[net.religion] 'Gay Rights': A conflict of values

jimc@haddock.UUCP (11/01/84)

#R:usfbobo:-20900:haddock:21800002:000:1031
haddock!jimc    Oct 31 14:37:00 1984

It seems apparent to me that you hold the indivdual personally 
responsible for the sexuality he/she has as if it were the 
individual's choice whether or not to be gay.  The logical reason I 
offer against your simple refusal to associate with homosexuals 
is this: sexuality is not a matter of taste, and just as you did 
not sit down and decide to be heterosexual (which I am assuming 
you are), homosexuals did not make the decision to be gay 
either.  I consider it against my religion (Catholic) to blame 
anyone for something which he/she cannot control.  In fact, 
recent scientific findings suggest that one's sexuality 
is determined before birth.  

In other words, whether or not you or the entire heterosexual 
community decides to refuse homosexuals the rights they deserve, 
homosexuality will go on, either openly or "behind the closet 
door".  The best thing to do, as I see it, would be to accept
this and confront the fact that many people will not act in 
accord with our personal prejudices.

				Jim Campbell

Pucc-H:aeq@CS-Mordred (11/09/84)

From Jim Campbell (haddock!jimc):

> It seems apparent to me that you [Brunson] hold the individual personally 
> responsible for the sexuality he/she has as if it were the individual's
> choice whether or not to be gay.  The logical reason I offer against your
> simple refusal to associate with homosexuals is this: sexuality is not a
> matter of taste, and just as you did not sit down and decide to be
> heterosexual (which I am assuming you are), homosexuals did not make the
> decision to be gay either.  I consider it against my religion (Catholic) to
> blame anyone for something which he/she cannot control.  In fact, recent
> scientific findings suggest that one's sexuality is determined before birth.

In a sense, an individual's sexuality is indeed a matter of choice.  But the
choice is between believing that the other sex is a friend or an enemy.  There
may be variants on this; one time when I had to battle some strong homosexual
feelings was a time when I felt that God would (for reasons of His own) never
allow me to have an intimate relationship with a woman -- the result of which
would be that if I tried, God would ensure that I got badly hurt; so a woman
would be, in a way, an enemy.  (Mind you, this is one of several aspects of my
view of God that have been mellowed out in the last couple of years.)  My
thesis is that confirmed homosexuals became convinced very early on -- in early
childhood, perhaps -- that the other sex was somehow an enemy, and that being
intimate with an other-sex person would be extremely threatening.  However, the
mere fact that their belief is very deep-seated, and probably based on very deep
wounds, does not mean that it can't be changed.  Having God's love and power to
assist helps a lot.

In other words, homosexuals and heterosexuals both decided their sexuality,
probably not consciously, but decided nevertheless.  I don't blame homosexuals
for their choice; given the data presented to them, that undoubtedly seemed the
best choice at the time, the one that reflected their perception of reality.
But they can be given different data, about reality the way it actually is,
and enabled to choose differently.  This could even be done without God, but
why do that when He's available and wants to help?

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
"I'm not asking for anyone's bleeding charity."
"Then do.  At once.  Ask for the Bleeding Charity."

brower@fortune.UUCP (Richard Brower) (11/14/84)

> 
> In a sense, an individual's sexuality is indeed a matter of choice.  But the
> choice is between believing that the other sex is a friend or an enemy.  There
> may be variants on this; one time when I had to battle some strong homosexual
> feelings was a time when I felt that God would (for reasons of His own) never
> allow me to have an intimate relationship with a woman -- the result of which
> would be that if I tried, God would ensure that I got badly hurt; so a woman
> would be, in a way, an enemy.  My
> thesis is that confirmed homosexuals became convinced very early on -- in early
> childhood, perhaps -- that the other sex was somehow an enemy, and that being
> intimate with an other-sex person would be extremely threatening.  However, the
> mere fact that their belief is very deep-seated, and probably based on very deep
> wounds, does not mean that it can't be changed.  Having God's love and power to
> assist helps a lot.

I think that you assume one hell of a lot.  I do not look on any women as
being in any respect my enemy, nor do any of the other gay people that I
associate with.  Also, since Gods love is for all, I think you make another
large assumption in assuming that gays do not have His power and support
throughout our entire lives (we particularly need His help to deal with
the homophobes misusing His name to oppress us).

Richard Brower		Fortune Systems

aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) (11/27/84)

>> = Jeff Sargent
>  = Richard Brower (fortune!brower)

I promised in a response to Steve Dyer that I would respond to Richard
Brower's article, so here goes....

>> In a sense, an individual's sexuality is indeed a matter of choice.  But the
>> choice is between believing that the other sex is a friend or an enemy....
>> My thesis is that confirmed homosexuals became convinced very early on --
>> in early childhood, perhaps -- that the other sex was somehow an enemy, and
>> that being intimate with an other-sex person would be extremely threatening.
>> However, the mere fact that their belief is very deep-seated, and probably
>> based on very deep wounds, does not mean that it can't be changed.  Having
>> God's love and power to assist helps a lot.

> I think that you assume one hell of a lot.  I do not look on any women as
> being in any respect my enemy, nor do any of the other gay people that I
> associate with.  Also, since God's love is for all, I think you make another
> large assumption in assuming that gays do not have His power and support
> throughout our entire lives (we particularly need His help to deal with
> the homophobes misusing His name to oppress us).

