henrick@ssc-vax.UUCP (John J Henrick) (10/11/83)
HOW WELL ARE WELLERISMS?
Wellerisms are a type of verbal Vaseline which enables the user
to insert a proverb, cliche, or other all-too-familiar expression into
discourse pleasantly, or at least without inflicting undo pain.
A few examples will clarify this:
--"This will make you smart", as the schoolmaster said when he
caned the delinquent student.
--As the ostrich said when it laid the egg on the courthouse
steps, "That remains to be seen."
--In the words of the palsied mohel, "It won't be long now."
The word Wellerism stems from Sam Weller, a character in Dickens'
Pickwick Papers, who used them frequently. In America, their "Golden Age"
extended from 1840 through 1870, but they remained popular long afterward.
In his "Saint" mystery series of the 1930s, Leslie Charteris often put them
in the mouths of the Actress and the Bishop. The 1960s revived them in
a specialized form, the so-called Tom Swiftie; e.g.,
--"Perhaps I can tempt you," said the serpent coilly.
On August 30 last, Johnny Carson used a Wellerism in his monolog.
Having just returned from a brief vacation, he quipped:
"'It's time to get back to work,' as Elizabeth Taylor said
to her bridesmaids."
And during the Emmy awards on September 25, Joan Rivers commented
on a new gown she was wearing as follows:
"'This is something I just got off the rack,' which Joan Crawford
used to say about her daughter."
In spite of some recent sitings, it isn't entirely clear that
Wellerisms are still in widespread use. Therefore I am conducting
a survey to establish whether they are actually alive and well today.
If you have recently heard or currently use Wellerisms, please pass
them along. If you need to use Rot 13 to transmit some of them, so much
the better! And if you do not want your name used as a source in a future
report of this research, just indicate this in your communication.
Address all replies to:
uw-beaver! ssc-vax! henrick
Please quote each Wellerism as accurately as possible. In particular,
I am interested in the order in which they are stated; i.e.,
quotation first-speaker second, or vice versa. The examples above illustrate
each of these arrangements. Also try to indicate approximately how long ago
you observed each of your specimens and which you originated yourself.
You are further invited to be inventive and propose new Wellerisms, in each
case identifying them as such.
Many thanks.
John Henrick