[net.religion] Rosen, Ubizmo, and the Antichrist

wkp@lanl.ARPA (01/26/85)

An interesting article in the February issue of Discover magazine
concerns Christian numerology and the Number of the Beast, 666.
The author, Martin Gardner, demonstrates a few mathematical
algorithms in which famous names such as Kissinger and Falwell
have the numerological equivalent value of 666.

Unfortunately, the most common numerological algorithm (A=1, B=2,
C=3, etc.) often does not give the desired result; most people's
names cannot add to such a high number as 666.

Not one to give up, I constructed a simple program which accepts
a name and outputs a numerological equivalent value according to
the simplest algorithm (A=1, B=2, etc.).

I tried many names.  Not even when I input Rich Rosen's or Ken    
Arndt's names into the program did I meet with success (which
frankly surprised me).

Then, as the New Mexican sun set over the Sangre de Christo 
mountains, lightning struck.  UBIZMO!!  Carefully, I entered
the name into the lisp machine.  It seemed like I waited an
eternity.  And then....the number 86.  But wait!  Notice:

                         2
              (86 X 7 + 8 ) = 666!!!!!!!
                    ^   ^ 
                    |   |
                    |   ----------------- 8 is the number of
                    |                     Ubizmo prophets since
                    |                     Sun Moon Rosen.    
                    |
                    --------------------- 7 is the number of levels
                                          in Ubizmo hell (Ken Arndt
                                          is in the lowest of course).

                  
                **************************
      Oh my gosh!  The rapture of all Christians is imminent!

     (Maybe now there won't be any more assinine proselytizers
             in net.religion.jewish.......)

               ***************************

                               bill peter  
                               {ihnp4,seismo}!cmcl2!lanl!wkp

rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Pesmard Flurrmn) (01/29/85)

> An interesting article in the February issue of Discover magazine
> concerns Christian numerology and the Number of the Beast, 666.
> The author, Martin Gardner, demonstrates a few mathematical
> algorithms in which famous names such as Kissinger and Falwell
> have the numerological equivalent value of 666.
> Not one to give up, I constructed a simple program which accepts
> a name and outputs a numerological equivalent value according to
> the simplest algorithm (A=1, B=2, etc.).
> I tried many names.  Not even when I input Rich Rosen's or Ken    
> Arndt's names into the program did I meet with success (which
> frankly surprised me).
> Then, as the New Mexican sun set over the Sangre de Christo 
> mountains, lightning struck.  UBIZMO!!  Carefully, I entered
> the name into the lisp machine.  It seemed like I waited an
> eternity.  And then....the number 86.  But wait!  Notice:
>                          2
>               (86 X 7 + 8 ) = 666!!!!!!!
>                     ^   ^ 
>                     |   |
>                     |   ----------------- 8 is the number of
>                     |                     Ubizmo prophets since
>                     |                     Sun Moon Rosen.    
>                     --------------------- 7 is the number of levels
>                                           in Ubizmo hell (Ken Arndt
>                                           is in the lowest of course).

You'd have better luck with Ronald Wilson Reagan. (What does that passage
in Revelations say about the beast surviving his wound? ...)

In Ubizmatism, the number of the Antiubizmo (we just call her Auntie Ubie) is
-i, and it can be shown through lower mathematics that all names converge upon
the number -i given enough time, effort, and arbitrary calculations.  (Who is
this Bill Peter and why is he saying all these terrible things about my
religion?)
-- 
BRIAN:  "You're all different!"
CROWD:  "YES, WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT!"			Rich Rosen
MAN:    "I'm not ... "			     {ihnp4 | harpo}!pyuxd!rlr