notes@iuvax.UUCP (04/11/84)
#N:iuvax:1700013:000:3024
iuvax!dsaker Apr 10 11:28:00 1984
In reading this notesfile, I have been struck by the fact that whenever
there is talk of suffering, it is of physical suffering. Certainly
the physical suffering in the world is appalling, and it has an "objectively
observable" quality to it (you can see the gaping wound - though you can still
only imagine the pain) which makes it easy to refer to, but mental suffering
may also be agonising, and is something most of us are acquainted with.
I am thinking of the inner pains we experience in our lives, from the small
embarrassments to the betrayals of trust, from the minor disappointments to
the major bereavements and crushings of hope, from the annoying frustrations
to the bitterness of a life derailed, from the mild depressions to the periods
of anguished despair at the futility of our efforts, the finitude of
existence, the aching, unanswered longings buried in our hearts.
What moves me about this suffering is that much of it stems from human
qualities that I prize. Our readiness to love and hold dear, our capacity to
dream and to be inspired, these things open us to loss and disappointment.
Our capacity for empathy and compassion, our need for warmth and affection,
these things subject us to pain. But I despise the attempt to shield oneself
from these pains by shutting down one's feelings; I value the attempt to hold
oneself open and sensitive.
On a more abstract level, consider the longing to "understand what is
going on in this life, what it all means." (I put that in quotes because to
try to express it well would take many hours and many pages.) A person rises
up from the round of daily cares, looks out (or strives to look out) at the
whole of existence, the outer life and the inner life, and feels the hunger
for an understanding, an illumination. His (her) inability
to "understand", the sense of confusion and alienation, produces
a piercing distress. As the mechanisms of ordinary thought and the very
meanings of words themselves collapse into disarray before the enormity of
the task (the task of "understanding"), this distress can mount to an agony.
Now, this heartfelt need to comprehend, to "understand", I can see only as
something precious and wonderful. Yet it brings a terrible suffering.
Some of you reading this might think that these sufferings could be avoided
were one only to pursue the correct religious path, but could any of you
agree to someone being punished for having the feelings that led to these
sufferings?
Often I have read people pointing to the physical suffering in the world
as a legitimate indictment of (a possible) god. Certainly the pain and
disease are terrible wrongs, but is it not even more bitter that to
be open and sensitive, to love and cherish, to strive to "understand",
should lead also to suffering?
The human heart is (can be) so rich. That it is squeezed in this all
too brief and limited life, this is to me the bitterest of wrongs.
Daryel Akerlind
...ihnp4!inuxc!iuvax!dsakeraeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) (04/13/84)
Another attempt at reply to Daryel Akerlind: > Some of you reading this might think that these sufferings [those caused by > being open, sensitive, loving to people, and those caused by attempts to > understand life] could be avoided were one only to pursue the correct > religious path, but could any of you agree to someone being punished for > having the feelings that led to these sufferings? I certainly don't think that following the correct religious path will eliminate all your sufferings. It may seem to, or even actually, increase them, at least temporarily. But God uses these pains to help us learn something about ourselves or about Him. Perhaps you might ask God (in case He's there) to at least make clear what He's trying to teach you by the unhappiness you have experienced (or are experiencing). That sounds like a glib, canned answer, but it's worth a try. I don't know what to say that won't seem insensitive on the cold display of a terminal; I really feel the pain and frustration you express (I've had a lot of the same--still have a lot). All I can do is keep praying for you; and your remarkably honest articles are a useful way to continue to challenge/remind me to do that. There is no reason for people to be punished for having the feelings that make them most truly human, such as you described; they are the feelings that Christ would encourage in us. The kicker is that in a world with free will, people can choose to respect your feelings and respond in kind, or they can choose to lacerate your feelings. > Often I have read people pointing to the physical suffering in the world > as a legitimate indictment of (a possible) god. Certainly the pain and > disease are terrible wrongs, but is it not even more bitter that to > be open and sensitive, to love and cherish, to strive to "understand", > should lead also to suffering? The suffering, of all kinds, gives humans an opportunity to become Christlike and help alleviate it. That the suffering exists at all, necessitating the alleviation, is because God's creatures have chosen to abuse their free will; that it continues to exist is more an indictment of a) Satan, b) people like myself, who don't do much to alleviate it. After reflection, I think you're right: It is more bitter to suffer because of the qualities that make the eternal spirit truly human, than to suffer because of problems in the temporal human body. BTW, on a less weighty subject: The reason I asked whether you are male or female was simply that there are occasions (writing articles, praying) when I find it convenient to refer to you by a third-person pronoun; it would be nice to know whether "he" or "she" is correct. That's all. -- -- Jeff Sargent {allegra|ihnp4|decvax|harpo|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq One man's data are another man's garbage.