robison@eosp1.UUCP (Tobias D. Robison) (08/30/84)
References:
From eosp2!robison Tue Aug 28 21:30:41 1984
To: ergonom
This note is in praise of a very funny cookbook. (Cookbooks
that are even slightly funny are rare.) It is copyright 1964 by
Robert Gilbert (author) and Nola Langner (a witty illustrator),
Published by Simon and Schuster, and may well be out of print.
I can't give you much idea of the illustrations, but here are a few
excerpts to tease your interest. The title of the book is:
Moose Mousse
The section on "Useful Information" contains a number of maxims that
are merely silly, but there is this excellent piece of advice:
Plastic refrigerator-storage bowls are perfect for keeping
left-overs in until you have time to throw them away.
The section on eggs contains these instructions for Smoked Eggs:
Punch a tiny hole into each end of egg and blow smoke through.
When smoke begins to appear at the opposite end, the egg is
ready. (Do not utilize menthol-flavored cigarettes for this;
the result will be disgusting.) Then prepare the eggs in any
way you wish.
The cereal section has this recipe for Dottle Gruel:
Soak 4 cups of dottle in a bit of water overnight and simmer
in an iron pot for 20 minutes just prior to serving. Dottle is
generally unavailable in the better shops, so you had better
plan ahead. Serve with brown sugar and cream.
There is a fine section of ethnic recipes. I regret that the ASCII
character set lacks every last one of the graphics needed to present
to you the Greek, Chinese, and Indian recipes. The meat section
tells you how to make Potted Liver:
12 chicken livers potter's wheel
onions salt
Finely chop the livers and wedge into a firm mass so no air
bubbles remain. Throw a wide bowl, and fire in a medium oven.
Fill with cream-cheese roses (see page 118) and serve on a
large inedible platter. Chill before serving.
The meat section does not include one of those pictures of a steer
divided into sections to show the various cuts. However, it does
contain a map of a steer, upon which is superimposed a map of the
United States. (One of our friends, viewing this picture, commented,
"I'm not sure I approve of Florida.") This section tells you how to
make Seared Roebuck, Gnu's Knees (Genoux do Gnu), and also contains
the title recipe:
Moose Mousse
Pass a moose through a fine seive, add 3 beaten egg whites and
a cup of light cream. Stir thoroughly and put into individual
% . Serve 53, more or less.
There is an appropriate section on Hors , and then we come to
desserts such as: Chicken-Flavored Brownies:
Follow recipe for brownies from any old cookbook -- you must
have others -- but add 2 chicken y cubes for each square
of bitter chocolate used.
For some reason, the recipe for Phoenix pie is also in the dessert
section. The Fish and Birds section has a recipe for de
Grenouille ("wouldn't you be just too happy to stop wasting all those
frog's arms just because nobody has ever written a recipe for them?")
The book is crammed with many other useful bits of information.
I'm sure that everyone who is able to resist actually trying out any
of the recipes will enjoy it.
- Toby Robison (not Robinson!)
decvax!ittvax!eosp1!robison
or: allegra!eosp1!robison
P.S: "Dottle" is the stuff you clean out of pipes after smoking.