al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski) (10/11/85)
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I turned on the TV recently and saw an insipid program called "TV Bloopers
and Practical Jokes" with Ed McMahon and Dick Clark. For a "practical
joke", they invited this chubby little woman (who they kept insisting was
a "star") to some kind of contrived furniture sale at which the furniture
from her own house was being sold. Then they said it was all a big joke
and had a laugh. To me, that's a pretty pathetic excuse for a practical
joke. Almost anything would be funnier.
For example, suppose you kidnapped the entire population of some village
in Albania and flew them in C-41 cargo planes to the Mongolian Plateau
just outside of Ulan Bator, stealing their shoes in the process.
Then you wait for them to walk into the city and start asking for directions
in Albanian and trying to put Albanian Leks into Mongolian pay phones.
The Mongolians have never seen anything like it and don't know whether it's
an invasion or what. Everybody stands around uncomfortably for a long time.
Then a wagon drives by and a toothless old hag springs up in the back,
starts shouting curses and throwing their shoes back at them. When they
put their shoes back on, they discover that the toes of the shoes are filled
with Cheeze Whiz.
Finally you have someone disguised as Enver Hoxha walk up to them and
say "Have you ever seen Dick Clark and Ed McMahon in "TV Bloopers and
Practical Jokes? This toothless old hag is really an actress, etc."
I'd give anything to see the look on their faces. Now THAT's a practical joke.
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Alan Filipski, UNIX group, Motorola Microsystems, Tempe, AZ U.S.A
{seismo|ihnp4}!ut-sally!oakhill!mot!al | ucbvax!arizona!asuvax!mot!al
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P.S. It seems to me that the Bizarreness Coefficient of this group has been
lagging lately. Wake up, afficionados of bizarreness, unless you want to
be awakened by the sound of the jackboots of the net.cops in the
corridors, brandishing warrants from the SPC. Remember, in times of
adversity, "What doesn't kill us makes us stranger".