such show) who has been struck by lightning seven times and has the scars
and burnt underwear to prove it. Well, if I continue having my "close encounters
of the shocking kind," I may give him some competition.
During a mild electrical storm in high school, I (stupidly) tried to
unlock my bicycle from a large, metallic light post. Needless to say, a huge
bolt of lightning pierced through the sky at the very instant that my key
entered the lock, striking the pole and sending me flying across the parking
lot unconscious. When I finally opened my eyes and realized that I was lying
on my back in a parking lot with rain pouring down on my face, I felt pretty
lucky to be uninjured...(physically that is)...I found my bicycle lock keys
about 20 feet away and one witness (with jaw dangling in disbelief) who asked
if I was alright...Besides a slight tingling sensation and an overwhelming
desire to watch "The Ten Commandments," I told her I was okay.
I figured that it was mere coincidence when I found myself in my
newly-purchased home several years ago...alone during a severe electrical
storm. I was now a mature adult...refusing to be intimidated by a little
static electricity. I had the stereo cranked, the T.V. on, and many lights
consuming electricity as I exercised in my basement. Suddenly, there was a
bright flash and an explosion. Every lightbulb in the house proceeded to
burst, shattering glass all over the place. At the same time I heard the
sounds of appliances dying in the distance ("what does that sound like,"
you ask...believe me, you'll know if it ever happens to you)...When I
finally built up the courage to venture upstairs to assess the damage, I
was pleased to discover that the T.V. was uninjured although I had lost the
services of all my lights, my microwave oven, my Mr. Coffee, my modem (which
wasn't even plugged into an electric outlet) and my portable phone. However,
there was no physical damage to the house (lightning had not struck it). So
naturally, my homeowners insurance would not cover any damages.
I was beginning to become suspicious of my uncanny ability to attract
lightning, but I still wanted to believe that it was mere coincidence...But
just to be sure, whenever there was an electrical storm of any magnitude, I
would start to unplug various susceptable appliances (starting with the
most expensive ones of course). After several years without incident, I
began to feel pretty silly about my paranoia. I started to get lazy when it
came to unplugging certain things...until last summer when an insignificant
little storm moved into the area and out of nowhere, BANG! Again, light
bulbs exploded and my microwave screamed out for help...to no avail....This
time, fixing the microwave cost me $153 (just little enough for me to pay it
and not go out to buy a new one).
So now I think I have a legitimate reason to be paranoid. In fact,
now that I've written this, my system manager probably won't let me go near
any of our computers, and small children will run away from me during storms.
I don't know if its me (perhaps a high mineral content in my blood or
something resembling a large lightning rod on my person..I wish..), my
house, or if God just has a *bizarre* sense of humor. In any case, does anyone
have a cure for this affliction?...If not a cure, then maybe some practical
use for this talent (I would like to make money off it if possible)?
Steve DiPirro - "I would never advocate the use of drugs or alcohol to
anyone, but they have always worked for me."