seb@ahutb.UUCP (seb) (03/19/85)
There have been thousands of self-help books and personally I never put much stock in them. I'm sure they've helped some people, but I never thought about reading them. But I happened to see Dr. Irene C. Kassorla on Live at Five and my impression of her was so positive that I went out and bought her book. The book is called "Go For It!" and it's supposed to be a how-to for winning at love, work and play. A tall order if you ask me. I found the book very interesting. It wasn't that what she says is new, exactly. It's the way she applies it all to our lives. She says anyone can be a winner. A winner is someone who is happy and successful. This doesn't mean that you have a lot of money, or fame. It means you have achieved the goals that you have set out for yourself. Not the goals that your parents and friends and neighbors and society want you to achieve. YOUR GOALS - what you really want out of life. She has found in her studies(she's a doctor of psychology) that people who are successful have similar ways with dealing with failure. They are positive about life. They don't give up. They never say "it can't be done." They find a way to do it. They keep on trying different avenues until they find what they want. They take the less familiar road to see if things improve. But so what? You say "Heck, that's not in my personality. I just can't stand failure." Dr. Kassorla says change your personality then. Why should you be stuck in the same old rut that just isn't bringing you the success and happiness you deserve? Of course, it isn't easy and she knows that. But you should not be intimidated by that. She shows you ways to change the way you look at yourself and the world, how to communicate more effectively, how to be honest with yourself and others. She says that these are all essential attributes of a winner. Many times in the book I thought to myself "I've done that" or "I've thought that." And I've wondered how do I stop doing that. And she tells you how. That is what I found most interesting. For instance, telling someone you love that what they're doing really bothers you. You don't want to nag. Some- times you don't want to tell them at all because you're afraid they will reject you. But if you don't tell them, you will be miserable with this thing eating away inside of you. Her solution is to make sure that you do everything in a very positive manner. Everytime you criticize make sure that you also give a good dose of praise. People respond better when they're praised. I can't really tell you everything about her techniques. You'll just have to read the book to get it all. Sometimes she gets a little cutsey, but there is so much interesting information and insights that I didn't mind. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to make their life better. I think it would be particularly helpful for some of the readers of net.singles. Sometimes reading the book I thought she was talking about some of our popular net personalities! The book again is "Go For It" by Dr. Irene C. Kassorla. It is published by Dell paperbacks, 1984 Sharon Badian