lab@qubix.UUCP (Larry Bickford) (09/30/83)
"Larry Bickford has been strangely silent" - Steve Den Beste. Yes, having a broken ankle is something strange for me, since I've never had a broken bone in my life. Anyway, to the subjects at hand... [Steve Den Beste:] "And why, one might ask, do these people have overhigh expectations [about sex]?. Among other things because they have never tried it and DON'T KNOW what they're getting into! Expectations come from (perhaps mis)information. And too much of the public gets their information from the entertainment media. [sdb] Larry, I find it interesting that you consider yourself an expert on sexuality when you haven't tried it. (I assume you haven't because if you have you are a hypocrite.) My life before Christ is forgettable. Also, I am not limited to myself for resources; I have many married friends from whom I can garner a fairly realistic view. [sdb] "Faith" is a very complex concept. Bosh. Faith is as simple as sitting down in a chair. [sdb] I advocate [abortion] as a means of "quality control" Hitler wanted quality control, too. Who is going to be the judge? [sdb] You listed three very good reasons why many do not use birth control techniques, but left out the fourth: 4. Their Church tells them that birth control is immoral and a sin. More bosh. A pronouncement from "their Church" changing the stand on artificial birth control might have epsilon effect on the population explosion - and that only in Latin America. The effect would be zero in Asia and Africa. [sdb] "God helps those that help themselves." Oh? [sdb] There is a cultural thing ... that sexuality is something in yourself to *CONTROL, not to *fulfill*. You'd be a real hit at Overeaters Anonymous or Weight Watchers. After all, hunger is a drive, too. [sdb] The classical morality on [sex] says: Sex should only happen in marriage, it should only involve certain positions..., of course it shouldn't happen too often, and above all, do not (that is *DO NOT*) enjoy it! I Cor. 7:3 "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband." Have and enjoy - within marriage! [sdb] Some people need sex more often than others. If one person who needs sex daily marries who only feels comfortable with it once a week, that is going to put a massive strain ... "Need"? The "need" is psychological, not physical. Some answer their psychological urges by just giving in to them. The more mature learn to control them, and thus enjoy them better when it is appropriate (like with my appetite - if I ate all day, I would not only get fat, I would probably lose the taste for food). Also, I recently read something interesting in the major area newspaper (I would have saved the article, but it was before sdb's last) on the decrease in amount of sex between a couple as the continue in their relationship. (The data are the researcher's; I pass no comment on them in any way.) The "average" couple has sex about 20 times per month during the first year; about 10/month during the second year; and less often in the later years. (let me guess - sdb will say that it's because they're making up for lost time! Nay, but I say that there is a greater need for the physical closeness and intimacy during the earlier years. But given sdb's two-years cohabitation, I wonder if he fit into the pattern, or if the life-commitment of marriage really *does* make a difference.) [sdb] people will get married because they are in love. True but tragic. "In love" is an emotion that often passes; genuine love is an attitude that lasts, even when the one loved upsets you severely. Love provides the much stronger basis. Interesting note: I haven't seen anything in the Bible about marrying the one you love; I do find that you are to love the one you are married to (Ephesians 5). [sdb] I am not sure I give as much credence to the magic of marriage as [Jeff Sargent] does - do you require a legal contract to trust someone you love? The paper is for the benefit of the state. It is the personal commitment - the words from the one you love that she is committing herself to you and you *alone* (and you to her - that provides the basis for the magic. Sure, it won't always be clear sailing - but then, overcoming the problems is what strengthens it. Larry Bickford, ihnp4!decwrl!qubix!lab