billp@bronze.UUCP (Bill Pfeifer) (08/06/83)
Not all that many years ago people were burned at the stake
for proclaiming that the earth was not the center of the universe.
Right-thinking, christian people in those days KNEW that the earth
was flat, they KNEW that there could be no mountains on the moon ...
Nowadays of course we laugh at these poor, misguided souls
who so obviously misinterpreted the bible to come up with these
bizarre assertions. However, we do KNOW that the earth was created
6000 years ago in 6 days, because (bible quotation of your choice).
Now, of course there is no connection between these cases.
It's not our fault that in the past people did not fully understand
God's glory and came to wrong conclusions. If they had only read and
understood (bible quotation of your choice), they should have immediately
seen the errors in their thinking. This, however is totally different
from my belief in creation. I KNOW this to be true. If you do not see
how utterly impossible evolution is, I can PROVE it to you by (bible
quotation of your choice).
You claim that scientific research supports evolution? Our
scientists don't think so (the ones that had to sign a statement in
support of creation). If any other scientists think so, they are
obviously misguided/influenced by satan.
No, I did not actually do any reading of evolutionary theories,
because I did not want satan's thinking to influence my mind. I don't
have to look at scientific evidence either, because I KNOW it to be wrong.
OK, you want some scientific proof of creation? That's easy.
Just read (bible quotation of your choice).
Want more proof? Professor (name of your choice) insists that
(misquote of a statement 30 years ago). Since this is so obviously wrong,
that PROVES that creation is the only possible way to explain this.
You say that what I am reading is not really the bible, but only
some fallible human's opinion of what the bible really says? Of course
I know that Hebrew is a very difficult language, and not many people are
anything of an authority in it. I also know that some so-called
experts claim that there is no conflict between evolution and creation.
Our experts, however, say that the biblical 'day' was a real twenty-four
hour day. This is PROVEN beyond any doubt by (bible quotation of your
choice). Yes, of course this quotation is also translated by our experts,
which I KNOW to be right, so this is actually a double proof. How can
you reasonably doubt such OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE?
Oh, now you start on carbon dating. That's one of my favorite
subjects, since it clearly PROVES evolution wrong. All dates that seem to
be older that 6000 years are actually just before the flood. You see,
carbon dating relies on the assumption that the ratio between carbon-14
and carbon-12 was fairly constant throughout the ages. We KNOW this to
be wrong. At the time of the flood, the carbon-14 increased dramatically
throughout the world, making pre-flood samples seem very ancient indeed.
No, I don't know how this increase in radioactivity happened, but we
KNOW that it did, since it PROVES creation to be right. You see, there
really is no conflict between creation and any REAL science.
Well, what about obsidian dating? Obviously the flood also
increased the vapor pressure of water, so that water now penetrates
freshly cleaved obsidian surfaces faster than before the flood.
I know, you find it difficult to believe that these two separate
changes can still yield dates that match, but if you would BELIEVE,
these doubts would disappear.
No, I haven't studied all the new dating methods that you claim
to yield similar dates. I KNOW them to be wrong, and the work of satan,
who also sends the UFOs to test our faith.
No, I am not getting irritated. I KNOW that I am right, so your
questions don't bother me. Since you are my friend, I wish that you
could see the light. Just read (bible quotation of your choice), and
you might see the truth.
I do wish you would adopt reason instead of being influenced
by satan.
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The above is paraphrased from a recent conversation.
William W. Pfeifer
{decvax,zehntel,uw-beaver}!tektronix!tekmdp!billp