moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Satan Himself) (09/17/84)
>I am really tired of reading about >which net personalities will (or won't) end up in the Lake of Fire at the >end of time.... Well, there has been quite a bit of free-wheelin' (yes, I use expressions like that... Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham have reserved spots down here) observations as to who is going to be picked for the one-way trip to my kingdom (it has been a major source of conversation for centuries). In exchange for a small gift (he can do anything for three months without it going on his permanent record (doesn't matter, there's NO WAY he can make an ascension with some of the things he's pulled in the past...)), Moriarty has allowed me to let you know who is going to end up where. No one, REPEAT, no one, will be going to the lake of fire. It was bought up 12 years ago by California real-estate developers (you know, the one's advertising on small TV stations about "Natural sauna's", etc.), and I couldn't touch the price on any lot there, even when I was raking it in during the Spanish Inquisition. We have, however, bought an are several miles from there called the Condominiums of Flame, and I promise you there will be spots in it for all of you. Except for Arndt, that is; apparently The Big Man wants to see him personally. Perhaps he's taking over my job? Beelzebub, Mr. Scratch, Satan, The Usual Hokum Hell -- A Tandy Company TM