I will admit that once a gay man explained his homosexuality to me as
follows (approximate quote from memory):  "If you are like most straight
men [as distinct from comedians? :-)], the idea of having sex with a man
just doesn't appeal to you.  Now imagine feeling that way about women."
I will try to remember to refrain from trying to make sweeping judgments
about the source of sexual preference, though I do still invite you to
examine that of yours more closely.  But I still call it a "preference".
I have several times read accounts by homosexuals who came to the point
where they hated their homosexual lifestyle (e.g. because it provided
virtually no genuine human contact), and by giving themselves to Christ
they were able to become happy, fulfilled heterosexuals.  If you actually
like being homosexual, and have actual human contact (soul touching soul
and spirit touching spirit, not just body contact) in that lifestyle, then
Christ may have a hard time convincing you that there's something better.

Your last sentence does make an interesting point.  God is merciful enough to
help those who do not give themselves to him 100% (else who would ever be
helped?); He may also help those who have not experienced faith in Him at
all.  (I'm not sure which category you fit in.)

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Clearing /tmp

rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (11/29/84)

>>I think that you assume one hell of a lot.  I do not look on any women as
>>being in any respect my enemy, nor do any of the other gay people that I
>>associate with.  Also, since God's love is for all, I think you make another
>>large assumption in assuming that gays do not have His power and support
>>throughout our entire lives (we particularly need His help to deal with
>>the homophobes misusing His name to oppress us). [BROWER]

> I will admit that once a gay man explained his homosexuality to me as
> follows (approximate quote from memory):  "If you are like most straight
> men [as distinct from comedians? :-)], the idea of having sex with a man
> just doesn't appeal to you.  Now imagine feeling that way about women."
> I will try to remember to refrain from trying to make sweeping judgments
> about the source of sexual preference, though I do still invite you to
> examine that of yours more closely.  But I still call it a "preference".
> [SARGE]

Amazing how Jeff gleaned from such an account that women would be perceived
as enemies by gays.  I would assume that this means that Jeff thinks of all
men as HIS enemies, by this same logic.  (After all, he wouldn't want to
have sex with them, would he?)

> I have several times read accounts by homosexuals who came to the point
> where they hated their homosexual lifestyle (e.g. because it provided
> virtually no genuine human contact), and by giving themselves to Christ
> they were able to become happy, fulfilled heterosexuals.  If you actually
> like being homosexual, and have actual human contact (soul touching soul
> and spirit touching spirit, not just body contact) in that lifestyle, then
> Christ may have a hard time convincing you that there's something better.

There are a lot of people of all sexual (and other) persuasions who live lives
with virtually no human contact; that's one of the tragedies of our modern
society in many ways.  Unfortunately, I see many heterosexuals (and
homosexuals) being quite accepting of this, which is perhaps sadder.  Such
non-contact may not be the status quo, but to varying degrees it permeates all
strata of society.  Jeff's last sentence sounds so strained, as though he
doesn't believe the parenthetical could ACTUALLY be possible.  What is this
"something better" than "actual human contact"?  I surmise that it is "better"
only by your own subjective perspective and presupposition about what SHOULD
be "best", such as when you made your statement about "sex is intended as a
total union":  who told you the intentions of the intender, and what's more
where do you get off assuming that there IS an "intender" and that it has the
same motives that you have?
-- 
"Good thing I didn't say anything about the dirty *knife*!"
						Rich Rosen    pyuxd!rlr

brower@fortune.UUCP (Richard Brower) (12/11/84)

> = Jeff Sargent
>>  = Richard Brower (fortune!brower)
> 
>> I think that you assume one hell of a lot.  I do not look on any women as
>> being in any respect my enemy, nor do any of the other gay people that I
>> associate with.  Also, since God's love is for all, I think you make another
>> large assumption in assuming that gays do not have His power and support
>> throughout our entire lives (we particularly need His help to deal with
>> the homophobes misusing His name to oppress us).

> I will try to remember to refrain from trying to make sweeping judgments
> about the source of sexual preference, though I do still invite you to
> examine that of yours more closely.  But I still call it a "preference".
> I have several times read accounts by homosexuals who came to the point
> where they hated their homosexual lifestyle (e.g. because it provided
> virtually no genuine human contact), and by giving themselves to Christ
> they were able to become happy, fulfilled heterosexuals.  If you actually
> like being homosexual, and have actual human contact (soul touching soul
> and spirit touching spirit, not just body contact) in that lifestyle, then
> Christ may have a hard time convincing you that there's something better.

Actually, much of the problem with being a homosexual has to do with the fact
that the oppression of gay people has been an American rallying point for
generations.  Many more gay relationships would be successful if we were
not told by all you "good" folks that all we are into is 'body contact'.
Your relationships are 'blessed by God' and good... my relationship is banal?
There you go with another assumtion.  Why doesn't my life partener qualify
for company health insurance... he is the wrong sex.

Well, I'll get by, but it is more difficult... and compared to a few years ago,
things are easy today.

> Your last sentence does make an interesting point.  God is merciful enough to
> help those who do not give themselves to him 100% (else who would ever be
> helped?); He may also help those who have not experienced faith in Him at
> all.  (I'm not sure which category you fit in.)

As for the above paragraph, it is yet another example of intolerance.  Not
only are the mainstream prodestant denominatins (of which you are fairly
obviously not a member) currently reaching out to the gay community, with
the understanding that gays are not automaticly doomed, but several
Christian groupings are being formed by gay people.  Gays have often been
good Christians, although 'straight' churchs have had a great deal of trouble
dealing with us.  For some real Christian spirit, join your local Metropolitan
Community Church, even if only for a few services.  Communion is open to all
believers and everyone is invited to participate.

Yours in Christian love,
Richard Brower		Fortune Systems