gts@wjh12.UUCP (G. T. Samson) (10/14/85)
I'm proud to announce the release of a new line of foods by TOTALEX. We,
TotalEx, now produce just about any kind of food you might want to eat, from
the finest peanut butter, mayonnaise, and bread, to our specialties,
TotalEx nuts, ice cream, and syrups, for making the famous "Total
Exhaustion Sundae".
For the curious among you, the TotalEx company was founded in 1983, under
the original title of "Total Exhaustion Foods", selling only staple foods.
Last year, this company diversified from its production of staple foods to
add its line of now-famous snack foods, including "Crispy Death" and "Pain
Crunchies".
TotalEx's last venture before the release of this new line of foods was a
foray into furniture, under the brand name "A Quiet Place To Die". This
venture was not greeted with the same enthusiasm as the snack food line.
Now, though, TotalEx has expanded to sell ALL foods. Anything at all.
Anything from jelly babies to pickled meats. You name it, TotalEx sells
it. You want quality? Well, you'd probably best look elsewhere, but our
slogan says it all.
"TotalEx...
When you're too tired to know the difference."
(TotalEx is *NOT* a division of Beatrice Foods. Nor will we ever be!)
--
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Name: G. T. Samson
Title: The Evil MicroWizard
Quote: "No matter where you go...there you are." -- B. Banzai
Other_Quote: "You speak treason!" "Fluently!" -- The Doctor
ARPA: gts@wjh12 [preferred] OR samson%h-sc4@harvard
{PLEASE, don't reply to samson@h-sc1@harvard!!!}
USMail: Lowell N-43, Harvard U., Cambridge, MA 02138