[net.religion] A few questions

jonw (03/29/83)

This newsgroup is such a great source of truth and wisdom that I thought I
might prevail upon some of the more scientific-minded biblical literalists to
answer a few questions that have long puzzled me.  If any of these questions
appear flippant, let me assure that I am interested in sincere and *succinct*
answers.

1.  If God created man in his own image, which race does he most closely
resemble?  Does he appear to be an old man or a young man?  If he looks old, 
what caused him to age?

2.  When you pray, does God actually answer in audible English?  If so, does 
he have an accent, good diction, large vocabulary, etc?

3.  How old is the earth?  If your answer is something on the order of 10K
years, how do you account for gradually-forming geological features such as 
the Grand Canyon?  If your answer to this is that God created an "old" earth, 
is there any way that we tell the difference between the erosion that God 
created and the erosion that we can observe currently happening?  Did God
scatter a few fossils about in order to confuse prideful evolutionists?

4.  Does anybody out there really believe the biblical account of Noah's ark?
If so, please explain how Noah handled the logistics of this operation. (How
did he gather the polar bears and kangaroos?  How did he build a boat large
enough to house millions of insect and animal species, not to mention their
food?  How did he dispose of the tons of manure that accumulated daily? Etc.)
Also, since it had to be continuously raining at a rate of 6 inches/min 
worldwide (to cover the highest mountain in forty days), how could anything
stay afloat?  Once the sea level had risen over 29,000 feet (world wide, of
course), where did all the water go?  Don't try to tell me that it
evaporated!

5.  Is is it reasonable that wealthy and politically powerful churches should
not pay their fair share of property and income tax?  Non-profit organizations
such as the Sierra Club have lost their tax-exempt status for becoming too
politically involved, but I have never heard of that happening to a church.

If I can get some satisfactory answers to these questions, there are plenty 
more where they came from.

						Jon White
						Tektronix
						Aloha, Ore.

tim (03/31/83)

Another good question about the Flood story in Genesis comes from
Mark Twain's "Letters from the Earth".

	"[Noah] had no kangaroo, and no 'possum, and no
	ornithorhynchus, and lacked a multitude of other
	indispensable blessings which a loving Creator
	had provided for man and forgotten about, they
	having long ago wandered to a side of this world
	which he had never seen and with whose affairs he
	was not acquainted. And so everyone of them came
	within a hair of getting drowned.

	"They only escaped by an accident. There was not
	water enough to go around. Only enough was provided
	to flood one small corner of the globe -- the rest
	of the globe was not then known, and was considered
	nonexistent."

If you haven't read this book, you should. You can get it at any
decent library or bookstore. It should be required reading for
Christians: it raises multitudes of questions which have no
easy solution, but which are at the heart of the faith. It is a
"dangerous book" -- it forces thought.

Tim Maroney

mcdaniel (04/01/83)

#R:tekmdp:-186800:uiucdcs:33000005:000:660
uiucdcs!mcdaniel    Mar 31 15:55:00 1983

One more can of gasoline on the fire:

I've heard (i. e. I don't have a Bible to verify it with) that
Methuselah was about 800 years old when the Flood hit, lived to
over 950 years -- and was not listed as being on the ark.  Is this
true?  If so, how did he manage this feat?

Well, just one more: salinity changes can kill fish.  If a significant
part of the flood was caused by rain, salt-water fish would find themselves
in fresher water.  Otherwise, fresh-water fish would find themselves in
much saltier water.  How did they live?

                                Wondering if Adam had a belly-button,
				Tim McDaniel
				(. . . pur-ee!uiucdcs!mcdaniel)

ee163cz (04/01/83)

   I think I can provide satisfactory answers to Mr. White's questions:

   1.  God's appearance/age/race:  God created Man in His own Image; therefore,
       He most closely resembles a fertilized Australopithecus ovum.  From
       that point on, it's all downhill.

   2.  God's replies (to prayers):  He replies telepathically.  This ensures
       privacy (telepathy is a *very* secure channel), and bypasses error-prone
       languages.  It also prevents heathen bystanders from hearing His words,
       thus guaranteeing that those who Hear the Voice cannot, in all fairness,
       be asked to provide evidence, like witnesses or a tape recording.

   3.  The age of the Earth:  Come on, everyone knows the Earth was built
       10**7 years ago by the Magratheans, with built-in fossils so the
       emerging lifeforms would not suspect they were merely part of a giant
       computer program.  By the way, the species which now calls itself
       'Man' is not the planned sentient inhabitant of this planet, but a
       descendant of shipwrecked Golgafrinchans.

   4.  The Ark:  As to its size, I imagine there was a hyperspatial extension
       of the hold.  Food & manure were no problem; manure was simply shoveled
       into the feed hopper of the Ark's autokitchen (if Beowulf Schaeffer can
       do that, why can't Noah?).  Rain was no problem; Noah simply had all
       the animals smile, thus providing a very effective umbrella.

   5.  Churches' tax exempt status:  As the Reverend Moon tells us, God likes
       money.  Taking away His small green pieces of paper is a good way to
       make Him unhappy, and that can have unpleasant consequences.

                             -- The Voice of Silliness,
                                Eric J. Wilner (AKA F. J. Gumby)
                                sdcsvax!sdccsu3!ee163cz

dje (04/08/83)

When did Methuselah die?  If you work out the arithmetic in Genesis,
he died in the same year as the Flood.  Did he die in the flood itself?
The text doesn't say.
Is anybody familiar with extra-Biblical (e.g. Midrashic) sources here?
There may be a supplementary legend that would shed extra light.
			Dave Ellis
			Bell Labs, Piscataway
			...!harpo!npoiv!npois!houxm!5941ux!dje
			...!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxm!5941ux!dje