jmsellens@watmath.UUCP (John M Sellens) (04/16/85)
The April/85 Esquire contains a review written by James Kaplan of Sidney Sheldon's latest book "If Tomorrow Comes". The review itself is entertaining, but some of the best stuff is the quotes Kaplan has selected from the book. The following are a few examples of Sheldon's writing. Kaplan calls Sheldon "the most distinctive prose stylist since Ring Lardner" and I think you'll agree. He heard a shout behind him and felt a knife sing past his head. Zing! Another, and then he was out of range. He dressed in a culvert, pulling his shirt and pants over the sticky Jell-O, and squished his way to the depot, where he caught the first bus out of town. Six months later, he was in Vietnam. While the audience stood hushed, Boris Melnikov reached across the board and played the queen's gambit decline opening, moving his queen pawn two squares. The idea of a stable homelife and children was suddenly immensely appealing. It seemed to him that ever since he could remember, he had been running. It was time to stop. They were married in the town hall in Tahiti three days later. His first sexual experience was with a pretty contortionist, and for years she was the high-water mark that other women had to live up to. Between here rapidly flicking tongue and the friction of the warm, viscous Jell-O, it was an erotic experience beyond description. In the middle of it, the bathroom door flew open and the Great Zorbini strode in. The estate appeared vastly different from the way it had looked the evening before, when it was brightly lit and crowded with laughing guests. Now everything was dark and bleak. When Joe Romano saw the television news, he laughed aloud. The Whitney girl was a lucky bitch. I'll bet prison was good for her. She must be really horny by now. Maybe one day we'll meet again. For an ungaurded moment, Tracy's mind embraced the memory of the walls of the penitentiary, and she gave an involuntary shiver. When Tracy walked into the terminal, it seemed to her that everyone was staring at her accusingly. That's what a guilty conscience does, she thought.
cjh@petsd.UUCP (Chris Henrich) (04/17/85)
[] > The April/85 Esquire contains a review written by James Kaplan > of Sidney Sheldon's latest book "If Tomorrow Comes". The review > itself is entertaining, but some of the best stuff is the quotes > Kaplan has selected from the book. The following are a few examples > of Sheldon's writing. Kaplan calls Sheldon "the most distinctive > prose stylist since Ring Lardner" and I think you'll agree. > > > He heard a shout behind him and felt a knife sing past his head. > Zing! Another, and then he was out of range. He dressed in a culvert, > pulling his shirt and pants over the sticky Jell-O, and squished his > way to the depot, where he caught the first bus out of town. > Six months later, he was in Vietnam. This guy should walk away with the Bulwer-Lytton prizes for the next few years. The Bulwer-Lytton contest is explained in arecently published book: contestants submit the opening sentence of what they imagine as the "World's Worst Novel." In an allied contest, the closing sentence is submitted. By the way, was that a tailor-made culvert, or an off-the-shelf polyester thing from Alexander's? Regards, Chris -- Full-Name: Christopher J. Henrich UUCP: ..!(cornell | ariel | ukc | houxz)!vax135!petsd!cjh US Mail: MS 313; Perkin-Elmer; 106 Apple St; Tinton Falls, NJ 07724 Phone: (201) 758-7288
wfi@unc.UUCP (William F. Ingogly) (04/18/85)
> ... Kaplan calls Sheldon "the most distinctive > prose stylist since Ring Lardner" and I think you'll agree. Why not? The quotes speak for themselves. > ... sticky Jell-O, and squished his > way to the depot, where he caught the first bus out of town. > Six months later, he was in Vietnam. > The idea of a stable homelife and children was suddenly immensely > appealing. It seemed to him that ever since he could remember, he > had been running. It was time to stop. > They were married in the town hall in Tahiti three days later. > Between here rapidly flicking tongue and the friction of the warm, > viscous Jell-O, it was an erotic experience beyond description. In > the middle of it, the bathroom door flew open and the Great Zorbini > strode in. Sam and Amy were ecstatic; they could hardly restrain their joyous laughter as they crossed the busy street to get their marriage license. It seemed like the whole world was watching over them, wishing them well in their new life. Suddenly, they were run over by a truck. > For an ungaurded moment, Tracy's mind embraced the memory of the walls > of the penitentiary, and she gave an involuntary shiver. I'm curious; what exactly does a mind embrace a memory with? And a big :-) :-) to you too. -- Bill Ingogly
chabot@miles.DEC (Bits is Bits) (04/23/85)
I don't know...those quotes sound like they'd be good to send in to the contest for the worst opening sentence of a novel--Sheldon's got some real zingers there. But, the deadline for this year is already past. I'd rather be reading Jane Austen... "Only the mockingbird sings at the edge of the woods." L S Chabot ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot chabot%amber.DEC@decwrl.ARPA DEC, LMO4/H4, 150 Locke Drive, Marlborough, MA 01752